What's your big challenge in Life??? HUGS!

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Tue, Jan 01 2019, 11:14 am

amother wrote:

So how has it helped you ? I don't mean to sound rude but there is no positive side to losing a parent

There's absolutely no positive side in the original sense. I had to create one so I can function better.
I found that letting the pain take over my life is destructive. I can be a much stronger person and accomplish more if I find good in it in the same time as I cry and want to be with her. Sometimes I'd rather be dead with her than in this world of obnoxious arrogant people. Then a moment later I ask myself "is this what Hashem wants from me?" "What does He want from me in the moment?" Etc. This is what works for me and may not work for others. So whatever works for anyone else out there, by all means, take that path. If nothing works in a productive way, maybe this person didn't sit in the grieving enough. I don't know what works for all people, if there's a one size fits all. The point of my posts were that there's a way out of continuing life in a negative way with negative outcomes. One of my tools is that for every effort I make I'll get schar and schar is measured with all the emotions and pain involved in the deed, not only the deed in and of itself.
I feel sorry for everyone out there suffering. I'm an empathetic person, and alongside I'm also a solution oriented person. I cry along with people's pain. I do not have taanus to anyone complaining and I know first hand the pain of people rejecting listening to others pain. BTDT.

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 11:15 am

I hope the above clarifies a bit

amother

Vermilion

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 11:20 am

I was just diagnosed with breast cancer after having non Hodgkin's lymphoma for many years I am just depressed at the thought of dying and not having my grandchildren remember me! I also probably can't work while in treatment as a single woman how am I going to be able to sapport I currently barely have enough money to pay my bills! Trying to keep my spirits up!

amother

Burlywood

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 11:22 am

tf wrote:

Amother Burlywood. We are here for you. This is a place where you can share your pain and hear empathetic words. I feel for you. Your post made me cry. I believe you when you say it's soooo painful. I believe you when you say people don't want to hear of your pain. They might be too overwhelmed by it. Or they might not know how to respond. There are those who will never understand. And there are a few who will understand. Choose to speak about this subject to the ones who will generate health and well-being for you. I see the struggle to choose the correct people to speak to as a secondary struggle to the original struggle of loss of your child. I hope you find solace.
How long ago did this happen?

Thankyou for kind words. It happened last year

Zehava

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 11:22 am

I feel unqualified to post in this thread of challenges, some of which I share, some of which I can’t imagine facing and staying sane.
My life started out bittersweet, continued on to be quite bitter, and then turned very sweet.
Yes there is still a rollercoaster of challenges. I already know that whenever there’s a period of calm, chaos will probably follow. That’s life. We battle through the storms, we smile up at the sun when it comes out. It’s the only way to be happy.
You can have the most objectively charmed life but if you focus on what goes wrong you will be a stressed mess. I know too many people like that. And if you breathe through the pain and look for the great moments you can get through almost anything. Hugs to you all.

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 11:23 am

amother wrote:

Thankyou for kind words. It happened last year

Are you willing to share more information?

amother

Burlywood

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 11:30 am

tf wrote:

Are you willing to share more information?

What is the reason of your question

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 11:34 am

amother wrote:

Why do you need more information

I'm truly not interested for the sake of knowing. Part of the process of healing is getting it out of your system and here is a good place, especially if you're anonymous.

amother

Red

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 12:08 pm

amother wrote:

Is it Agorophobia or more specific?
I suffered from debilitating phobias for a looooong time. I was homebound at some points. It was so hard, I still cry about it. BH with meds and intensive therapy I am on the path to healing. Wanna send you hugs and validation.

Thank you for your validation. It is not agoraphobia. I am embarrassed to admit even anonymously what phobia it is.
What therapy did u do? How long did it take? I never heard of anyone else suffering from a phobia like I am, although I do know I'm not the only one, its still nice to hear so thank you.

Vintage

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 1:09 pm

amother wrote:

I am weighed down daily by my complex ptsd. I was hurt terribly by the therapists that I saw who had done so much ti help me past it. My husband won't seek help for his bouts of depression and anxiety. I lost a big chunk of my job which pays the bills. I have no time in my life for the creative outlets that got me through childhood and adolescence. I have no close friends anymore, and I feel like a square peg among my and my husband's relatives. I have a picture in my head of the type of mother I want to be but I can't often live up to it. It's 9:58 and my husband has not come down yet.

