ATT teachers | Imamother

amother

Chocolate

Tue, Mar 05 2019, 10:46 am

Just wondering, do you feel better than me when you see me, who doesn't teach? Do you feel you're on a higher standard than me, like you made it where I didn't?
I have this thing with teachers and always feel very insecure next to them, probably bec of some past experiences, so just wondering...

imasinger

Tue, Mar 05 2019, 12:02 pm

amother wrote:

dunno, I always feel teachers somehow feel superior to me and those like me.

You might want to pay close attention to the next time you feel this way. See if you can figure out what body language or words are giving that impression.

It's also worth checking with yourself as to whether you get that feeling with someone whose occupation you don't know -- do those feelings come up when you learn that someone is a teacher, but weren't there before you knew?

amother

Chocolate

Tue, Mar 05 2019, 2:21 pm

SisterSix wrote:

I’ll play armchair psychologist and say this is a leftover authority issue from childhood, when the teachers had all the power over you

No, actually it's deeper than that. Some of my nearest and dearest are teachers and look down at me or anyone else who doesn't teach for that matter as just not being as holy.

amother

Slategray

Tue, Mar 05 2019, 2:51 pm

I totally understand you OP. So many women in education I talk to make it seem like they are the only ones with special jobs, that their jobs are the toughest, they are the most underpaid, and that their job is the only one of importance.
Sorry- I don't get paid nearly my worth, (its pennies really. Advanced degree, license, trainings etc and I make a pitiful amount), I work with saving actual lives (a number of our clients do die. I work in mental health/at risk/addiction and people have no idea what is happening in our communities...), and its obviously highly stressful.
Then I comment why we need an extra day off of school before X holiday or other random day and I get yelled at from all sides. "Don't you appreciate the teachers? They have the hardest job, they are not respected by anyone (what about all those teacher appreciation days like Chanukah gifts, MM, sponsored lunches for staff...), get paid little and NEED that time.
Um- you have more vacation than anyone I know. I am saving your son's life (or your neighbor's. But I cant tell. HIPAA). I never get a thank you gift or even a thank you. You get automatic discounts, gifts, time off, and appreciation.
Yes I am looked down on. I feel it. I could go on. I am not a teacher because I saw my talents would be better served in this way. Yes you help mold our kids but how many died in the last year?) I could have been a teacher easily. It would have been way easier...

amother

Chocolate

Tue, Mar 05 2019, 3:13 pm

amother wrote:

Yes, it's always annoying but I wasn't referring to that. I was referring to that I feel some in chinuch perceive me somehow as less spiritual/smart/quality than they are since they teach and I don't. After all, (in their perception) I'm just sitting at a computer all day.

amother

Purple

Tue, Mar 05 2019, 3:16 pm

amother wrote:

I’m a teacher, not at all!!

Last edited by amother on Wed, Mar 13 2019, 2:18 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Emerald

Tue, Mar 05 2019, 3:24 pm

I see how teaching religious studies can be a more spiritual job than most others available to women, but why would teaching high school history or science be more spiritual than office work?

I feel lucky to have a job I enjoy, even if I constantly kvetch about how much homework I have. That doesn't mean I think people with other jobs work less hard or are less anything.

groisamomma

Tue, Mar 05 2019, 3:25 pm

OP, do secular studies teachers count? No, we aren't any more special than anyone else. Whomever thinks so or makes others feel that way is arrogant.

To amother above, I'm a teacher and I agree that schools have way too much vacation. Not all of us act entitled, but too many expect gifts and cards, never mind cash, in addition to tuition breaks and hefty bonuses. I also get annoyed when teachers gripe about their salaries. We made the conscious choice to teach, remember? I appreciate everything my children's teachers do, I see the hard work they put in, but I don't consider them any more special than anyone else. It's a job they chose and I'm thrilled that most do it lovingly.

I'm definitely not intimidated by them. A parent should never feel inferior when talking to their child's teacher; she may sound like she knows it all, but trust me as the mother you know more.

Last edited by groisamomma on Tue, Mar 05 2019, 3:26 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Bisque

Tue, Mar 05 2019, 3:26 pm

nah if anything I feel dumb for wasting my degree on a job with low pay and low respect. A lot of times people blame teachers for things we have little control over. I definitely don't feel superior to anyone for my job. Maybe teachers get tired of people saying that we're just babysitting (which, by the way, is a really hard, thankless job!!!), and then our defenses come off like superiority?

amother

Saddlebrown

Mon, Apr 01 2019, 8:58 am

I totally understand that feeling OP!!!!
Yes, I'll admit, I taught secular studies soon after graduating and felt so much more successful than my peers. I was a teacher!

I do get the vibe from certain people who teach that feel so much superior.
This does not apply to everyone. But specifically, I'm thinking about one person who by far feels that she's so much better and more successful than me and anyone who didn't make it in the teaching world.

OP, do you have a person or two in mind with your post? or teachers in general?

amother

Linen

Mon, Apr 01 2019, 9:36 am

Dc has 1 particular teacher who has this haughty attitude. She's taught my older ds's so I'm used to it. What gives this impression is her inability to consider another viewpoint. I've realized that trying to have a conversation with her is pointless, so I stopped trying. There's no dialogue, it's, This is what I have to say, you need to listen. And, what she has to say is always critical, never complimentary.

Personally I'm not intimidated but I can see how other parents might be

amother

Orchid

Mon, Apr 01 2019, 9:49 am

amother wrote:

Ah yes! I think those who are disagreeing, aren't hailing from the same community as you are. In these type of communities, teachers are the most praiseworthy jobs where the main criteria for selection is assumed spirituality along with yichus, nepotism, and very often money. The others are 'nebach' relegated to the do unsanctified, unholy work elsewhere. So those who get the coveted spots feel very good about themselves, sometime too much.

It doesn't matter if those teaching spots pay pennies and cannot support a family. These girls are so holy though, they'll only marry full time learners, with the issue of support being placed on the parent's shoulder, or government's shoulder. So you've got a recipe for girls doing holy work, don't have to 'get dirty' with the unsanctified work, and have full time learners to show off to boot.

Before I get jumped on, I do acknowledge that not everyone acts this way and some do everything for the right reasons. But there is quite a decent number who take great pride in themselves, and makes sure everyone knows about it.