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G.O. Head and "Jobs" in Lakewood high-schools - Favoritism??
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amother




OP


Post  Tue, May 21 2019, 6:12 pm
My daughter attends one of the oldest girls' schools in Lakewood, so I'm hoping other schools have a more progressive approach to selecting the best "jobs." But I don't understand why students vote for GO president, etc, which makes these jobs a popularity contest. Every year the same type of girl is selected:. Very assertive, confident, cool, enthusiast. Never a more serious, creative type. The quieter, sincere girl with so much talent and skills to offer, will just sit admiring the most popular crew, feeling like she's never enough. Why can't new heads be selected monthly by staff, to reward girls who follow school rules and have alot to offer, an open up the opportunity to lots of types of girls, not just not the most charismatic?
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groisamomma




 
 
 


Post  Tue, May 21 2019, 6:18 pm
If you're talking about [name of school removed], even the teachers I spoke to complained about it. I also discussed it recently with some of the more vocal, popular girls that keep getting Dance Head and other jobs and they openly admit that [name of school removed] doesn't give anyone else a chance. They keep chewing the same girls over year after year. Oldest story in the book. No, I'm not removing the school's name. From my research this year I've learned that yes, the newer schools are more innovative and actually put in effort to make sure other girls have a chance to shine, too. (Not sure about BY because that one I didn't discuss with anyone.)

Last edited by groisamomma on Tue, May 21 2019, 6:19 pm; edited 1 time in total
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thunderstorm




 
 
 


Post  Tue, May 21 2019, 6:18 pm
An age old question. And not exclusive to Lakewood. This was my experience back in the day in Brooklyn. I was a great student but never had the chance or ability to show my talents. I was actually G.O. President in my small elementary school and had a shock when I realized that the way things worked in highschool was a popularity contest and favoritism.
What helped me get over it was going to a camp that was a completely different crowd than school. Nobody knew me from before and I had the opportunity to grow and to shine and even surprise myself with my abilities and talents and it's something I cherish to this day. This is an area where my highschool did not aclnowledge a girl for WHO she was but what she looked like and her charisma.
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amother




Natural


Post  Tue, May 21 2019, 6:21 pm
Why?
Why are sport figures given (by the general public) hero and role models status rather than it being given to teachers?
Why are actors paid a bazillion times more than biomedical researchers?
Why?
Why?
Why?
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groisamomma




 
 
 


Post  Tue, May 21 2019, 6:30 pm
amother [ Natural ] wrote:
Why?
Why are sport figures given (by the general public) hero and role models status rather than it being given to teachers?
Why are actors paid a bazillion times more than biomedical researchers?
Why?
Why?
Why?


Why do people in charge of high schools get to play around with our kids' lives while we watch helplessly?

Why anything?
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amother




Bronze


Post  Tue, May 21 2019, 6:34 pm
This is certainly the case in Brooklyn. I've come to realize that nepotism, money, "popularity," and yichus all speak volumes in all circles and societies - Jewish or otherwise.

Last edited by amother on Mon, Jul 08 2019, 11:51 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Royalblue


Post  Tue, May 21 2019, 7:32 pm
I find this to be the case in most schools, NY area and OOT. The schools tend to choose girls who they have reason to believe will be able to lead, including evidence that other girls will listen to them/regard them well. It's an issue. Some schools will take a more social girl and a less social or less obvious girl wth whom she gets along and pair them together to run something, which benefits everyone.
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Mommyg8




 
 
 


Post  Tue, May 21 2019, 7:36 pm
groisamomma wrote:
Why do people in charge of high schools get to play around with our kids' lives while we watch helplessly?

Why anything?


Why do we have to treat teenagers differently than they will be treated as adults? It's part of life that the more charismatic and well connected get the plum jobs. That's just how life is.
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amother




Dodgerblue


Post  Tue, May 21 2019, 7:44 pm
Mommyg8 wrote:
Why do we have to treat teenagers differently than they will be treated as adults? It's part of life that the more charismatic and well connected get the plum jobs. That's just how life is.


Nope, this is really, really not true. I can give you a long list of classmates who were "nobody" in high school and are well respected in their professional careers today. And they didn't become more charismatic or well connected in the interim. The world at large respects and rewards many more individual traits than high school teachers do.
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amother




OP


Post  Tue, May 21 2019, 7:52 pm
amother [ Dodgerblue ] wrote:
Nope, this is really, really not true. I can give you a long list of classmates who were "nobody" in high school and are well respected in their professional careers today. And they didn't become more charismatic or well connected in the interim. The world at large respects and rewards many more individual traits than high school teachers do.