I am so very sorry for your pain. I can relate to much of what you are saying.

Diet and sleep are crucial pieces to healing from ptsd, along with exercise and picking up creative outlets. It seems as though these things are luxuries to many people, but when dealing with serious trauma, they are critical necessities.

There are a number of diet changes I've made to help tremendously, and a few supplements I find extremely helpful. For starters, Calcium, Magnesium, and Potassium rich foods are important, as well as a full spectrum of the B's. Under stress the body uses up these nutrients quickly, and Iron is important for women. Recently I had an oral surgeon tell me 90 or so percent of the women he sees are anemic and they do not know it.

For little money you can get frozen spinach, broccoli, a bag of mixed frozen fruit in bulk, some frozen OJ and some yoghurt and put in the blender w/some water, make a smoothie of some or all in the amounts you prefer w/some honey and you have a great nutritional drink. At night have yourself a warm cup of milk with a tablespoon or so of Blackstrap Molasses, and you will be surprised at how much better you will feel in the morning after doing this for a little while.

Lecithin granules I find very, very helpful. The brain is made up of large percentage of fat and so is the myelin sheath that is so important to our bodies.

dankbar

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 1:24 pm

Hashem should help all the people that are suffering so badly & send everyone yeshuos & bruchos & menuchas hanefesh & strength to carry thru the challenges. All the ill people should have a Refuah shleimah bekurov, & All mentally challenged refuas hanefesh & All the healthy ones should stay healthy. You should all have gezinte Yiddish nachas easily. Parnasa brevach. Moshiach should come & we will be liberated from this galus & from all tzuros & bask in the light of Hakadosh Boruch Hu, bmheira byumeinu!

dankbar

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 1:29 pm

amother wrote:

I am sending you big huge hugs! Keep strong! I don't know how you do it & I should never know! Try to think of living instead of dying....that will give the push to live & push thru. That I learned from my child.....children are like that.... they just live in the moment....& don't daage ahead! Refuah shleimah bkurov! May you have a full speedy recovery & be a gezinte Yiddishe mama!

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 1:30 pm

Oh my goodness. I just reviewed my own posts and sobbing some more. I don't even know where I took the strength to write all this comes from. And I didn't even share everything.

dankbar

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 1:31 pm

I was total wreck yesterday from hearing a couple of tragic news at one time. We need Moshiach now!

dankbar

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 1:37 pm

TF Hashem gives the strength to get thru your own challenges at the time you are going thru. When I hear others suffering, I am oismentch & don't know how they do it but they tell me that that don't understand how I go thru mine. I always say for your own nisyonos Hashem also provides the kochos with it. In a matzav, you are just working on your adrenaline & do what you got to do. Once the emergency situation is over & you reflect it can be harder to process & also you are surprised yourself, how you did it

dankbar

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 1:40 pm

rachelmom1 wrote:

Then Dankbar is truly an appropriate name. It's so important and sometimes even more difficult to thank for the good while in pain.

I picked this name, because going thru my challenges, I realized that the only way to survive is to find the good & be thankful to Hashem for the His Chesed & his little pats

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 1:41 pm

Thanks, Dankbar. I'm Dankbar for your words. You're absolutely correct.

dankbar

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 1:45 pm

Why make everyone cry on a green Tuesday? Let's save these stories for tisha bav

Surrendered

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 2:07 pm

It's our daily life story! We deal with it on a daily basis, and came here to get and give chizuk.

amother

Cerise

Tue, Jan 01 2019, 2:12 pm

Seems like very little compared to a lot of these challenges. But I live far away from my family in a big community and have not managed to make friends or feel apart of any social group in any meaningful way. We live a bit out of the way. My husband davens by random places and is not particularly concerned about whether those shuls will provide us with any social connections. It's more than just not having friends. It's a sense of feeling so totally unconnected to anything and almost like I'm just drifting through life. I'm so totally connected with my kids and husband. But, I need more.

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