Homeschooling boy in High School

amother

Brunette

Mon, Dec 24 2018, 11:04 pm

We live out of town with no dayschool and no yeshiva high school. We've homeschooled all our children, including girls through high school graduation. My oldest son will be in 9th grade next year. We now have to figure out a plan for him for high school.
Our rav says he shouldn't be homeschooled for high school
However, I don't want to send him away! I think 14 is too young. He's been homeschooled all his life. To all of a sudden send him far away I feel is a big mistake!!!

Has anyone homeschooled a boy throughout high school? Have they gone to yeshiva for bais midrash after high school graduation?

Thank you!

dankbar

Mon, Dec 24 2018, 11:43 pm

Are you enough learned, knowledgeable in Talmud, as a mother to make sure your son is learning what other teens are learning in yeshiva at this age? Also socially, don't you think he needs to go out in the world at one point? Not be helicoptered in the woods?

amother

Floralwhite

Tue, Dec 25 2018, 12:07 am

I understand you. If you have a way to keep him learning gemara etc on par, I would go with your gut. You know your child best and what is best for him. What is his own opinion? I would weigh that heavily. You can always send him out later when you feel the time is right and when he wants to. Does he go to camp or work to get friends and spread his own wings? Not everything has to be conventional always.

amother

Sapphire

Tue, Dec 25 2018, 12:11 am

No, no, no....
A frum boy needs to be in a yeshiva environment at this point. He needs a Rebbi so he can learn Gemara. He needs friends.
You will miss him but you will have peace of mind when you see that he is doing well.

amother

Brunette

Tue, Dec 25 2018, 7:19 am

dankbar wrote:

Teens need a social life, not only see their mother all day

Op here: In reply to this and your other post....my son (and other teens) don't "see their mother all day." My kids have a wide variety of sports and other activities daily, as well as rebbeim and tutors that keep them where they should be in learning for their age .

amother

Brunette

Tue, Dec 25 2018, 7:24 am

amother wrote:

Op here: He has rebbeim and tutors. The best we can have for out of town.
He doesn't want to go away...he says maybe for 11th grade. He has been to day camp but not overnight camp. (HIS choice. We have offered to send him the past few years, but he liked the day camp and his friends.)

amother

Sapphire

Tue, Dec 25 2018, 7:36 am

Maybe you can get two more boys and hire a Rebbi together for a good part of the day. Then you can call it a small yeshiva... give it a real name..
Have the boys learn with the Rebbi in shul, not in a house to make it more of an authentic learning experience
Hopefully the following year he will be happy to join an established place.

amother

Blush

Tue, Dec 25 2018, 7:48 am

amother wrote:

this is a good compromise.

Are you yeshivish or chassidish? The quality of learning he is exposed to now will affect his future ability to make choices about where to go later. It's worth it to send him to a good yeshiva so doors don't close to him later.

The connection boys make at this age are the later job and business connections and kollel spots in paying kollels etc. It's not only the immediate socializing.

By 11th grade he'll be the only one coming in and social networks will already be formed. It will be hard for him to " break in" .

I strongly urge you to send him now. You are seriously handicapping him if you don't.

amother

Blush

Tue, Dec 25 2018, 8:03 am

flmommy wrote:

Don’t send him away if he is not ready. If he has been successfully tutored up to this point no reason to change things. Does he have Jewish friends? He can go away for 10th if he is ready. I guess moving is not an option?

I forgot to add to my post that I tried enter School at 11th grade and I really struggled socially. Because all the social networks are basically formed after 9th. I did end up making friends but I wish I had started earlier

amother

Floralwhite

Tue, Dec 25 2018, 9:06 am

I have to add that these days its quite common for boys to switch yeshivas all through high school. I dont think him going in middle is detrimental. I feel that 9th grade is still babies. The difference between this year and next one or two years in a boy is huge. They grow so much from a boy to a man at this point.

Also at that point a yeshiva that is close enough to come home for shabbos would be a definite consideration.

amother

Brunette

Tue, Dec 25 2018, 11:09 am

Op here: Thanks for all the replies. A few responses:

1. Moving is unfortunately not an option!
2. Closest yeshiva is about an hour and a half away. However, we've heard so many bad stories about it. My son isn't interested in it. Next closest is 3 hours away. Not really feasible for coming home for Shabbos. (No direct buses or trains to and from that location to where we live)
3. We are yeshivish. (Someone asked!)
4. In case anyone is wondering about socializing, all my kids have plenty of friends. Others here homeschool. Some Yeshivish. Some Modern Orthodox. Some Chasidish. Kids have lots of activities. My daughters were homeschooled straight through high school no problem. All got into Yeshivish Seminaries and fit in fine. All went to camps and have a nice circle of friends. (My son didn't want to go to overnight camp before he turned 13. The summer he was 12 going on 13, he wanted to stay home to continue studying for his Bar Mitzvah. He's been to day camp all those years. Has good friends. So, he wanted to do the same last summer)

I know a lot of you might not understand or agree with homeschooling in general. That's fine! Some days I don't either and wish I live somewhere else! However, these are my circumstances. So, if anyone has any experience or ideas for homeschooling boys in high school I'd appreciate your input!

mommyhood

Tue, Dec 25 2018, 11:12 am

amother wrote:

I think this is true for girls but not necessarily for boys. Where I live it's very common for boys to stay in a local yeshiva for the first few years of high school and switch to a dorm for 11th or 12th. In general I find boys switch yeshivas more frequently than girls switch high schools.

amother

Lavender

Tue, Dec 25 2018, 11:22 am

Sounds like you have thought it out carefully.
However, why does your rav advise against homeschooling him further? Does he have specific suggestions as to where he should go?
I assume he knows you and DS well.
Since there are a number of frum homeschoolers in your area would you consider sending him with at least one of his friends to go with him?

hugs and hatzlocha