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princessleah


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Thu, Dec 20 2018, 11:23 am
I had no interest in piercing my DD's ears because I could not imagine adding another responsibility on top of everything else having to do with a newborn!
Now she is 6, said that she wants to pierce her ears but she is going to wait because of the pain. Also I won't let her do it because she's not reliable to take care of them herself. She buys clip-on earrings from Claire's and they also have earrings with magnet backs.
I think the overall issue that jumped out at me from OP is what messages we are sending our girls about appearance, clothes, accessories, etc. After having only boys I get the "fun" of dressing in frilly clothes and bows, etc. But why is this something specific to girl babies? Why do we turn them into fashion dolls for fun clothes and jewelry in a way we don't with boys? What are we then saying about girls and their roles? Things to think about-- we start enforcing gender norms in infancy. I personally would err to the opposite extreme and avoid these ultra-feminine markers as long as possible (of course with my luck, DD is super into clothing and accessories!)
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Chayalle


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Thu, Dec 20 2018, 12:02 pm
amother wrote: | A “normal adornment” is a wedding ring. The rest IMHO is totally unnecessary. |
That's your humble opinion. I actually expect more than a wedding ring from DH as adornment.
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zaq


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Thu, Dec 20 2018, 3:41 pm
I find earrings on a baby to be repulsive. Babies don't need jewelry, especially jewelry that requires piercing their ears! Why not go all the way and put makeup and tiny heels on them, too?
Do a search. A long, long, long time ago there was a thread on moms who put makeup on their babies for portraits. "I just put on a dab of mascara and lipstick"--this is on a baby, you understand, not the mother--because "my baby's eyebrows and eyelashes are invisible" "my baby is very pale and just doesn't look good in pictures" or "the photographer's flash washes out my baby's complexion". One amother was putting mascara on her baby boy, no less! What planet are these women from?
If this is really a "thing", no wonder we have amothers who go to absurd lengths to keep the Spackle on their faces intact over Shabbos! What sort of mother makes it clear to an innocent child that his or her G-d given assets are not good enough and she must be artificially enhanced to be acceptable? "You're adorable just as you are" may make a child roll her eyes in exasperation when she's denied permission to use lipstick or dye her hair, but no child ever got an inferiority complex from such treatment.
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mommy3b2c


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Thu, Dec 20 2018, 5:16 pm
princessleah wrote: | I had no interest in piercing my DD's ears because I could not imagine adding another responsibility on top of everything else having to do with a newborn!
Now she is 6, said that she wants to pierce her ears but she is going to wait because of the pain. Also I won't let her do it because she's not reliable to take care of them herself. She buys clip-on earrings from Claire's and they also have earrings with magnet backs.
I think the overall issue that jumped out at me from OP is what messages we are sending our girls about appearance, clothes, accessories, etc. After having only boys I get the "fun" of dressing in frilly clothes and bows, etc. But why is this something specific to girl babies? Why do we turn them into fashion dolls for fun clothes and jewelry in a way we don't with boys? What are we then saying about girls and their roles? Things to think about-- we start enforcing gender norms in infancy. I personally would err to the opposite extreme and avoid these ultra-feminine markers as long as possible (of course with my luck, DD is super into clothing and accessories!) |
I don’t know about anyone else, but I most certainly do dress up my baby boys like dolls.
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SixOfWands


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Thu, Dec 20 2018, 5:33 pm
mommy3b2c wrote: | I don’t know about anyone else, but I most certainly do dress up my baby boys like dolls. |
Are they comfortable? Able to move freely? Able to play? Not freak out if they do normal baby/child things that might wrinkle or dirty their clothes?
If so, then enjoy it for now. They won't let you do it much longer.
ETA -- didn't dress any of mine -- boy or girl -- like dolls. Don't like the look. But who cares.
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sky


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Thu, Dec 20 2018, 6:56 pm
zaq wrote: | I find earrings on a baby to be repulsive. Babies don't need jewelry, especially jewelry that requires piercing their ears! Why not go all the way and put makeup and tiny heels on them, too?
Do a search. A long, long, long time ago there was a thread on moms who put makeup on their babies for portraits. "I just put on a dab of mascara and lipstick"--this is on a baby, you understand, not the mother--because "my baby's eyebrows and eyelashes are invisible" "my baby is very pale and just doesn't look good in pictures" or "the photographer's flash washes out my baby's complexion". One amother was putting mascara on her baby boy, no less! What planet are these women from?
If this is really a "thing", no wonder we have amothers who go to absurd lengths to keep the Spackle on their faces intact over Shabbos! What sort of mother makes it clear to an innocent child that his or her G-d given assets are not good enough and she must be artificially enhanced to be acceptable? "You're adorable just as you are" may make a child roll her eyes in exasperation when she's denied permission to use lipstick or dye her hair, but no child ever got an inferiority complex from such treatment. |
Almost all infant photographs today are photoshopped or touched up to make skin smooth and clear and bright.
I think this also says a lot.
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princessleah


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Thu, Dec 20 2018, 10:44 pm
mommy3b2c wrote: | I don’t know about anyone else, but I most certainly do dress up my baby boys like dolls. |
As I was writing my post, I was thinking to myself... “except for mommy3b2c”
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