Should I force her??

a1mom!

Sun, May 12 2019, 6:52 am

My 9 months old simply refuses to eat.
She likes feeding herself, so I tried doing the baby led weaning- which hasn't really worked.
Over yom tov she somehow seemed interested in eating- possibly because she saw everyone eating by the seudas. It worked for a week, but now I'm back to square one, she fights me every time I try bringing a spoon near her mouth.

I don't want to force her, as I dont want her to have negative connotations to eating. But on the otherhand she watches us eat and seems to want to eat, untill the spoon actually comes near her mouth. As well, I feel that she needs more food than just being nursed.
What would you do???

Thanks

amother

Wheat

Sun, May 12 2019, 7:33 am

If you forget about it and then try to reintroduce spoon feeding again in a few months, she might forget this battle and allow you to feed her. It sounds like a power struggle issue. I agree that she would feel better with more food in her tummy but since she can still thrive without it, I’d leave it for now.

Rachel Shira

Sun, May 12 2019, 7:40 am

I would continue with baby led weaning, which really just means giving them the opportunity to explore food. It takes some babies a while to actually eat or taste anything. Give her food in her high chair at times that you’re also eating, and see what happens over time. Above posters are correct that there’s no urgency but there is definitely value to having the exposure to food.

Teomima

Sun, May 12 2019, 9:49 am

I'm confused. If she likes feeding herself, what's the problem? Just give her age-appropriate finger food. I've had kids who refused to be spoon feed, but the moment they were old enough to steal a breadstick off the kiddish table (true story), they were fine. Cubed steamed veggies or fresh soft fruit (banana, avocado), crackers, scrambled eggs, Cheerios...all make for a perfectly fine and balanced diet for a 9mo (combined with breastmilk/formula).

ectomorph

Sun, May 12 2019, 9:54 am

No!!! Consult a feeding therapist if you must!

never force a baby to eat - you will teach the baby to dislike eating.

Having a child with ongoing feeding issues, several things you can do. ..

1. Sit down and eat in front of the child while child in high chair. Eventually child will be watching you eat. Give her some of what you're eating.

2. Only for an older child with other medical stuff... I found candy to be an excellent inducement to eating healthy food (1 spoonful of yogurt to 1 chocolate chip etc). As a temporary measure to jump start healthy eating this is very effective.

3. Serve meals as a group since your baby sounds like a social eater

4. Do everything self serve

nicole81

Sun, May 12 2019, 10:06 am

Why are you spoon feeding? Give the baby foods she can easily feed herself, and let her eat or not eat as much as she feels like. Some foods to give are bananas, cheerios/puffs, bamba, avocado, soup veggies, and basically small pieces of whatever foods you're eating that aren't too hard. My nursers basically ate everything except for dairy by that age and were self fed.

soap suds

Sun, May 12 2019, 11:37 am

watergirl wrote:

No!! Feeding infants under a year is just for “fun” as per every pediatrician I’ve ever gone to (lived in many cities). At this age, the most important thing is breast milk/formula. Ask your ped if you really want to know, by the way. Not us!

My pediatrician did recommend that I give my babies "real" food at about 7-8 months. Some babies don't get enough from just nursing. My babies were all a little underweight. OP, what makes you think your baby needs more? Is she gaining nicely? What does your pediatrician say?

mp5

Sun, May 12 2019, 1:09 pm

No, I would not force her.

I had the exact same problem with my youngest - he would actually get insulted if I offered him food, refused to eat and was not gaining weight. My very wise mother advised me not to make an issue of it, and believe me I understand how hard that it, especially when you see your child on the smallish side and you KNOW they need more than what they are getting.

But forcing her will not get her to eat better, it will only make the problem worse so any small so-called victory is really a huge loss in the battle.

My advice is, don't give up on feeding her but don't let it become an issue.

What I did was to distract my son when I fed him, keep him happy with a game or toy or just silly faces, and when he laughed quickly put some calorie-loaded food in his mouth, then distract him again so he didn't notice it. When he got a bit older I let him watch cartoons on the computer, something I generally avoid at such a young age but it did the job of helping get some food into him so well worth it.

I remember when he was about a year old and discovered dreidles, he would laugh whenever I spun one on his high-chair tray. He laughed = I could put another spoonful in his mouth without his notice, so I ran out and bought every type of dreidle I could find in the nearby store so I could keep him interested and distracted enough to eat :-) .

It was a TON of work, every meal of every day, and again I know the worry that you are feeling, but in the end I think it's the only way to do it.
By the way, my son is eleven now and he loves to eat. No trauma there b'H.

Hugs and Hatzlacha with your huge challenge!

thunderstorm

Sun, May 12 2019, 1:38 pm

My baby was in the middle of me spoon feeding her a yogurt today. As soon as she saw DH eating an omelet she pushed the spoon away and enjoyed part of DHs omelette. When he was done she was willing to be spoon fed the yogurt again. Give your baby finger food. That's what my baby prefers. She also thinks she needs to eat when everyone else eats. But like others said, the pediatrician said all this food is for fun. Her main nutrition is the breastfeeding or formula.

FranticFrummie

Sun, May 12 2019, 2:41 pm

DD never had to be spoon fed. She preferred to use her fingers, and eventually learn how to stab things with a fork. Spoons came much later on. She never saw a single jar of baby food.

When she turned about 5, she suddenly became a picky eater, and we had a power struggle on our hands. I finally caved and let her watch videos while she ate. She would clean her entire plate without even noticing. (Which is why we eat too much if we're in front of the TV Very Happy

) I could sneak all kinds of healthy things into her, as long as she was distracted by a show.

Chana Miriam S

Sun, May 12 2019, 4:49 pm

a1mom! wrote:

Force is not a word that should be used with regard to food ever. The American paediatric society suggests that breast milk or formula be the primary food of infants that age. Food is experiential. Don’t break the baby.

notshanarishona

Sun, May 12 2019, 5:31 pm

My daughter refused to eat even when she was a year and also would not take bottles and we were desperate to get her to start solids so I could go back to work, the only way we succeeded was in the bath. She was probably the cleanest baby around, but somehow that got her calm enough and distracted enough to forget to refuse, lol.

Tzutzie

Sun, May 12 2019, 8:33 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

This. And in the summer in the pool.

My 4 yo was a terrible Nurser. She didn't nurse long enough and latch on well enough to stimulate enough milk. And so she was always hungry and cranky.
Refused formula or any bottle really. I didn't have any milk to pump, I tried a few. Even juice (I was THAT desparate to get anything anything anything into her.) At just over 4.5 months, the PED recommended I try watered down fortified baby rice cereal. She liked the spoon but as soon as there was something of taste in her mouth, she would close her lips and make a "buh" sound and it went all over everything and everyone.....
She's 4 now, still a small eater and pretty thin/narrow built. But by she's growing bh and of average height.

I'm just sharing all of this to show, I get you, but please don't force a child to eat. They do grow up eventually. And they do learn to eat.

Btw, this child is a very healthy eater, (though small eater) her favorite foods are veggy soups, chicken natural cheeses and real 100% ww bread (not the junky kind).....