What to expect in Monsey (from BP)

Chloe

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 3:29 pm

amother wrote:

In a way, I agree with the posters who say Chassidish Monsey is different than Chassidish BP. Less diverse, more closeminded.
Take a school like BDY. In BP it would be embraced, considered somewhere like a mix of Bnos Sura/Vien BP/Gan Yisroel.
It's a Chassidish school with regents, allow driving mothers, with great hashkafahs, superb faculty of principals and teachers.

Monsey Chassidish people do not know how to embrace this school. Same would be if Gan Yisroel and BP Vien would open here. I've heard this from the people who would have considered opening these schools but are not.

I wish I could've sent to BDY but they have Chassidish havara and would not fit into my family.

If you are not going to appreciate these type of schools, don't lament the fact that there aren't enough. You're feeding into this cycle.

BDY is actually a very successful school. With a great parent body mix.
They are getting more picky and exclusive now, so I do think more such schools are needed and would do well here. Like the ones you mentioned, Gan Yisroel and Bp Vien .

amother

Cerise

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 5:10 pm

ShishKabob wrote:

Cerise, there are more of you than you think. Many people just toe the line because they're afraid that if they voice their opinion they'll be escorted out of town and out of their school, shul at the first peep of dissent. So of course, many people are sending to schools and living in neighborhoods that are not 'their' type at all.
My explanation of these things is that it's all part of galus, we are not meant to be comfortable here and the people at the top are making sure to enforce it. cynical rant over

The only people I know are people like me! Extended family and friends.

amother

Cerise

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 5:14 pm

amother wrote:

No one is in BDY.

This sentence of yours leads me to believe that you snub people sending to BDY
The same way you are snubbed by the parents of your children’s school
Its a vicious cycle

Chip on your shoulder?

I meant that sentence to say that being that even though BDY is the only neutral chassidish school, none of my family/friends send there, so what happens is that many neutral chassidish people end up in non-chassidish BR or in typical chassidish schools.

And I am not being snubbed by parents of my childrens school. I said I feel like an oddball which means that I feel like I don't blend in with them being that I am more open-minded and wear an uncovered sheitel, etc. They don't snub me at all. In fact we were accepted to this school despite not matching their exact levels of frumkeit because they want people like me.

amother

Cerise

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 5:20 pm

amother wrote:

I feel like you're addrssing this to me, and if not, forgive me in advance. I don't know where you see me not appreciating these types of schools. In fact, I was lamenting that there aren't enough, which means that we need more of them!!! We need a bais sura, Tomer devorah, bais bracha here in monsey.

There's no vicious cycle. People who consider opening schools need money and a clear mission statement. BDY did not have that when they started out, so it took time for their reputation to change. THAT's the problem.

amother

Tangerine

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 5:21 pm

Cerise, may I ask which school your girls are in?
There where several neutral schools that tried to open in Monsey that closed down. The issue is that they did not have funding. It's very hard to keep a school afloat if it's not under a mosad/rabbi. And people are wary sending to a school that's not backed by a rabbi.

amother

Smokey

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 5:27 pm

Chloe wrote:

But BDY is not going to appeal to someone who would send to say.... Bobov in BP, Bais Brocha, etc. Bais Rochel would maybe appeal to Bais Brocha parents but not to Bobov.

amother

Lemon

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 7:26 pm

amother wrote:

I did not address anyone personally, and I apologize if it came across that way.

amother

Cerise

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 8:14 pm

amother wrote:

I'd rather not say but it's one of the chassidishe schools mentioned on this thread.

Teacher_EW

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 10:53 pm

amother wrote:

It's very black and white. A Bais Yaakov girl married to a guy with a shtreimel feels out of place in the center of Monsey. It's either you are super Chasidish, talk Yiddish , cover sheitel, don't drive or your DH learns in kollel full time , and you are yeshivish. I didn't feel that black and white divide when I lived in BP. But times have changed everywhere and maybe BP is the same extreme black and white the way Monsey is, today. I live in Monsey close to 20 years.

I am that Bais Yaakov girl married to a guy in a shtreimel. I do NOT feel out of place in monsey, but I hear what you are saying. Most of my Monsey friends are more chassidish or more yeshivish than me. The bigger issue for people like me is schools. There is NOWHERE to send my daughter. She is 4 and I'm desperate. Its not even like I'm being picky. There is nowhere to apply

nchr

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 11:00 pm

Teacher_EW wrote:

Kesser

Teacher_EW

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 11:06 pm

nchr wrote:

Kesser

I checked it out. Their application is a laundry list of very chasidish rules (No secular books in the house, parents only use flip phones, no internet accesibility in the home, sheitels not past the shoulder, hosiery 40 denier or more). Not very Bais Yaakov-y

naturalmom5

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 11:09 pm

Teacher_EW wrote:

ASHAR..... You will get a great education, awesome parent body without all the garbage...

If you don't mind the 25 minute commute there is always YNJ...

amother

Tangerine

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 11:11 pm

Ashar is very very modern, definitely not for shtreimel wearing dads. Many mom's dont even cover their hair, many moms and most students wear short sleeved clothing and short socks. The modern ex chassidish send there after being thrown out of every school they went to....

naturalmom5

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 11:17 pm

amother wrote:

Many of my friends went there, my husband knows the place for over 40 years..

What I am hearing is you should forfeit a sterling education with really sincere people because of superficial nonsense like how they dress..

When I say krias shma al mita in a few minutes I am going to thank Hashem that I don't know you people in real life...

amother

Tangerine

Wed, Dec 19 2018, 11:38 pm

Naturalmom, how we dress is not nonsense or superficial! Why in the world would a chassidish shtriemel wearing family send to ashar?? It might be the best school but it's still modern and not for everyone. Married women not covering their hair & wearing shorts is not nonsense and superficial. The right hashkafa is more important than the best education. HALACHA IS NOT NONSENSE AND SUPERFICIAL!!
I did not say that Ashar is not a good school. But its not for shtreimel wearing people. Education isnt everything. Ashar is not the right school for chassidish, litvish, or yeshivish people.

amother

Cerise

Thu, Dec 20 2018, 10:37 am

Teacher_EW wrote:

You'll find those same rules listed on any yeshivish (aka BY) school rule booklet.