Yup, and highschool is a time of life when a child is being built to weather the storms of adulthood. They don't need storms bashing their self esteem before then! Just ridiculous to teach them their not good enough if they aren't Mrs. Popularity Contest Winner.
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amother




Mistyrose


Post  Tue, May 21 2019, 7:52 pm
amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:
I find this to be the case in most schools, NY area and OOT. The schools tend to choose girls who they have reason to believe will be able to lead, including evidence that other girls will listen to them/regard them well. It's an issue. Some schools will take a more social girl and a less social or less obvious girl wth whom she gets along and pair them together to run something, which benefits everyone.


It's way less of a problem in the smaller oot schools. I was G.O. my senior year of high school. If I lived in town there is no way I would have been chosen. Oot it's much more likely everyone is happy with their jobs because there are just less people to make happy. Everyone in my class got the job they wanted for the most part.
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Mommyg8




 
 
 


Post  Tue, May 21 2019, 7:58 pm
amother [ Dodgerblue ] wrote:
Nope, this is really, really not true. I can give you a long list of classmates who were "nobody" in high school and are well respected in their professional careers today. And they didn't become more charismatic or well connected in the interim. The world at large respects and rewards many more individual traits than high school teachers do.


Ok, I don't have big girls. Just wondering out loud.
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amother




Violet


Post  Tue, May 21 2019, 8:00 pm
This goes on in every high school and camp. Even back in my high school and camo years, it was always the same girls and their sisters that got the major jobs. I was crying about the unfairness of it then already. The other girls aren't even given a chance. In high school when we got play jobs, we were told to choose between 2 jobs we wanted and we'd get one. Obviously many girls didn't get either one. I told the principal that this just proves my point that they give the top jobs to the same popular girls over and over and our opinions do not matter.
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amother




Dodgerblue


Post  Tue, May 21 2019, 8:18 pm
I've posted about this in the past, but I'll mention it again here. I can't even describe how deeply I was hurt by the head staff at my camp when I was finishing high school. The rejection was so callous and cruel, and looking back I can see that it was completely unwarranted. Teenagers are so sensitive, why do this to them right when they're forming their identities and beliefs about themselves?
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amother




Seagreen


Post  Tue, May 21 2019, 8:21 pm
I wrote a short story for Mishpacha a few years ago on this topic, and the feedback was intense - so many people were still hurting from the way their High Schools treated them when it came to "jobs" and I heard from many people within the school administration that they were trying to change the system...

It's sad to read that it's the same old same old....not that the cynic within me is too surprised.
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thunderstorm




 
 
 


Post  Tue, May 21 2019, 8:22 pm
amother [ Dodgerblue ] wrote:
I've posted about this in the past, but I'll mention it again here. I can't even describe how deeply I was hurt by the head staff at my camp when I was finishing high school. The rejection was so callous and cruel, and looking back I can see that it was completely unwarranted. Teenagers are so sensitive, why do this to them right when they're forming their identities and beliefs about themselves?

They are literally destroying some girls unfortunately . This is the ultimate opportunity to bring out the best in a girl and they just do away with it because of "protektzia"
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amother




Bronze


Post  Tue, May 21 2019, 8:26 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Yup, and highschool is a time of life when a child is being built to weather the storms of adulthood. They don't need storms bashing their self esteem before then! Just ridiculous to teach them their not good enough if they aren't Mrs. Popularity Contest Winner.


This was always my argument. When I came back from seminary, I wrote a respectful but strong letter to the head of extracurriculars at my school about the lack of opportunity for most girls within the school. I did not sign my name to it, but I left enough clues that someone could possibly figure it out. (I was pretty surprised how quickly she got it, actually.)

She took me seriously for about 5 minutes. Maybe I should make that point again when I see her, since she just called me to help her mark math Regents again this year.


Last edited by amother on Mon, Jul 08 2019, 11:44 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Bronze


Post  Tue, May 21 2019, 8:27 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
They are literally destroying some girls unfortunately . This is the ultimate opportunity to bring out the best in a girl and they just do away with it because of "protektzia"


Yep, 100%. It always seemed to me that the OOT schools were better at trying to include everyone and bring out the talents of the less popular or lesser-known girls.


Last edited by amother on Mon, Jul 08 2019, 11:44 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Violet


Post  Tue, May 21 2019, 8:28 pm
I always say that gehinnom has a separate section for principals, camp directors, administrators..... they get so full of it from authority that they forget that their job is to nurture and be a roll model for yiddisha neshamos.
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amother




Dodgerblue


Post  Tue, May 21 2019, 8:29 pm
amother [ Seagreen ] wrote:
I wrote a short story for Mishpacha a few years ago on this topic, and the feedback was intense - so many people were still hurting from the way their High Schools treated them when it came to "jobs" and I heard from many people within the school administration that they were trying to change the system...

It's sad to read that it's the same old same old....not that the cynic within me is too surprised.


Thank you! I remember reading that and feeling so validated.
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