Please help me....

amother

Lavender

Tue, Mar 26 2019, 8:10 pm

My Dh has ADHD, he's had it for several years and it's causing a lot of difficulty in school. In fact he's not even in school anymore. I live OOT and feel completely lost. I wish someone could hold my hand and guide me through this process. Our school did not help me or guide me at all whatsoever and I have absolutely no idea what is available and what ways a child like this can be helped. We went to a therapist who did not help at all. We go to a psychiatrist and have tried many different medications and have yet to find the one that fits. My main question is could somebody please tell me what other services and what other things I should be doing to help him. I'm reading here about OT, never heard of that for ADHD before. Could someone please list for me the things I should be doing to help him, OT? ADHD therapy? What are these things, what should I be doing, please walk me down this road...

amother

Lavender

Tue, Mar 26 2019, 10:06 pm

Thank you! He is 15, he was asked to leave school until we got him evaluated and got his medication right. He already had the evaluation which didn't tell me anything new and we have tried so many medications and none of them seem to be a perfect fit. He has trouble focusing and concentrating and often makes noises that are distracting. He is not defiant or rebellious or disobedient, he is a kind-hearted good boy who really just has trouble in class and with executive functioning. So now he is home he has a couple chavrusas a day and I'm trying to get him on a homeschooling online program but it is hard at this time in the year. So really I am just lost and trying to find therapies that could help him. I never heard of DIR therapy or that there's such a thing called social skills therapy, I would love more information about all of these things you've mentioned and I appreciate you willing to help me. I wonder why I'm feeling so blind in all of this while it seems other people are guided. I'm also wondering what other boys like this go for Yeshiva, he can't be the first boy like this and he's definitely not the most difficult

Helani

Tue, Mar 26 2019, 10:27 pm

I would suggest hiring an educational consultant to help you navigate options. Ask the therapist if they can recommend someone.
The website below is just an example, to give you an idea what to look for. They should know what services are available and how to go about getting them. There is a lot out there that you might qualify for.
http://cynthiadeangelis.com

Might also be worth to check into what your local public school district has to offer. And have a Rav who knows you well and can help you navigate the sticky issues in terms of yiddishkeit that might come up

I am going through similar issues with more than one kid and it's not easy. Just remember that we need to do our hishtadlus, but the outcome is determined solely by Hashem.

paperflowers

Tue, Mar 26 2019, 11:39 pm

amother wrote:

You sound like a great parent in a tough situation. I hate, hate, hate When a school forces medication as a requirement for attendance. I’m a big believer in medication when necessary, but chances are there is no one in the school who is qualified to recommend anything more than a psychiatric evaluation.

You said you brought him to a psychologist who wasn’t helpful. Did he ever have a full evaluation that resulted in a diagnosis and recommendations? Where I live the school district is mandated to pay for a full assessment, and even to reimburse you for a private assessment (but sometimes they won’t).

Sometimes schools that seem really reluctant to work with students will be willing to implement accommodations if they are given specific recommendations. That can include giving your son sensory breaks, letting him use a fidget toy in class, recommending that the teacher break down directions for him, getting him on OT eval, anything that helps your son be more available for learning.

amother

Amethyst

Wed, Mar 27 2019, 12:11 am

I just wanted to say that while dvom mentioned many valuable therapies that can help people with ADHD, most of them wouldn't actually be that useful if your primary concern is inattention. Perhaps that's why none of them were recommended to you until now.

Have you seen more than one psychiatrist? Sometimes even the "best" one isn't the right shaliach for you. What was his reaction to the medication that you've tried? Was anything helpful, but you stopped because of intolerable side effects, or did you find that nothing was even effective?

Also, have you considered dietary changes? How motivated would he be to go on a strict elimination diet and then slowly add back one food at a time to see how different foods affect him?

aricelli

Wed, Mar 27 2019, 12:21 am

DVOM wrote:

OP, I'd like to help.

