No Pesach plan whatsoever

amother

Plum

Mon, Feb 04 2019, 9:00 pm

We did Pesach in the Catskills in the past, it was amazing but wouldn't work this year, as I said I cannot do all yom tov schlepping in this stage.
Sending the kids away is not the issue, besides that I don't have where to leave them at this time of year. Teenagers wouldn't go anyways...
We don't have any extra furniture or clutter, we have only what we need. It's still overly tight. Kids are kids and the tiny house always looks messy as much as I clean...
We live in Upstate NY, not Brooklyn.
Can't really relocate as my kids don't take changes well. I guess I'm pretty much stuck.

Trying to figure out what bothers me and what we need- $$$$$! so that we can move quickly to larger accommodations. For money you can get everything.

amother

Puce

Mon, Feb 04 2019, 9:50 pm

You write that you have no pesach plans. You really do...

1) you will continue to search for a nicer apartment over the next few weeks so you can possibly move in before pesach

2) you will probably have a newborn baby by pesach .. that’s a big plan!

3) you will be spending pesach with your husband and children in either your current home or possibly a different one

4) you will probably need a cleaning lady the last few days before pesach

5) you will probably spend extra money on more convenient food both before pesach and during

6) you will cook very simple or heat up prepared food as you will be right after having a baby

7) you will accept any offers you get both with child care and meals the week before pesach and during pesach

8) if you didn’t find a new apartment before giving birth, the search will resume after pesach and kids are back in school

9) over pesach you will rest and enjoy being in your own bed with your newborn at your side. You should try to send your husband or older kids out on trips during chol hamoed so you can have some quiet

10) try getting crockpot recipes that your family will eat so there will be a hot meal for everyone with minimal effort

amother

Lawngreen

Mon, Feb 04 2019, 9:55 pm

OP, if you have teenagers, I shall hope they're well and able to help you out with whatever you need. They can do all of the heavy work & the kitchen, & entertain the little ones over yom tov so you can rest. You can even teach them how to cook.
And how not well do your kids take changes? It's normal for it to take afew months or a year to adjust to a new neighborhood.

amother

Ecru

Tue, Feb 05 2019, 12:56 am

I know someone from Monsey that has a large family and was so choked she moved to a big private home in Blooming Grove. Its much more affordable.
Do you have section 8?

Her children commute daily to the Monsey schools they were in till now so no huge change.

amother

Plum

Tue, Feb 05 2019, 2:11 am

amother wrote:

No section 8. Blooming Grove is part of the Satmar community (its right near Monroe, NY). We wouldn't really fit in there.
I do appreciate your thoughtfulness in trying to help us out.

amother

Plum

Tue, Feb 05 2019, 2:15 am

Once I have a decent place to live, I will manage to prepare for yom tov somehow. Though I don't see it being doable at all in this apartment. Can't even bear the thought of staying here over pesach. (With help or without).

ShishKabob

Tue, Feb 05 2019, 10:49 am

OP, I was once in Aim Byisroel with a lady that moved to Monsey out of BP from one week to the next. She knew that the school situation was crazy and she may not be able to get into schools. However, she was sooo desperate because she had a very large family with tiny quarters and she felt like she was going to have a nervous breakdown. She figured she could rather deal with the stress of having her kids home with no schooling for a few months, rather than continue living in her cramped quarters. So she just moved blindly because she was so desperate. Sometimes you just have to jump into the waters like Nachshon Ben Aminadav, because realistically it couldn't get done. We are above derech hatevah. Sometimes the hishtadlus is the jump. I think you should ask a Rav like the other poster mentioned.
After this lady moved, the schooling slowly fell into place but faster and better than she expected. She was so greatful to Hashem for making this work for her.
I really wish you "yeshuas Hashem kheref Ayin"
Bracha and Hatzlocha with Parnossa and nachas!

amother

Mauve

Tue, Feb 05 2019, 10:53 am

amother wrote:

If you live in upstate, you can always move more out of the area for cheaper rent for larger apartment. You didn't say you live in Monsey, but if you do, look for apartments in Chestnut or Airmont or even New City and you will find better prices with more space.

You have teenagers? And no help???? HOW has that been allowed to happen? Even if your teens are boys, they can and should help you clean and cook.

flowerpower

Tue, Feb 05 2019, 10:54 am

amother wrote:

My sister was due with child number 8( I think) and was living in a cramped apartment. She moved in her ninth month and paid like $800 more for rent. She’s living like a mentch now and everyone is happier. Teens need their space!

amother

Natural

Tue, Feb 05 2019, 11:03 am

amother wrote:

Monsey is not "upstate." Albany, Rochester, Buffalo, Schenectady, they're upstate. Monsey is a suburb.

amother

Ginger

Tue, Feb 05 2019, 11:09 am

flowerpower wrote:

If you live upstate then isn’t the housing issue better than in Brooklyn? I thought you can rent a decent sized apartment for a normal price?

Your idea of a normal price might not be what op can afford. We don't have any absolute numbers here so it's hard to know. Let's just take her word for it.

But wherever you are, op, you need to find someplace less expensive.

amother

Tangerine

Tue, Feb 05 2019, 1:58 pm

Op your plan is either increase your income by dh taking on more work or an extra job, and you take on some work, even part time. Or take out a loan and borrow money. Or you seem to be staying in your apartment. I hope things get better for you. But you should probably consider bc after the baby is born.

amother

Mauve

Tue, Feb 05 2019, 3:13 pm

amother wrote:

Monsey is not "upstate." Albany, Rochester, Buffalo, Schenectady, they're upstate. Monsey is a suburb.

I know, but us, original NY'ers refer to Monsey, Skver, Monroe, etc. as upstate, so I put that out there in case that's what OP was referring to. But yeah, you're totally right. Smile

Helenk

Wed, Feb 06 2019, 7:34 pm

OP, I wanted to share one idea I used to do when my kids were small and we lived in a tiny apartment. Maybe it’s a bit radical, but it saved me a lot of stress. About 2 weeks before Pesach, I stopped serving crumbly chometz. No bread, cookies, pretzels, Cheerios, etc. I did serve pasta, which doesn’t travel, and switched to kitniyos-based products like Corn/Rice Chex, rice cakes, corn snacks, etc. There are plenty of options, and my kids didn’t starve. That way I wasn’t nervous all the time of them stepping away from the kitchen table and trailing crumbs into their bedroom/bathroom/living room or wherever was already cleaned. The kitchen table was 2-3 feet away from most spaces in my tiny apartment. I started cleaning in advance and doing this food adjustment relieved a lot of pressure.

amother

Goldenrod

Wed, Feb 13 2019, 12:29 pm

amother wrote:

How do you wash knives, peelers etc. if the sink isn’t kashered?

I almost bought last year a sink that is deep and portable for my porch for pesach washing of knives and cutting board and pots. Unfortunatelly I was too tight for extras. It was a fully portable square shape sink normal deep, not a mini sink. They had at house and home in williamsburg. I did line my DR table and cook on electric. There is a company that had strong electric double burners. I had 2 of those.