OOT looking into moving to NY

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amother

Magenta

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 11:50 am

amother wrote:

BH, we come from families that have worked hard and have been successful. DH is also from outside the US, with costs comparable to UWS. We also don’t mind small and being frugal helps. Currently, BH, that’s not our struggle.

If thats the case, you may not be comfortable (unless youre a non-showy/saving type) in neighborhoods where most dont have that spending power, where you might hesitate before you buy or do something way more costly than most in that community. Most people like to live among others with similar tastes and spending power.

amother

Slateblue

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 11:52 am

If you are looking at KGH, you might also want to consider Kew Gardens (and perhaps Forest Hills). These are an easier commute to midtown and also have a yeshivish population. Far Rockaway might also be an option.
However, yeshivish where you live might not translate perfectly here. It would be good to check out the communities in person.

amother

Coffee

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 11:55 am

amother wrote:

If I understand correctly, you are moving for a job for DH that is commutable to Manhattan, correct? Then KGH is a great option. He will need to take a bus to get to the subway- the E or F train, but it is one fare. I don’t know of any upcoming construction. Express bus is also a good option. Some people who live south of 73rd Ave walk to the Kew Gardens subway station, but it’s a little far.
Agents, are good for rentals, but also join the KGH Shuls io group (similar to a yahoo group.) Just google “KGH Shuls” and it will come up. People post all sorts of neighborhood info there.
Why is it hard to live in KGH? Because it is in NY, and while it is more accepting and more welcoming than other neighborhoods, coming from OOT, there is still a certain rat race and pressure that comes with living here. If you don’t have family here, you may not be familiar with the mentality. There are certainly very down to earth OOT types here, more BTs and geirim here than in other neighborhoods, more of a “mix,” but yet, especially with kids, the pressure to keep up with the Jonses, the judgemental attitudes etc that are stereotypical of NYers is here, albeit to a lesser extent. It’s a neighborhood, not a community- many small shuls for with minute nuance differences as opposed to a few larger shuls. Because there are so many people here, individuals don’t “matter” as much as in a smaller community. If you have to live in NY, then definitely come to KGH, I was just wondering if staying OOT may be an option.
How old is DD? Where do you envision sending her to school? What yeshivos are your bachurim in? What do you mean by “yeshivish” when you describe yourself? That will help us find a shul for you, and then you can look for apartments nearby. Everything is technically walkable, especially by the standards of most OOT communities that tend to be more spread out in terms of housing. Here, walking 8-10 blocks can be considered “far.”

Thanks for the tip about the shul group! I’ll plan to join!

I grew up in south Florida, so we could say I understand a little bit about the mentality. It’s been many years though so I imagine it would be an adjustment for me.

Walking isn’t a problem for us and I understand what you mean. BH, DD is very laid back and is planning to go to BY. DS at Chofetz Chaim yeshivas. DH learned at Gateshead and Mir.

amother

Blonde

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 11:57 am

from my perception definitely yes but I'll admit that I lived more in the MO community going to the MO school.... Since my family wasn't really MO and we had been there for years we were familiar with the more yeshievish crowd as well. higher up is more yesheivish then lower down so I would suggest looking at the higher numbers. I would suggest you reach out to the UWS kollel and speak to Rabbi Prager who lives in the community. He would probably be able to give you a good assessment of the community based on what you are looking for.

amother

Coffee

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 12:02 pm

amother wrote:

That describes us well—non-showy. I shop second hand, $1000 sheitel, no cleaning help, and drive the same “yeshivish” cars as others minus the rattling muffler. DH mends his shirts. We both grew up like that. Our parents told us that’s how we had, BH.

Do you have a recommendation of a location to consider?

amother

Coffee

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 12:07 pm

amother wrote:

Thank you so much for the contact. Higher up seems cheaper too!

amother

Coffee

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 12:44 pm

amother wrote:

Thank you. I’ll plan to check out Kew Gardens.

ETA: I did a very brief search this afternoon of Kew Gardens. The housing seems maybe a bit nicer for the same cost. IDK why I didn’t think to look there before.

Does anyone have shul info? It seems there are lots listed with nusach sefard.

amother

Ginger

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 2:24 pm

amother wrote:

Next door to me (in KGH). You seem like my kind of people.

amother

Scarlet

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 2:26 pm

From what you have described about yourself, KGH does sound like a good fit. And UWS does not sound like such a good fit. Have you considered Far Rockaway?

amother

Coffee

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 3:08 pm

amother wrote:

Next door to me (in KGH). You seem like my kind of people.

❤️

amother

Coffee

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 3:10 pm

amother wrote:

From what you have described about yourself, KGH does sound like a good fit. And UWS does not sound like such a good fit. Have you considered Far Rockaway?

Thanks for the input! I have not considered Far Rockaway at all. I’ve never visited either. Can you tell me about it?

amother

Seagreen

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 3:17 pm

in terms of commute and down to earthness KGH is a way better fit than far rockaway. Queens is very well situated and KGH is much closer to the city. The KGH neighborhood is comprised of majority Boucharian Jews, with Ashkenazi Chofetz Chaim type (plus other types as well) and a bunch of young couples who are there temporarily. Far Rockaway has a tremendous mix of people also but is more showy overall than KGH.

mommyhood

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 3:20 pm

Have you picked a high school for DD? The only BY type of school in Manhattan is Manhattan High School. The girls tend to be trendy and more upscale. From what you've described that doesn't sound like a good fit. Are you or is she ok with commuting for school.

amother

Magenta

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 3:48 pm

amother wrote:

I dont have a recommendation because its SUPER admirable to live lower than your means, and there are people like that, but its pretty unique for frum people in the NY area, who imho lean towards living beyond their means, excusing it away with a million reasons.

amother

Scarlet

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 6:22 pm

amother wrote:

I posted earlier asking OP if she considered Far Rockaway, but I think the poster I quoted here makes very good points about why KGH is probably a better fit. I threw the possibility of FR out there because to me it is at least in a similar category to KGH in that there are a mix of people, including many yeshivish people. And those yeshivish people are more similar to OOT yeshivish, as opposed to Brooklyn and Lakewood which are more "in town." While overall FR is more showy than KGH, there are also many, many people in FR who are not showy at all.

ProudMommie

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 7:35 pm

Deleted

Last edited by ProudMommie on Tue, Jan 15 2019, 7:54 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Blonde

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 7:46 pm

magenta amother- I haven't lived on the UWS in 10 years but when I grew up there, there were definitely understated people there. My SIL actually commented when she married in to the family how simple and unassuming the people on the UWS are. Granted like attract like so since we were simple people it made sense that our friends would be also but some of the simplest people I know are from there. Growing up my classmates at MDS bought from the children's place, gap, old navy...

I think in most communities you can find your "people", the question is percentage and do you care if you are the minority.

I do think that it will probably be easier for your daughter if she doesn't have to travel for school. I had to travel and 10-12 I was the only girl from my class who lived on the UWS and it was hard.

amother

Coffee

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 9:46 pm

amother wrote:

Thank you. It looks like nearly 1.5 hours on the train from Far Rockaway to Manhattan, which may be difficult.

amother

Coffee

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 9:50 pm

mommyhood wrote:

We have looked into Manhattan High School. Is it correct there’s a LES BY? She can choose where she feels more comfortable, IMO.

amother

Coffee

Tue, Jan 15 2019, 9:52 pm

amother wrote:

Thank you. That’s very nice. Things have been different in the past. It helps reduce my stress level!

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