What to expect in Monsey (from BP)

kiddo

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 9:28 am

amother wrote:

I don't agree with this statement. In addition, there is not really the "BP type Chassidish crowd" in Monsey - no Bobov type either. The vast majority of Chassidish women cover their shaitels and there is a lot of judgment towards those that do not. Satmar is ok because Satmar will always have all types, but the Monsey feeling in general is either very Chassidish or very Yeshivish. There is not a variety of schools and most of the schools are hashkafically the same.

Monsey is also pretty dirty and lacks consistency. Homes are developed by random owners, each very different from the other, but not aestetically designed like in Brooklyn or non Jewish areas. There is a lot of garbage and it is not safe to walk everywhere because of the lack of lighting and poor drivers. Monroe, by contrast, is really built properly even though they have a much higher housing density - it just had better planning whereas Monsey has been developed and built with good planning (I.e. drainage and grading cannot handle the amount of homes, so many streets flood).

There are plenty of good things about Monsey too - rents are cheaper and are going down (a little). Housing market is stable, there are some blocks that are still tree lined, many friendly old-monsey type of people, great super markets, not the best restaurants, beautiful deer, still are areas outside of monsey which are more affordable and certainly overall more affordable than brooklyn.

Read the above post again.. I find it very accurate!

amother

Slateblue

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 9:29 am

amother wrote:

Nchr, that is not true. No one provides transportation too far out. The department of transportation provides if the school is within your district. Satmer and Viznits have transportation for an extra fee, because they have the buses available for it.

You are wrong. The kids in haverstraw, new city, and other surrounding areas all get transportation.

little neshamala

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 9:38 am

amother wrote:

. Satmar is ok because Satmar will always have all types, but the Monsey feeling in general is either very Chassidish or very Yeshivish. There is not a variety of schools and most of the schools are hashkafically the same.

.

Again, walk into yeshiva of spring valley, prospect park, ateres etc and you will find hundreds of families who are not chassidsh or very yeshivish. Not to mention the more modern schools like ashar...

It sounds to me like you are only viewing monsey as the section of it that you hang around in...there are many many neighborhoods of people who are not chassidish/yeshivish. Where do you think we all live?

little neshamala

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 9:43 am

amother wrote:

. There is a lot of garbage and it is not safe to walk everywhere because of the lack of lighting and poor drivers.

.

Where do you live? The only time I see garbage is when I drive through 306 near phyllis terrace,rita, vizhnitz area, and it grosses me out. Yeah, wherever they put up a bunch of multi family homes one on top of the other, there is a lot of garbage and its terrifying to drive there.

But please realize that the areas with multifamily homes really do not represent all of monsey...

amother

Ginger

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 9:46 am

little neshamala wrote:

I totally agree. I think a lot of posters limit their definition of ‘Monsey’ to their specific neighborhood. My neighborhood of Wesley Hills/Pomona has a few more modern chassisisg families, lots of light yeshivish, some very modern orthodox and everything in between.

amother

Tangerine

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 9:48 am

Amother slateblue, I know 2 families that moved to New City and they dont have transportation.
I guess it depends which school and where the school is located.
Monsey became such a city that I'm starting to see where we can run to!! Bh in my area there isnt any building going on and no multi family housing, bh for that.

nchr

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 10:50 am

amother wrote:

You're welcome to PM me for ideas to work this out.

ShishKabob

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 10:50 am

kiddo wrote:

I do happen to agree with amethyst, the divide between the chassidish and yeshivish is great, and if you are a mainstream chassidish person you will have a hard time adapting...
monsey chassidish is very diff that Brooklyn chassidish... total different mindset.and I’m not talking chilled... everything is very defined... not talking when walking the supermarket, but with schools and shuls etc..
Country mouse and city mouse...
Also if you are coming from Brooklyn and planning to send to chassidish school make sure your okay with the no driving rule around, which may be a bigger contributing factor than you think...
best of luck!

I totally agree with this post.
OP, do yourself the biggest favor and speak to as many people as possible that moved from the city to Monsey, with your type of background in mind. You should be able to sift through all the information and come to an informed decision, or at least you will know what you are up against. Lot's of hatzlocha!

kiddo

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 12:14 pm

Disclaimer, I’m not taking abt monsey as a whole, pomona, Wesley etc, but assuming the poster is chassidish and she’s moving from Bp, which I somehow take it for granted she is, I want her to get her fact right abt her certain sect which I very different in Brooklyn and Monsey... with all due respect to the rest of ya guys...
Imho..

amother

Cerise

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 12:21 pm

To all those who say there isn't a middle-of-the-road chassidish type here - WRONG! There are plenty such people.

