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amother




Beige


Post  Fri, Jan 11 2019, 12:35 am
amother wrote:
1. "Eye candy" is a disgusting and objectifying phrase
2. Way to judge a community of thousands of women by the very very few who can afford (and attend) a Shabbos event in a hotel. Can't Believe It


Nothing wrong to be the best put together nor to spend shabbas in a hotel!( or to be a sahm and have cleaning help!). I’m definitely proud to see fellow Jewish woman/children like that!
Very Happy
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amother




Navy


Post  Fri, Jan 11 2019, 7:37 am
My yeshivish husband learns and I work. Hashem created me with a definite need for sleep, so when I am either pregnant or waking up at night (I.e. most of the time), I don't accomplish much at night. I can't accomplish too much with my toddler"helping" either. We can't afford much cleaning help. My husband does try to help out. I guess I am one of those shlumpy yeshivish women that other poster eas talking about.
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crust




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jan 11 2019, 8:35 am
penguin wrote:
I was thinking that there have to be women with ADD, a disorganized nature, poor executive function, women who are low energy, women who need a lot of sleep, and the reverse etc, in every community. But maybe it's bred out of certain groups by the process of natural selection (not that I believe in random evolution or anything). E.g. Mrs. X has a messy house so nobody would do a shidduch with her, therefore her genes didn't get passed on?

Could this happen?


Her kids got married at some point don't you think? Smile
How many families stay with all their children unmarried?

And of course the bolded is true. I can't partake in the discussion because the nonsense of the generalizations are just Can't Believe It
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L K




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jan 11 2019, 9:31 am
amother wrote:
I have 6 kids 12 and under!

Make beds daily sweep put stuff where they belong when I put away laundry which is usually Tuesday and Friday I organize the drawers again. I organize and tidy the dining room on Sunday’s. Thursday is a day in the kitchen baking and cooking

I never buy ready stuff in the grocery or the bakery my kids barely have takeout food. I do a menu for the week on tuesdays for the next week because I grocery shop on Wednesday and do my errands then.

I don’t wash my walls weekly we are not pigs yes the kitchen wall next to the table needs to be washed weekly


Please share more of your routine:

Do you work;
What hours are your kids out of the house
What’s your sample menu for the week
When do you cook suppers, and shabbos
Do you make more meals, such as pre-supper snack, Friday lunch etc?
How do you take care of yourself? Any self-care, hobbies etc?


Thanks!
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L K




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jan 11 2019, 9:34 am
amother wrote:
I always say being chassidish and not driving keeps me home to get stuff in my house done that needs to be done. Most chassidish people were brought up keeping clean homes cooking baking etc. it all comes with being organized and scheduled. But believe me there are plenty chassidish homes where you can’t walk in the floors there houses are flying there kids look like a wreck. It’s all what you want to see. I just sat down with my organizer to divide all work that needs to be done before Purim example starting to clean for pesach all the bedrooms and so on I have written down what week I will bake cookies for Purim .


Do you mind sharing more?

What type of organizer do you use?
How do you allocate tasks like pesach prep, any particular day(s) of the week, time slots?
How do you fit in extra seasonal stuff alongside regular weekly tasks?

Thanks
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Chayalle




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jan 11 2019, 9:35 am
baked ziti wrote:
As a Hungarian chasidista, allow me to clarify 2 things:
We are raised with the belief that keeping a nice, orderly home with good food and clean (not necessarily expensive) clothing is a woman's spiritual role. That's how we assist the men in our lives in their spiritual roles. They should want for nothing. Of course some women get carried away with the externals, but that's everywhere.
Secondly, some of the best times spent with my kids is folding laundry, organizing, washing dishes together. We shmooze and bond and create warm memories. Just because we keep our homes clean does not mean that our kids are
being neglected or yelled at in the process.


I'm a yeshivish woman in Lakewood of Hungarian descent. To a great extent, I was raised the same way.

Maybe those stereotypes come from way back in the shtetl, where groups of people stayed in one place for generations and were a certain type. But today those stereotypes don't necessarily hold true. A grandchild of litvaks can end up Chassidish, and vice versa.