My husband has ADHD. 2 of my 4 children have many ADHD features, though do not have a diagnosis.

Can you tell me a little more about your son? How old is he? You've said he isn't in school right now. What happened? How is he spending his days? What sort of therapies have you tried?

We have given my children lots of Occupational therapy, floortime/DIR therapy, speech therapy, social skills training (Michelle Garcia Winner's social thinking model)… Some of them need extra help with executive functions.

Wow- good to hear from someone else who’s done dir/floortime. Currently doing with ds and sometimes feel like the only one doing this! Really enjoying the process.

DVOM

Fri, Mar 29 2019, 5:54 am

amother wrote:

I strongly (strongly strongly STRONGLY!) disagree.

OT has been the most critical intervention for my inattentive children. Floortime/DIR has also helped with intention tremendously.

DVOM

Fri, Mar 29 2019, 6:09 am

amother wrote:

Hi OP!!

I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you... what a busy week!

Some more info, as you requested:

DIR/Floortime therapy is a wonderful modality. It focuses on social and emotional development through play and relationships. It was developed originally for Autistic children but has lately been adapted to treat a myriad of developmental challenges. Floortime has been the single most important therapy that we've given our kids, in my opinion. I think, for me, my kids' emotional development (developing self-awareness, awareness of consequences of actions, theory of mind, empathy) is what I value most, and Floortime targets these goals in a very organic, play-based way. I absolutely love it.

Social skills training: Garcia-Winner's social thinking model is a fantastic social skill training curriculum. It goes in tandem with her emotion regulation model, Zones of regulation. If floortime is a bottom-up, developmental approach, Garcia-Winner's approach is more top-down, focusing on building skills in a more cognitive way, through learning. She has a very direct, honest approach that I found a little shocking, even mean, when I first learned it with one of my children, the basic premise being that we all have 'social thoughts' about each other. If you behave in ways that are unexpected for your age and for where you are (for example, making loud noises in class) people around you will have thoughts about you that your strange, that they can't depend on you to do what most kids your age would do, and this will make them either make fun of you, get angry at you, or not want to be your friend. A harsh message, I know. But this essential truth is very important for many children to understand. Skills are built on top of this understanding.

amother

Seashell

Fri, Mar 29 2019, 6:57 am

DVOM wrote:

I have a 12 year old daughter that is high functioning ASD with anxiety, the DIR floor time and Garcia-Winner's approaches loo like they would be amazing.
For DIR, is this something insurance typically covers? If not, do you know typical costs?
For the Socialthinking, do you do this as a parent? I see they have books that look like curriculum and a conference that seems to be for Teachers. Is the social detective book a good start at home?
Thanks for all this info!

amother

Lemon

Fri, Mar 29 2019, 7:07 am

When you mentioned he makes noises in class -- what screamed out to me was Sensory Processing Disorder. Many of the symptoms are similar to ADHD but the treatment is different. My son has a Sensory Processing Disorder and would have a hard time focusing (as all the noises in the classroom get equal attention) and would make noises during circle time in preschool to give his body input it was craving. Fidgeting is another symptom.
It took years of OT and my son is now 14. He still sometimes needs input, but he is self aware of his needs and found appropriate ways to help himself and self regulate.

Please see an OT to evaluate. If it is Sensory Processing Disorder, medication will NOT help. Only a sensory diet (this is not food, but giving the body input it needs) and therapy by a trained OT in this area (not all OTs treat Sensory Processing Disorder) would help.

aricelli

Fri, Mar 29 2019, 7:09 am

amother wrote:

Although insurance hasnt directly covered my floortime, I do get reimbursed nicely by my ins company. I heard good news: NJ will start covering this soon!
Garcia-Winner did not work for us when we tried it- my son was on a very “low” level when we did try so perhaps that was the reason? It went right over his head. Maybe now I can try it again. Floortime works for every level- the experience is magical