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When is being machmir too far? Can it?
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amother




Lemon


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 10:46 am
Amothet bisque, there's a vast difference from being .machmir on food and being machmir on toilet paper! Come on. Some people really do go crazy. It's sick. Cutting a wig is a chashivus, using toilet paper only with a hechsher (which u probably wont find) is crazy. Sorry.
We need to remember that one of the MITZVOS of yom tov is to be B'SIMCHA! It's a mitzva, not a minhag or machmir. It's sad that so many get side tracked with shtissim and craziness.
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amother




Bisque


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 10:46 am
amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:
It's very arrogant to claim that a neis happened because of something you did. Anyone who wants to take on a chumra should consult a Rav; same for anyone who wants to stop a certain chumra.


There are many sefarim that make this claim that extraordinary things happen when we take on extra and go above and beyond. I think people are mocking it because it's toilet paper.
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amother




Bisque


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 10:49 am
amother [ Lemon ] wrote:
Amothet bisque, there's a vast difference from being .machmir on food and being machmir on toilet paper! Come on. Some people really do go crazy. It's sick. Cutting a wig is a chashivus, using toilet paper only with a hechsher (which u probably wont find) is crazy. Sorry.
We need to remember that one of the MITZVOS of yom tov is to be B'SIMCHA! It's a mitzva, not a minhag or machmir. It's sad that so many get side tracked with shtissim and craziness.



Maybe your right. It's hard for me to argue. What it boils down to us what chemical and materials go into toilet paper. If any of them are questionable, I don't see why we can't be machmir for schar.
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renslet




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 10:49 am
amother [ Bisque ] wrote:
There are many sefarim that make this claim that extraordinary things happen when we take on extra and go above and beyond. I think people are mocking it because it's toilet paper.

Again, taking on something extra needs to be something with a source or mesorah. If I decide to only eat oranges on Tuesday, because they taste good and Hashem said ki tov twice on Tuesday, do I get extra zechusim?
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amother




Burgundy


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 10:52 am
amother [ Bisque ] wrote:
There are many sefarim that make this claim that extraordinary things happen when we take on extra and go above and beyond. I think people are mocking it because it's toilet paper.


Being makpid on halacha is already a huge thing for most people. Halevai that we would do everything correctly at its bottom line. I've seen many stories of people being more scrupulous in actually following halacha, and that's great. It's very problematic to take on a chumra beyond the halacha without asking a rav. If there's a source for the general public, great, go for it. If you're doing it on your own cheshbon you're doing something risky.
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amother




Salmon


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 10:53 am
This is my second pesach married. Last year I read the OU pesach guide, and it pretty much lined up with what my family always did. In seminary I had learned about people being machmir about non-edibles for various reasons, so I knew it was a thing, but also that there were reliable rabbanim and minhagim that don’t check for a hechsher on paper plates.

Then my mil offered to buy us kosher for pesach lotion and I asked my husband if he’s machmir on those things and if I should be. He said if it’s good enough for the OU (and my family) he doesn't need more chumras, especially if they cost more.

It’s just funny because sometimes he’ll ask -wait, don’t we need special ___ that doesn’t have starch? And I’ll remind him the OU says it’s fine and that if he wants to get kosher for pesach ones anyway because that’s what his family does it’s fine. And then we buy the regular ones.

If it was really his father’s minhag he wouldn’t be so light about it, but he sees it more as different halachic opinions than something passed down through generations.
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amother




Lemon


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 10:54 am
Amother bisque, toilet paper isn't food or does not come in contact with food!!! It's no different than only using clothes, towels, chairs, toilets, baths..... with a hechsher!! Oh god!
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amother




Tan


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 10:55 am
ectomorph wrote:
Im sure she never asked a Rav- that's idiotic. Especially if he suffers.

She is probably abusive in other ways as well. Poor kid.


She is a wonderful mother in every other way. I know she hurts for a child because we talk about it. I told her to just give him the medicine. Her husband is a well respected rav, so she is boxed in.

I told her to deny him milk products and drink plenty of water. He should inhale steam. I don't know what else to do.
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renslet




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 10:58 am
And to be machmir with medicine just boggles my mind.
I grew up with my father as a Rav, some fascinating shaylos, like the two year old who would only eat white bread (who should own the bread on pesach) and loads more.
There are so many nuances, I once took a medication that was treife rather than one that was chometz, (never would have thought of that) because that's the Halacha.
Someone saw my father taking a medication that was not on the list ( so its pesach status was unknown) he asked my father if he had gotten it in another country maybe the USA or Israel and my father said "no, it wasn't checked but the Dr said that it's dangerous for me to go 8 days without taking it so I'm taking it)
However, the only wine that was available was strong sweet wine, he drank four cups and felt horrible. That's being machmir
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renslet




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 11:01 am
amother [ Tan ] wrote:
She is a wonderful mother in every other way. I know she hurts for a child because we talk about it. I told her to just give him the medicine. Her husband is a well respected rav, so she is boxed in.

I told her to deny him milk products and drink plenty of water. He should inhale steam. I don't know what else to do.


There's really no other brand/type that would be ok? Even if it's kitniyos? This is so sad
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ectomorph




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 11:08 am
amother [ Tan ] wrote:
She is a wonderful mother in every other way. I know she hurts for a child because we talk about it. I told her to just give him the medicine. Her husband is a well respected rav, so she is boxed in.

I told her to deny him milk products and drink plenty of water. He should inhale steam. I don't know what else to do.

He's mentally ill. She should sneak the medication. Tell him she insists on asking someond else the shayla.