I love the bolded and totally agree. Some of my best childhood memories were spent baking with my very perfect, very Hungarian, very loving grandmother A"H. Some of my coziest moments with my girls are spent in my kitchen (though less perfect, but still up to par, I like to think.)
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amother




Ecru


Post  Fri, Jan 11 2019, 9:40 am
L K wrote:
Please share more of your routine:

Do you work;
What hours are your kids out of the house
What’s your sample menu for the week
When do you cook suppers, and shabbos
Do you make more meals, such as pre-supper snack, Friday lunch etc?
How do you take care of yourself? Any self-care, hobbies etc?


Thanks!


I don’t work currently but I did for many years. I am busy with appts since there are a few issues going on between myself and my kids. The most my house is empty is 10-3 otherwise someone is always home. A sample menu would be
Chicken Sunday
Cutlet Monday
Ground chicken or beef Tuesday
Milchigs Wednesday
One pan supper on Thursday or Chulent

Suppers I cook usually at 2 pm some suppers require less work so I make them after 3 my sister who works prepares her supper in the morning
Snacks are fruit in season or I cut up vegetables I also always have fresh cake on the counter.
Friday lunch is pizza bread and then a few hours later is kugel farfel and Chulent.
I go out almost every Wednesday after the grocery with a few friends we catch up I go out with my husband at night once a week for sure. For me this is self care.
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amother




Ecru


Post  Fri, Jan 11 2019, 9:44 am
L K wrote:
Do you mind sharing more?

What type of organizer do you use?
How do you allocate tasks like pesach prep, any particular day(s) of the week, time slots?
How do you fit in extra seasonal stuff alongside regular weekly tasks?

Thanks


I use two organizers one for meals and one spiral type I buy the cheapest from x-mas tree shop.
So I will not cook and bake as much on Thursday from like 6 weeks before pesach I have most cooking done for Shabbos in the freezer so I work on Thursdays alongside cleaning lady for the heavier ork. I make sure to fit in everyday a little.
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amother




Pumpkin


Post  Fri, Jan 11 2019, 9:50 am
I don’t know about chassidish women always staying home I always see so many chassidish women shopping at the malls here in Bergen County.
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amother




Ecru


Post  Fri, Jan 11 2019, 9:57 am
amother wrote:
I don’t know about chassidish women always staying home I always see so many chassidish women shopping at the malls here in Bergen County.

Most of my friends work actually and they are chassidish
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amother




Red


Post  Fri, Jan 11 2019, 11:19 am
amother wrote:
Most of my friends work actually and they are chassidish


There are plenty of chassidish woman bh. Enough to spend the day in bergen county mall, enough to work and enough to stay home and attend the house all day. I am chassidish and have spent a few years working full time. After that I was fed up so spent like a year mostly out of the house shopping, going out with friends etc. Now I am basically home a lot and attend the kids and the house. I go out once a week. I can say I honestly enjoyed/ am enjoying each stage (except for right before I gave up my job. Was under too much pressure) Can be the same person who just changes over time and does what needs to be done according the circumstances.
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amother




Chocolate


Post  Fri, Jan 11 2019, 4:32 pm
I'm chassidish, I have few kids. I work, dh works, very little cleaning help. I cook and bake every week. Every day suppers. Walls, bathrooms, beds, floors are being washed daily, weekly, whenever necessary. You do what u see at home, I feel. My family and friends all have cleaning help 2x-3x a wk. I don't have official help and get to do the same basics that they're doing. I'm organized and clean and well trained basically. My kids help Alot ND appreciate to help. My son 14+ helps too, with bathing and setting table, etc. It's healthy for everyone to pitch in and be there for each other. I'm rambling while enjoying a bath LOL , without even rereading, so self care there's is as well Tongue Out . Git shabbos everyone.
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L K




 
 
 


Post  Sat, Jan 12 2019, 10:09 pm
amother wrote:
I use two organizers one for meals and one spiral type I buy the cheapest from x-mas tree shop.
So I will not cook and bake as much on Thursday from like 6 weeks before pesach I have most cooking done for Shabbos in the freezer so I work on Thursdays alongside cleaning lady for the heavier ork. I make sure to fit in everyday a little.


Shabbos stuff in the freezer- challahs and kugel? Anything else?

do you cook for shabbos on Thursday?
I understand Wednesday you do your shopping, and Monday and some other day laundry?

