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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
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amother
OP
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 Thu, Apr 11 2019, 1:23 pm
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I know there are so many of these threads, but really how do people afford it? I have two children. My husband has a good job. I work part time. And I can in no way afford to make the whole Pesach. Making second days and eating out a few of those meals. So many posters here vent about having no money. How on earth are you paying for all of it?
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thunderstorm
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Thu, Apr 11 2019, 1:32 pm
We have Baruch HaShem made Pesach 13 times of which we stayed home the entire duration and had guests. HaShem made sure there was just enough for us to get what we needed. I'm not sure what "making Pesach" entails for everyone. For us it means that our food bill for the week costs a bit more than three times the amount I pay every week. So the weeks leading up to it, I cut back slightly and don't buy more than we will actually use.
We will also end up with leftovers, new spices and ingredients etc that we will end up using year round.
We spend around $1,000 in clothes or shoes for those that NEED. Not just because it's a new season. It's an extra expense but again, we just buy it before Pesach yet they will be using it afterward so it's part of regular clothing expenses.
I try to keep stuff from year to year but we will need to buy a new urn, counter top covers and some odds and ends which is another few hundred.
I find that we have much more expenses around Succos time than we do Pesach time.
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ShishKabob
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Thu, Apr 11 2019, 1:40 pm
| thunderstorm wrote: | | I find that we have much more expenses around Succos time than we do Pesach time. |
I totally agree with this. It's so much harder for me with Registration, uniform, school supplies, school shoes (cuz they're not allowed to wear sneakers) and so on.
OP, there are many discounted groceries for families that want to avail themselves to that specifically for this time of year. They have widespread distributions, it's normal to be overwhelmed financially and sometimes you need some extra help.
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watergirl
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Thu, Apr 11 2019, 1:45 pm
I've been making pesach since 2001 and hosting my whole family for some meals and all seders. I have no frum family to go to. My family comes to me. Here is what we do:
Food:
Buy only what you NEED. Not what looks good. Those Israeli pickles that everyone loves? Its $4/can. Skip it. No premade salad dressing, its a week and we can go without and/or make our own with mayo and katchup and oil/salt. ONE roast for the holiday, if even that. I dont have the money for more than that. I limit matza consumption to meals only, not for nosh. We buy machine shmura for the last 6 days (as per our Rav; we cant afford shmura for the whole time. We needed to take tzedakka to buy it in the past and finally DH asked our Rav and this is what he said to do). Before I buy anything I ask myself if we really need it for the one week. Some things are treats that we buy to make pesach more fun for our kids and they look forward to it every year, like chocolate spread on matza, so that I buy. I save my spices from year to year (yes I asked our Rav). Yes, I'm sick of chicken and eggs and potatos and matza pizza after the week. Yes, its coming out of our ears. But its a WEEK and we all have to be team players and just DEAL WITH IT. We can not and will not spend on so much food.
Dishes:
I crunched the numbers after years of buying disposables. Other than the environment, I realized that for the $90 that I was spending on just the nicer plates at Costco, I could buy real at Ikea. So thats what we did! And now we have them and dont need to spend it year after year. The next year I bought cups, etc.
Clothes:
I buy only what everyone needs. The end. This is not the time to buy for the season.
In General:
We buy one "thing" each year. So one year was an urn. Another year was a crock pot. The first thing was an electric blech. Another year was an Instant Pot for pesach. Finally we have all the "things" we need so our "thing" I think will be a porch swing, I saw one at Walmart for $100. One year was Ikea plates (see above) and another year was Ikea cups...
Outings:
I work on chol hamoed so we dont really go anywhere. Thats ok also. The park is fine for my kids.
So this is how we make it work and try to keep it under as much control as we can.
Last edited by watergirl on Thu, Apr 11 2019, 1:48 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
OP
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Thu, Apr 11 2019, 1:46 pm
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I don’t know, I feel like we’re drowning. We live hand to mouth and don’t have an extra $1000 for clothes (and that’s before food). And like I said, were in what’s considered in the secular world a high financial bracket. I just don’t get it.
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Iymnok
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Thu, Apr 11 2019, 1:49 pm
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That’s why we have ma'os chittim. Also many Purim collections are used to provide for Pesach. There are organizations that distribute or discount vegetables, matzot and other basics. These are not only for the very poor. Its hard for most people, but it’s not a surprise.
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ra_mom
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Thu, Apr 11 2019, 1:50 pm
Pesach food costs double what one would spend on a regular week.
The weeks leading up to pesach when one is using up what's in the house, the food budget goes mostly to starting to stock up on pesach items.
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watergirl
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Thu, Apr 11 2019, 1:53 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | I don’t know, I feel like we’re drowning. We live hand to mouth and don’t have an extra $1000 for clothes (and that’s before food). And like I said, were in what’s considered in the secular world a high financial bracket. I just don’t get it. |
Why on earth would you spend $1000 on clothes?!
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amother
Teal
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Thu, Apr 11 2019, 1:53 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | I don’t know, I feel like we’re drowning. We live hand to mouth and don’t have an extra $1000 for clothes (and that’s before food). And like I said, were in what’s considered in the secular world a high financial bracket. I just don’t get it. |
Tuition and high rent / mortgage. Thats why.