No normal rabbi would say to withhold asthma medication on pesach!!! This sounds totally nuts.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 11:12 am
amother [ Tan ] wrote:
She is a wonderful mother in every other way. I know she hurts for a child because we talk about it. I told her to just give him the medicine. Her husband is a well respected rav, so she is boxed in.

I told her to deny him milk products and drink plenty of water. He should inhale steam. I don't know what else to do.


So her husband is abusive...
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amother




Tan


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 11:20 am
ectomorph wrote:
He's mentally ill. She should sneak the medication. Tell him she insists on asking someond else the shayla.

No normal rabbi would say to withhold asthma medication on pesach!!! This sounds totally nuts.


The other rav is her brother. No way would he go against her husband as they are close. No way would she ask.

This is the way they are brought up. They are generations of Rabbis. It troubles me, but I don't dismiss them as mentally ill.

You really have a nerve saying that the Rabbi is mentally ill because you don't agree. Can't you disagree without diagnosing him as mentally Ill?

Imagine if someone said that what you follow is mentally ill and totally nuts. I can think of TH sheilas off hand. Someone could say you are totally nuts and mentally ill to show your Rabbi your panty crouch.

How about a little respect for those that practice differently than you send no more diagnosis?
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ectomorph




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 11:24 am
amother [ Tan ] wrote:
The other rav is her brother. No way would he go against her husband as they are close. No way would she ask.

This is the way they are brought up. They are generations of Rabbis. It troubles me, but I don't dismiss them as mentally ill.

You really have a nerve saying that the Rabbi is mentally ill because you don't agree. Can't you disagree without diagnosing him as mentally Ill?

Imagine if someone said that what you follow is mentally ill and totally nuts. I can think of TH sheilas off hand. Someone could say you are totally nuts and mentally ill to show your Rabbi your panty crouch.

How about a little respect for those that practice differently than you send no more diagnosis?


Maybe you're mentally ill too.

Sorry, I have several family members who are practicing pulpit rabbis, and one who isn't But answers shaylas. I've heard a lot.

Diabetics are told to eat on yom kippur.

What you are describing - a child with asthma
Suffering for lack of access to medication on pesach -is beyond the pale.
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amother




Teal


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 11:25 am
thunderstorm wrote:
There's a story that my FIL told me (repeated from a shiur) that there was a Shabbos that a wife forgot to cook eggs to make "Ayer mit zviebel"- eggs and onions which is a minhag by people. He was furious with his wife and yelled and screamed at her asking her how she could forget such an important thing. The next time she forgot to cook eggs for Shabbos she realized Shabbos morning and panicked because she knew what her husband's reaction will be and she was dreading it. Out of pressure she went and cooked the eggs on Shabbos.
Moral of the story it's nice to be machmir as long as it's not on the cheshbon of others or that it doesn't take away from the actual Mitzvah at hand or Chas vshalom it doesn't lead to being oiver Halacha in any way. For example above . The chumrah of not allowing asthma medication is insane as it is over riding pekuach nefesh which takes precedent.


I used to lie about TH because I knew how much trouble I'd get into if I wasn't tahor when I was supposed to be.

At the time, I felt guilty.

After the divorce, I realized that my ex brought the kareis on himself.
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amother




Lemon


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 11:26 am
Amother Tan, a Rabbi that denies a child of asthma medication is MENTALLY ILL and AVUSIVE. If they were bought up this way, than mentall illness runs in their family.
Or the child doesn't really have asthma. Because if a child or any person, has an asthma attack and is denied medication, it can turn FATAL very fast. Some won't even make it to the hospital. So please don't tell me this Rabbi isn't abusive and mentally ill.
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singleagain




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 11:31 am
My mother just told me a story about a lady who didn't come into work one day and they found out she had an asthma attack the night before and died.

Also the pasuk says "chai bahem, v'lo yamut bahem" you should live by the mizvot and not die by them
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PinkFridge




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 11:35 am
amother [ Bisque ] wrote:
We all the time here storys about unbelievable nissim that happan to people that are machmir. Cutting a sheital even shorter even though it was already kasher is an example. I don't think we can make jokes about hakodosh baruch hus cheshbon with the unbelievable schar we can get for overcoming our yetzer hara.


The idea is finding ways to come close to Hashem. It can mean just doing what you're supposed to and doing it right. Yes, it can mean doing something more. Once you are taking on anything more, you should do it with a mentor.

Now there are people who have a mesorah for chumros and are doing it just like their parents. Gezunteheit. That's beautiful. They may need to find ways to get extra help, e.g. a h.s. kid to shell all those nuts, etc. because their lives are busier, with more people to care for, and more commitments outside the house.
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amother




Smokey


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 11:36 am
My DH has asthma and takes his meds anytime he needs.
I asked our Rav once re medication for my mom. Since we didn't know if there was Chamez in there he gave specific instructions on how to take it, need be.
Having a discussion between two Rabbis on a halachig issue should be more than normal and wanted.
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amother




Smokey


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 11:41 am
amother [ Lemon ] wrote:
Amother Tan, a Rabbi that denies a child of asthma medication is MENTALLY ILL and AVUSIVE. If they were bought up this way, than mentall illness runs in their family.
Or the child doesn't really have asthma. Because if a child or any person, has an asthma attack and is denied medication, it can turn FATAL very fast. Some won't even make it to the hospital. So please don't tell me this Rabbi isn't abusive and mentally ill.

Please don't insult mentally ill people.
Mentally ill people aren't out to harm others. They are good, smart and nice people. Most of them would be able to understand what it means to suffer and find a way to let the kid have his meds.
Some Rabanim have lost all conecction to real life. They live by the books in a world that does not exsist. Crying
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