What was different when you worked?
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amother




Ecru


Post  Sat, Jan 12 2019, 10:32 pm
L K wrote:
Shabbos stuff in the freezer- challahs and kugel? Anything else?

do you cook for shabbos on Thursday?
I understand Wednesday you do your shopping, and Monday and some other day laundry?

What was different when you worked?


The luckshon is frozen in packages and soup I make fresh and always have a stock in the freezer for when I don’t want to make fresh. Most stuff can be frozen

When I worked I did everything after work and at nights now I get to go to bed earlier.
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Sun, Jan 13 2019, 1:12 am
I’m chassidish, work close to full time, have 5 hours of cleaning help a week, and run a very well maintained home.
Here’s how:
The kids have a responsibility chart with basic chores.
I do menu and grocery list on Motzei Shabbos, groceries and meal prep for the week on Sunday.
Suppers are prepared the night before or in the morning before work, and include soup, protein, starch, and vegetable.
Clothes, napsacks, etc. are laid out the night before so in the morning the kids can get dressed without help.
Clothing shopping and errands are done on Sunday and I try my best to do things online.
Self care is exercise early in the morning or in the evening when my husband gets home.
Housework is done in the afternoon with the kids or after they’re in bed.
I try to plan everything way in advance and always have a fully stocked freezer.
Hope this helps!
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Soul on fire




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Jan 13 2019, 2:13 pm
WTH is this thread? It should be titled let's see how many people we can offend and bash and put down.
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L K




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Jan 13 2019, 2:57 pm
amother wrote:
I’m chassidish, work close to full time, have 5 hours of cleaning help a week, and run a very well maintained home.
Here’s how:
The kids have a responsibility chart with basic chores.
I do menu and grocery list on Motzei Shabbos, groceries and meal prep for the week on Sunday.
Suppers are prepared the night before or in the morning before work, and include soup, protein, starch, and vegetable.
Clothes, napsacks, etc. are laid out the night before so in the morning the kids can get dressed without help.
Clothing shopping and errands are done on Sunday and I try my best to do things online.
Self care is exercise early in the morning or in the evening when my husband gets home.
Housework is done in the afternoon with the kids or after they’re in bed.
I try to plan everything way in advance and always have a fully stocked freezer.
Hope this helps!


What’s kids age range, when do you do laundry, cooking for shabbos, baking, what time do you go to bed/wake up, when do kids and you get home?
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nylon




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Jan 13 2019, 3:01 pm
I know chassidishe women who have a hard time keeping up with these "expectations." It does not just come naturally because you're Hungarian and your mother does it. We all notice the balabustas who seem to run everything perfectly. We don't notice people at the fringes.

I'm neither yeshivish nor chassidishe. I keep a tidy home (but not spotless: my mother did, though, and I resented the constant cleaning and how she never relaxed). I cook all our meals, bake challah, make everything from scratch. But I don't think it makes me a better wife or mother or person. I decided not to scrub my house 24/7 like my mother did because I like having some time to relax. That's okay.
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southernbubby




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Jan 13 2019, 3:34 pm
amother wrote:
I’m chassidish, work close to full time, have 5 hours of cleaning help a week, and run a very well maintained home.
Here’s how:
The kids have a responsibility chart with basic chores.
I do menu and grocery list on Motzei Shabbos, groceries and meal prep for the week on Sunday.
Suppers are prepared the night before or in the morning before work, and include soup, protein, starch, and vegetable.
Clothes, napsacks, etc. are laid out the night before so in the morning the kids can get dressed without help.
Clothing shopping and errands are done on Sunday and I try my best to do things online.
Self care is exercise early in the morning or in the evening when my husband gets home.
Housework is done in the afternoon with the kids or after they’re in bed.
I try to plan everything way in advance and always have a fully stocked freezer.
Hope this helps!


You could market your approach to those who would pay someone to help them get organized.
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sra




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jan 14 2019, 12:05 am
I'm chassidish. I work full time as do most of my sisters. we are also Hungarian. all my sisters and sisters in law that aren't working is because their husbands went out to work when they stopped working. All my friends (chassidish Hungarians) that aren't working, their husbands are working. I work but my husband learns. There are more chassidish people that go out to work therefore their wives aren't working.
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