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amother
OP
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Thu, Apr 11 2019, 1:55 pm
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My daughter got one new dress and shoes, two pairs bec she needed new shoes for school too. Two pairs of socks, which means I have to do laundry (I don’t even know until what age you’re allowed to wash clothes for on Chol Hamoed). She still needs a new shell for a hand me down skirt. My son has suits and shoes that still fit him, but I still need to get new shirts because I can’t do laundry for him. I got myself some new clothes because I gained weight. Not thinking about the cleaners bill next week with all the alterations. Buying some things from amazon with a gift card. The only food I’ll be buying for yt next week is some basics to have in the house on Erev Pesach. The rest I’ll get the next week which will be on a measly paycheck because I have very few clients before pesach. What am I doing wrong?
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amother
OP
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Thu, Apr 11 2019, 1:56 pm
| watergirl wrote: | | Why on earth would you spend $1000 on clothes?! |
I wouldn’t. I was referring to another post.
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amother
OP
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Thu, Apr 11 2019, 1:56 pm
| amother [ Teal ] wrote: | | Tuition and high rent / mortgage. Thats why. |
And I live in a place where both tuition and housing are cheaper than other Jewish communities.
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amother
Babypink
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Thu, Apr 11 2019, 1:57 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | I don’t know, I feel like we’re drowning. We live hand to mouth and don’t have an extra $1000 for clothes (and that’s before food). And like I said, were in what’s considered in the secular world a high financial bracket. I just don’t get it. |
Could it be you're spending on unnecessary things? If you're always living hand to mouth with 2 kids then that suggests to me (pesach aside) that either you dont make as much as you need (do you want to share what your income is?)or that without realizing your expenses are too high unnecessarily.
Or maybe im just very out of touch, it could be! I hope this came out sounding ok, im really just trying to help you
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watergirl
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Thu, Apr 11 2019, 1:59 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | I wouldn’t. I was referring to another post. |
Gotcha. Well, I explained what we do. Hope that helped.
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gamanit
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Thu, Apr 11 2019, 2:02 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | My daughter got one new dress and shoes, two pairs bec she needed new shoes for school too. Two pairs of socks, which means I have to do laundry (I don’t even know until what age you’re allowed to wash clothes for on Chol Hamoed). She still needs a new shell for a hand me down skirt. My son has suits and shoes that still fit him, but I still need to get new shirts because I can’t do laundry for him. I got myself some new clothes because I gained weight. Not thinking about the cleaners bill next week with all the alterations. Buying some things from amazon with a gift card. The only food I’ll be buying for yt next week is some basics to have in the house on Erev Pesach. The rest I’ll get the next week which will be on a measly paycheck because I have very few clients before pesach. What am I doing wrong? |
I did not get my kids shoes for yom tov. I might get later but right now their winter pairs still fit them. What socks is she wearing every day? I actually did buy some new pairs of tights for my daughter since she needed new ones altogether but most families don't reuse the same two pairs of socks every two days. I mostly use hand me downs for my kids or inexpensive clothes. The biggest expense of pesach for us is the matzah.
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amother
OP
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Thu, Apr 11 2019, 2:19 pm
| gamanit wrote: | | I did not get my kids shoes for yom tov. I might get later but right now their winter pairs still fit them. What socks is she wearing every day? I actually did buy some new pairs of tights for my daughter since she needed new ones altogether but most families don't reuse the same two pairs of socks every two days. I mostly use hand me downs for my kids or inexpensive clothes. The biggest expense of pesach for us is the matzah. |
Her last pair was from last summer so she really needed. And I bought her shabbos socks. Her school socks are really too casual and wintery.
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thunderstorm
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Thu, Apr 11 2019, 2:19 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | I don’t know, I feel like we’re drowning. We live hand to mouth and don’t have an extra $1000 for clothes (and that’s before food). And like I said, were in what’s considered in the secular world a high financial bracket. I just don’t get it. |
When I said $1,000 on clothes I was referring to my DS's new hat which is his first new hat since his Bar Mitzvah four years ago, New shoes for two kids, new shoes for me, 2 snoods for me, tights for me, a suit for 2 DSs , one an adult size one kid size, shirts for 3 DSs, baby clothes for my baby who is going up a size (and I don't have handmedowns for her) and a spring jacket for one son. It all adds up to just about $1,000 but these are things we need and would have bought anyway, we decided to push it until Yom Tov so that it could be used lekovod Yom Tov first.
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amother
OP
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Thu, Apr 11 2019, 2:21 pm
| amother [ Babypink ] wrote: | Could it be you're spending on unnecessary things? If you're always living hand to mouth with 2 kids then that suggests to me (pesach aside) that either you dont make as much as you need (do you want to share what your income is?)or that without realizing your expenses are too high unnecessarily.
Or maybe im just very out of touch, it could be! I hope this came out sounding ok, im really just trying to help you |
Don’t worry you came out sounding fine. We net around 135, and after tuition, insurance, mortgage and all the other bills, we bh do have enough to live on. But not enough for huge yt expenses. I’m not even asking how people afford to go away (hotels, Florida, etc), which every single one of my good friends are doing. Just trying to figure out the basics.
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amother
Blonde
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Thu, Apr 11 2019, 2:21 pm
[quote="thunderstorm"
I find that we have much more expenses around Succos time than we do Pesach time.[/quote]
Omg, YES!!! All the back to school expenses, then three major Yomtovs in a row, is wayyyy more overwhelming and expensive than Pesach!!!!! Everyone who knows me knows I always say "Why do we complain about Pesach so much?! Succos is way, way, way more draining emotionally and financially!!!"
And op, I hope Hashem gives you an abundance of resources to make a beautiful Pesach, and every Yomtov in the future.
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amother
Pink
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Thu, Apr 11 2019, 2:24 pm
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Baruch Hashem for IRS rebates.
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