Home

Husband was Kvater without me?
1, 2  Next
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Relationships -> Simcha Section

View latest: 24h 48h 72h


jewishmom6




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jan 23 2019, 2:39 pm
My husband (litfish) went to a bris of a close relative (chassidish).
He was informed that he was being kvater with his mother.
I'm thinkin hey we are the only one that didn't have a baby in the last yr from his family Wink I wonder if thats why they gave it to him. LOL.
I thought this was kind of strange to be kvater with his mother.
I am very interested in hearing where this comes from...I thought the whole kvater thing was to do as a couple. Anyone know?
Back to top

dankbar




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jan 23 2019, 2:45 pm
It is done that way if woman is niddah & baby can't be handed over from one to another.
Back to top

amother




Amber


Post  Wed, Jan 23 2019, 2:46 pm
dankbar wrote:
It is done that way if woman is niddah & baby can't be handed over from one to another.


In that case, usually the mother or someone else would be passing it from the husband to wife. Never heard of the mother doing it fully.
Back to top

littleprincess




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jan 23 2019, 2:46 pm
I went to a bris recently where the woman's brother was kvatter. He was a chosson at the time so he did it with his mother .
Also my brother was kvatter with my grandmother when he was single.
So doesn't always have to be couples
Back to top

amother




Ivory


Post  Wed, Jan 23 2019, 2:48 pm
Think it’s more a couple should do it for the concept of the baby being passed from the women to the men through a lady and man that’s allowed to pass things to each other.
My husband thought it would b nice if my grandmother is kvater - so my grandmother (widowed) passed to my uncle (her son)
I’ve also heard single brother and sister being kvater.
Back to top

jewishmom6




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jan 23 2019, 2:56 pm
So if basically any male and female can be kvatter together what is it a segulah for?
And why are people more makpid about giving it to a couple (that have children) rather than singles or older ppl.
I am also curious to know if there is a source for this kvatter thing.
Back to top

cm




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jan 23 2019, 2:59 pm
It's an honor to be included in the simcha. I wouldn't overthink it.
Back to top

jewishmom6




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jan 23 2019, 3:04 pm
cm wrote:
It's an honor to be included in the simcha. I wouldn't overthink it.


I know that! he wasn't planning on going because it wasn't local. good thing he did go.
I just thought this was very strange, never heard of such a thing before. I was curious if it's normal thing. I am allowed to ask!
Back to top

mha3484




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jan 23 2019, 3:09 pm
Its considered an eis ratzon for tefilah. You can daven for anything you feel you need when you are kvatter. We have made 4 brissim and have given the kibud to anyone we wanted to honor.
Back to top

Ruchel




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jan 23 2019, 3:43 pm
When we had brissos (??) we had almost only guys except close family and a couple local friends at most. There was a chain of guy kvatterim.
Back to top

dankbar




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jan 23 2019, 3:58 pm
For a segula to have children should be the couple. For honor could be anyone.
Back to top

Chayalle




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jan 23 2019, 4:00 pm
littleprincess wrote:
I went to a bris recently where the woman's brother was kvatter. He was a chosson at the time so he did it with his mother .
Also my brother was kvatter with my grandmother when he was single.
So doesn't always have to be couples


I know a couple who were kvatter when they were Chassan and Kallah - the Kallah's mother had a baby boy.
Back to top

agreer




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jan 23 2019, 5:44 pm
My brother flew in OOT for my son's bris without his wife. We gave him kvatter and they were both so happy.

Kvatter can be one person. It doesn't have to be two. But it can also be anyone, any pair of people, etc. Does not have to be a married couple. It just has to be someone that can pass the baby to both the husband/wife.

I've mentioned this before, but in pre-war Hungary in my grandma's family, the older siblings were kvatter for the younger siblings. So cute!
Back to top

cmalky




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jan 23 2019, 7:18 pm
Does he have a father? We had my grandmother by kvatter but since my grandfather isn’t alive we also had one of her sons (my uncle).
Back to top

amother




Fuchsia


Post  Wed, Jan 23 2019, 7:48 pm
The reason for giving kvatter to a couple waiting for kids is because carrying the baby to the bris is a contribution to the mitzvah and the hope is that by helping their friends baby get a bris, they will be zoche to help their own baby get a bris.

The reason for having kvatter st all is because nowadays, women are not able to pass the baby directly to their husbands because of niddah.

It is considered a kibbud for anyone it is given to.
Back to top

amother




Goldenrod


Post  Thu, Jan 24 2019, 12:04 am
There are no rules. It's a nice kibbud, that's all.
Back to top

amother




Copper


Post  Thu, Jan 24 2019, 12:06 am
I was kvatter for my nephew when I was single.
Back to top

amother




Mauve


Post  Thu, Jan 24 2019, 12:10 am
When we had our first boy we had a bunch of single sisters from both sides. We had them all pass the baby (as a chain) because we wanted all of them to have whatever zchus there is. The last sister passed the baby directly to dh (her brother).
Back to top

amother




Gray


Post  Thu, Jan 24 2019, 1:41 am
By both my sons Bris my mil was kvatter with my bil (different bils) my father in law isn’t alive.
This way she also gets to join in the Bris in a way!
Back to top

Iymnok




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Jan 24 2019, 2:58 am
I’ve seen the grandparents as kvatter and older siblings of the baby as kvatter.
Dh and I were asked when we were engaged. I felt uncomfortable and stipulated that only if they were really really stuck. We didn’t do it.
Back to top
1, 2  Next Recent Topics

Page 1 of 2 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Relationships -> Simcha Section

Related Topics Replies Last Post
S/O maaser and relinquishing financial decisions to husband
by amother
25 Wed, May 22 2019, 9:30 pm View last post
Silver Becher for Husband 8 Tue, May 21 2019, 7:59 am View last post
Does your husband help with pesach cleaning? 57 Tue, Apr 23 2019, 12:19 am View last post
Any summer jobs available for my husband?
by amother
5 Tue, Apr 02 2019, 6:04 pm View last post
Tehillim for imamother husband 2 Mon, Apr 01 2019, 9:06 am View last post

Jump to: