S/O apartment living: What age can kids stay alone (read)

amother

Babyblue

Tue, Feb 26 2019, 10:29 pm

Afraid to get judged if I ask people IRL but I really want to know what's reasonable.

I live in a large building with elevators and many apartments. Laundry room is in basement and I'm a few floors up. At what age could I leave kids in the apartment while I do laundry? By do laundry I mean about 5 minutes to go, put it in, and start the machine - I would do sorting etc at home. And then a while later another 10 minutes to transfer from washer to dryer, and then again later to pick it up from the dryer.

It will be life changing when my kids are old enough to not worry about leaving them alone while I do laundry.

Also, would your answer be different depending if the kids are awake or asleep?

chicco

Tue, Feb 26 2019, 11:01 pm

I don't think it goes by age. I would wait until I trusted my child to not only be safe in my absence, but have the ability to figure out what to do in whatever situation that would come up in those 5/10 minutes. Also the child having the ability to call me would also make a big difference.

amother

Forestgreen

Tue, Feb 26 2019, 11:18 pm

I agree, probably around age 8 for a relatively mature child. However I would NOT leave a child that age responsible for younger siblings while I run down.

amother

Babyblue

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 12:20 am

nchr wrote:

8 and up; however, it depends on the kid. You can always take them down to the laundry room with you.

Not if they need to go to sleep before you can get all your chores done Sad

amother

Babyblue

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 12:21 am

amother wrote:

I agree, probably around age 8 for a relatively mature child. However I would NOT leave a child that age responsible for younger siblings while I run down.

What if siblings are sound asleep, and always sleep through the night? Not babies just kids close in age

amother

Black

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 12:36 am

I would do it with sleeping children if I had a baby monitor on so I could hear what is going on; or with an awake child at least 7 and mature (or whatever age maturity comes) and stay on the phone with them the whole time.

amother

Babyblue

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 1:18 am

It's several floors down so a baby monitor wouldn't reach, but staying on the phone sounds like a good idea.

I don't consider my kids especially mature but I also don't expect anything to happen in 5-10 minutes when most or all of the family is asleep...

Mayflower

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 2:33 am

If the kids are asleep I would just go down for 5 minutes, regardless of age.

If they are awake I would say from 5 or 6 - basically once they are big enough to know what to do if they need you (call you) and are OK with you leaving them for a few minutes.

amother

Natural

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 7:22 am

My father got stuck in the elevator of his apt building on his way up from the laundry room - and he had left my brother sleeping in his crib in the apt!
This was over 40 years ago and before cell phones, so he just hoped for the best and when he got out an hour later, my brother was still in his crib and fine.

So definitely do not go without a cell phone and make sure a neighbor has your key.

greengrapes

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 7:36 am

Op, I live in a building with the same setup. I do know exactly what you are talking about. I wld never leave my children alone. Many things can happen in 5 min. ( fire, kid getting hurt...) I understand how hard it is because im in the same situation. I shlep my kids down with me( not fun) or do laundry late at night when my dh gets home.

amother

Babyblue

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 8:58 am

I've been doing a lot of late at night but it's just getting dysfunctional Sad

I have a neighbor with teenagers who might be willing to do a favor but I feel guilty asking too often, and they're in the next building so it's a shlep for them to come over for just 5 minutes. Said neighbor is also the closest one I would leave a key with. The closer neighbors are nice but I don't know them well enough to trust like that.

I think I'm going to try with a cellphone when only the oldest is awake. I try to do it during the day when I can take kids along but if I don't manage to get it done then I'm all messed up. I work during the day so I have a few hour window to do it while they're awake, same window as homework supper baths...

amother

Mistyrose

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 9:21 am

My 7 year old DD is pretty mature but I would not leave her alone in the apartment! Things can happen & we can never know their reaction. I wouldn't leave sleeping kids alone either. A 10 year old I would trust.

Mayflower

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 9:46 am

To those who say they would never leave the kids alone, even while sleeping, because something might happen: would you also not take a shower?

amother

Forestgreen

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 10:37 am

Mayflower wrote:

To those who say they would never leave the kids alone, even while sleeping, because something might happen: would you also not take a shower?

I can hear smoke alarms in the shower, and the kids can find me in case of emergency.

amother

Blonde

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 11:30 am

I left my 6 year old alone yesterday for 5 minutes (and the baby was asleep) but I stayed on the phone the entire time.
I wouldn’t be comfortable just telling them to call if there’s an emergency. What if they forget your number? Or it’s something where every second matters?

amother

Babyblue

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 12:01 pm

By the way, I've lived in this building since my kids were babies and I never saw anyone get stuck in an elevator. It's a modern building that is maintained well.

S/0 means spinoff, like one topic made me think of another (someone was asking about apartment building laundry rooms) but you don't want to interrupt someone else's thread.

I guess I've just been struggling with this for so long that I'm wondering how soon I can look forward to a change. This week: We were away for Shabbos and got back late. Sunday we had family visiting, they left late, and then I focused on cleaning up after. Monday I had an appointment and got back at suppertime. Tuesday I fell asleep early exhausted from other stuff. Wednesday night the laundry is closed for cleaning and maintenance so I better get it done before night. I buy extra socks and underwear so as not to have emergencies, but there's a limit to how many school uniforms I can stock up on Sad