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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Simcha Section
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amother
Copper
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 Fri, Dec 21 2018, 1:44 pm
| ra_mom wrote: | Did the the hosts rent a party room at a hotel, and are using it as a simcha hall for the meals, but sleeping at home nearby? Are there people you can stay by neaby?
Or are they having a destination simcha and will be sleeping at the hotel for shabbos and expecting the guests they invited to pay their way for accommodations?
If it's the latter, just opt out. Very tacky. |
Hosts will rent room in hotel to eat. Let’s say they will choose hotel in New Jersey and not near a frum community.
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amother
Cobalt
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Fri, Dec 21 2018, 1:49 pm
| amother wrote: | | Hosts will rent room in hotel to eat. Let’s say they will choose hotel in New Jersey and not near a frum community. |
Is this an Orthodox event?
What is your goal in asking these questions?
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amother
Yellow
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Fri, Dec 21 2018, 2:03 pm
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I mean it is not proper to put people in uncomfortable situations. Inviting someone and expecting them to shell out for room or board.
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amother
Copper
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Fri, Dec 21 2018, 2:10 pm
| amother wrote: | Is this an Orthodox event?
What is your goal in asking these questions? |
Of course orthodox
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watergirl
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Fri, Dec 21 2018, 2:10 pm
| amother wrote: | | Of course orthodox |
Are you the host?
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amother
Beige
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Fri, Dec 21 2018, 2:13 pm
sorry but confusing
can you give a concrete example of what you are talking about?
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ra_mom
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Fri, Dec 21 2018, 2:28 pm
| amother wrote: | | Hosts will rent room in hotel to eat. Let’s say they will choose hotel in New Jersey and not near a frum community. |
I suggest you rent a simcha hall that's within walking distance to your home for the shabbos simcha.
Last edited by ra_mom on Fri, Dec 21 2018, 2:28 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Gold
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Fri, Dec 21 2018, 2:28 pm
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Amother cooper, why would you make a simcha at a hotel if you cant afford it??
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amother
Copper
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Fri, Dec 21 2018, 2:30 pm
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I am not making the simcha.
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amother
Cobalt
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Fri, Dec 21 2018, 2:32 pm
| amother wrote: | | I am not making the simcha. |
are you a guest - or asking for a friend?
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amother
Beige
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Fri, Dec 21 2018, 2:33 pm
Shabbos bar mitzvah I've heard of people renting out a camp, no one was asked to chip in for their lodgings
shabbos events were always held in walking distance to home hospitality arranged by host
if invited to an out of town chasuna we were offered options of discounted room block hotel room which if we came we paid for our room, airfare etc.
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amother
Ivory
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Fri, Dec 21 2018, 2:35 pm
Ok so it seems u are saying that u will be making a simcha in hotel and u will be paying for the meals but want the guests to come and pay for their own rooms(while u will provide the food).
This is wrong because if u make a simcha in a hotel u pay for everything including rooms. You can't invite ppl and expect them to pay even if its just for rooms.(my rich aunt made her sons bar mitzvah in a hotel and she paid for everything.
If u can't afford to pay For rooms, then u will have to make it in your regular shul or in a simcha room...in your community and u, the baal simcha find places where ur guests can sleep.
Of course, u can do wat u want but its not nice to make guests pay or find their own sleeping arrangements for ur shabbos simcha.
If u are talking about a relative making a simcha in a hotel and he is asking u, the guest, to pay for ur own rooms, then its not nice of the relative but u will have a choice to make about if u will go and pay or not spend the money and not go.
But, if someone makes a shabbos simcha, the baali simcha, the ppl making the simcha pay or find free places for their guests to stay in.
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sky
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Fri, Dec 21 2018, 2:36 pm
| amother wrote: | | I am not making the simcha. | .
Were you invited to a simcha in a hotel and wondering if you will need to pay? Or were you told to pay?
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amother
Burlywood
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Fri, Dec 21 2018, 2:41 pm
| amother wrote: | | If somebody makes a simcha in a hotel for shabbos who pays the hotel room? Also, when simcha is out of town who pays for hotel for the night? |
The host, who else?
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amother
cornflower
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Fri, Dec 21 2018, 3:09 pm
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If someone invites you to a shabbos bar mitzvah in yerushalayim and you live in the states who pays for the hotel room ?
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teachkids
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Fri, Dec 21 2018, 3:12 pm
| amother wrote: | | If someone invites you to a shabbos bar mitzvah in yerushalayim and you live in the states who pays for the hotel room ? |
You pay for any expenses for the trip, but they find you a place for the shabbos of the bar mitzvah itself. You aren't expected to get a hotel in walking distance of the bar mitzvah, and they aren't expected to pay for your two week stay.
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amother
Copper
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Fri, Dec 21 2018, 3:14 pm
| amother wrote: | Ok so it seems u are saying that u will be making a simcha in hotel and u will be paying for the meals but want the guests to come and pay for their own rooms(while u will provide the food).
This is wrong because if u make a simcha in a hotel u pay for everything including rooms. You can't invite ppl and expect them to pay even if its just for rooms.(my rich aunt made her sons bar mitzvah in a hotel and she paid for everything.
If u can't afford to pay For rooms, then u will have to make it in your regular shul or in a simcha room...in your community and u, the baal simcha find places where ur guests can sleep.
Of course, u can do wat u want but its not nice to make guests pay or find their own sleeping arrangements for ur shabbos simcha.
If u are talking about a relative making a simcha in a hotel and he is asking u, the guest, to pay for ur own rooms, then its not nice of the relative but u will have a choice to make about if u will go and pay or not spend the money and not go.
But, if someone makes a shabbos simcha, the baali simcha, the ppl making the simcha pay or find free places for their guests to stay in. |
Its the second time invited to a simcha in a hotel and the host is not paying for accomodations. Our friends think we are being cheap by not coming.
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ILOVELIFE
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Fri, Dec 21 2018, 3:20 pm
I don’t get invited to many simchos in hotels but I have family members who do and never have they ever been asked to pay.
Part of the reason many simchos do not take place at hotels is because the costs of renting multiple rooms + food+ party room is quite steep.
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BetsyTacy
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Fri, Dec 21 2018, 3:20 pm
Copper you are right. The only reason I can possibly think of is that you are constantly travelling for pleasure many weeks of the year to many locations just because you have lots of disposable income and you always like to be on the move. You also attend practically any event to which you are invited because like I said, you like to. If that is the case then your friend might feel miffed. Otherwise, they are telling you how to spend your vacation budget (if you have one). There are probably easier friendships to maintain.
I have never heard of a shabbos hotel simcha where invited guests are required to pay for their rooms.
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amother
Cobalt
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Fri, Dec 21 2018, 3:39 pm
| amother wrote: | | Its the second time invited to a simcha in a hotel and the host is not paying for accomodations. Our friends think we are being cheap by not coming. |
are you being cheap - or are you not paying for the hotel on principle?
The concept of this sounds a bit off to me as well - but sometimes being a friend means just 'going with it'.
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