The problem is that there aren't enough such SCHOOLS!!! So such type of people end up sending to Pupa, belz, vien, bobov, sanz and feeling like oddballs. Plenty send to Bais Rochel.

I am such a woman. I don't go covered, neither does anyone in my extended family who all live here. Most send to BR, but there are those in other schools I mentioned. No one is in BDY. Most of my friends are like me meaning not covered and some drive and some don't. Majority send to BR.

So, as a person, you'll find plenty such people, depending on where you live. But as a parent in your child's school, you might be in the minority. It's a pity about the schools. People have tried to open BR-type chassidish schools, but for some reason weren't successful. And there's a real demand for it.

ShishKabob

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 12:37 pm

Cerise, there are more of you than you think. Many people just toe the line because they're afraid that if they voice their opinion they'll be escorted out of town and out of their school, shul at the first peep of dissent. So of course, many people are sending to schools and living in neighborhoods that are not 'their' type at all.
My explanation of these things is that it's all part of galus, we are not meant to be comfortable here and the people at the top are making sure to enforce it. cynical rant over

amother

Slateblue

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 1:13 pm

amother wrote:

That's very weird since I live there and don't know any family that doesn't have. Just on my block we have ysv, bycc, bais mikroh, darchei Noam, bais dovid, bais rochel, bais yaakov elementary, ashar, hasc. Everyone gets.

The only family I know that had an issue was bobov and they get bussing now and the school worked with them and actually got the bais mikroh busses to drop them off.

11213

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 1:14 pm

Thanks for all your answers. My husband and I are mainstream chasidish. I don’t cover my shaitel (shoulder length), I drive, and husband has long payos, full beard, wears long jacket.
Right now we send to mevakshei Hashem.

Is it going to be that hard for me to find a school for my boys ? Sad

amother

Amethyst

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 1:41 pm

11213 wrote:

I know I said I was no longer going to post. But OP I want to help you. I believe that these are the following Chasidish or semi Chasidish boys schools that allow mothers to drive:
Imrei Shefer
Munkatch
Bais Dovid (they give a difficult time with acceptance , especially towards Chasidish parents but they do have plenty of Chasidish boys and recently there have been more added. )
Imrei Binah

amother

Cobalt

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 2:40 pm

11213 wrote:

Munkatch will gladly accept you, if you have no problem sending there. I don’t send over there, but I know tons of people that do. They are all happy. Some are mainstream, some are getting out of a chassidus ( yet frum/ chassidish) etc.

amother

Tangerine

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 2:42 pm

Cheders generally give mom's an easier time with driving than schools. My girls school does not allow driving but the cheder of the same mosad does allow. Same goes for afew mosdos.
OP, you sound like you will do well in Imrei Shefer, but good luck getting in!

naturalmom5

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 2:54 pm

amother wrote:

I've lived in the Maple Leaf area, Cedar Lane/School Terrace area, Old Nyack /Brewer area and now I'm in the outskirts. My experience was the same in all areas. We got along with everyone but always stuck out as being "different" or the odd ones out. Because we didn't fit into the super Chasidish or super yeshivish mold. Chasidish people considered is Litvish and yeshivish people considered us Chasidish.
Now where I live it's mostly people from Williamsburg. I still haven't found that nice "mix" that everyone talks about.

Maybe try New City or Pomona. I have many friends that neither fish nor fowl, that are happy there..

amother

Lemon

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 3:20 pm

In a way, I agree with the posters who say Chassidish Monsey is different than Chassidish BP. Less diverse, more closeminded.
Take a school like BDY. In BP it would be embraced, considered somewhere like a mix of Bnos Sura/Vien BP/Gan Yisroel.
It's a Chassidish school with regents, allow driving mothers, with great hashkafahs, superb faculty of principals and teachers.

Monsey Chassidish people do not know how to embrace this school. Same would be if Gan Yisroel and BP Vien would open here. I've heard this from the people who would have considered opening these schools but are not.

I wish I could've sent to BDY but they have Chassidish havara and would not fit into my family.

If you are not going to appreciate these type of schools, don't lament the fact that there aren't enough. You're feeding into this cycle.