 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
|
amother
Seafoam
|
 Tue, Jun 25 2019, 12:37 pm
| amother [ Yellow ] wrote: | | As someone with a special needs child in Lakewood, school is free and top notch. You can get a 5 bedroom townhouse for about $2k. And there are special programs that have afterschool and Sunday programs which are huge. |
Wow! In Brooklyn you can get a tiny two bedroom for 2k and a massive amount of tuition to pay. There you go OP you have your answer
| |
|
| Back to top |
 0
 5
|
|
amother
Cerulean
|
Tue, Jun 25 2019, 12:38 pm
Life is not easy and you seem to think that $50-500 is petty money but it isn’t every dollar adds up my husband puts money on peoples grocery bills and I’m far from rich but he always says we are not starving I just pay my bills if any of the people my husband was helping spoke like this I would be horrified.
Secondly maybe moving oot to a better community with cheaper living is what you need. It sounds like your in a rut but you don’t wanna get out of it either without being handed a monthly stipend
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
9
|
|
amother
Lemon
|
Tue, Jun 25 2019, 1:04 pm
OP, in Lakewood you can get a nice 3 bedroom apartment for under $1,000 as well as great services for your kids. Don't you get services, therapies, and school for free under medicaid? Do you get social security money for your kids? Do you or DH work?
Any organization you request help from will ask you what your plan is for long term. No organization (besides for masbia) will provide services forever.
I know you're scared of moving, but sometimes you need to take a risk for things to get better.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
10
|
watergirl
|
Tue, Jun 25 2019, 1:08 pm
| notshanarishona wrote: | It's not easy , I grew up oot and my special needs siblings went to public school and are not frum now.
Yes, a Jewish school is a luxury but it's a sacrifice that a lot of people make . Although oot cities are getting better with trying to integrate special needs children into the mainstream schools , it all depends on the type of needs , etc. |
Where did I say that OP should send her kids to public school? Do you think that NY is the only place with Jewish sped programs and sped schools? And where did I say anything about tuition? I think you are projecting onto my post big time. I said that there is excellent special education all over and NY is not the only place in the country who has what her kids need. True, many people have to send to public school because its the best thing for their kids. We have no idea what OP's situation is, what her kids need, etc. But we do know that their current situation is making everything worse. I would think that removing the immediate threat would be top priority.
Without knowing more about OP and her kids (and its none of my business), there is no way to know what kind of special education her kids need.
As for your siblings, I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure you know that there are all kinds of people in the world. Some go to the best yeshivas and have the best rabbeim their whole lives, come from the "best" families, and then decide not to be frum when they grow up. And some kids go through the public school system and come out ok, some come out better than ok, some come out stronger.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
|
amother
Cyan
|
Tue, Jun 25 2019, 1:14 pm
I have been at a point where I did not know where my next dollar was coming from. It does not matter why this happens- it is a horrible feeling. And in your case most of your income is going to whatever is needed for your children. I wish I could help, but the only thing I can give you is a bracha that Hashem should give you money and koach. 
| |
|
| Back to top |
3
17
|
|
amother
Puce
|
Tue, Jun 25 2019, 1:29 pm
| amother [ Yellow ] wrote: | | As someone with a special needs child in Lakewood, school is free and top notch. You can get a 5 bedroom townhouse for about $2k. And there are special programs that have afterschool and Sunday programs which are huge. |
And a 3 bedroom apt. for about $1250.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
2
|
|
amother
Lemon
|
Tue, Jun 25 2019, 1:37 pm
|
Amother puce, I know several people in Lakewood that pay under $1000 for a 3 bedroom apartment.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
5
|
out-of-towner
|
Tue, Jun 25 2019, 1:51 pm
| watergirl wrote: | Where did I say that OP should send her kids to public school? Do you think that NY is the only place with Jewish sped programs and sped schools? And where did I say anything about tuition? I think you are projecting onto my post big time. I said that there is excellent special education all over and NY is not the only place in the country who has what her kids need. True, many people have to send to public school because its the best thing for their kids. We have no idea what OP's situation is, what her kids need, etc. But we do know that their current situation is making everything worse. I would think that removing the immediate threat would be top priority.
Without knowing more about OP and her kids (and its none of my business), there is no way to know what kind of special education her kids need.
As for your siblings, I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure you know that there are all kinds of people in the world. Some go to the best yeshivas and have the best rabbeim their whole lives, come from the "best" families, and then decide not to be frum when they grow up. And some kids go through the public school system and come out ok, some come out better than ok, some come out stronger. |
I have a kid with specific needs and I have tried to move back out-of-town, and was told that I would not get the same services as I would if we stay in NY. I would love to move out of town (hence my SN, as both my husband and I are Southerners) but until my kid grows out of needing the therapy that he's getting, it's really not an option for me. So yes, some people are in fact not in a position to move out of the tristate area. Trust me, I've tried (and BH I'm doing okay financially and own a small but functional house in NY).
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
12
|
watergirl
|
Tue, Jun 25 2019, 1:55 pm
| out-of-towner wrote: | | I have a kid with specific needs and I have tried to move back out-of-town, and was told that I would not get the same services as I would if we stay in NY. I would love to move out of town (hence my SN, as both my husband and I are Southerners) but until my kid grows out of needing the therapy that he's getting, it's really not an option for me. So yes, some people are in fact not in a position to move out of the tristate area. Trust me, I've tried (and BH I'm doing okay financially and own a small but functional house in NY). |
Maybe this should be a spin off. But told by whom? Services are not the SAME (as in, not free and no SEIT), but they are there. Like I said, what do you think everyone else does who have children with special needs? They dont all move to NY!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
5
|
|
amother
Mistyrose
|
Tue, Jun 25 2019, 2:07 pm
|
I don't know about all but I know someone from my OOT community moved to NY for this reason and someone else considered it and didn't come to begin with.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
8
|
|
amother
Pewter
|
Tue, Jun 25 2019, 2:11 pm
Lakewood sounds like a great option based on the posters above.
I want to give another option as well -Toronto, Canada, has an absolute amazing frum school for special needs, from mild to extreme. I know families who have moved there from other cities & even countries just for the school.
OP, moving really does seem like your only good option...
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
yksraya
|
Tue, Jun 25 2019, 2:18 pm
Op, maybe you can try to get schooling and other programs/services you currently pay for for your SN kids free through govt programs. I know it can be hard to get approved. But there are askanim who can aid you to do that.
Also, can you try a campaign at chessed fund or go fund me. Maybe people will be willing to donate.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
|
amother
Amber
|
Tue, Jun 25 2019, 2:26 pm
| watergirl wrote: | | Maybe this should be a spin off. But told by whom? Services are not the SAME (as in, not free and no SEIT), but they are there. Like I said, what do you think everyone else does who have children with special needs? They dont all move to NY! |
How would it help op to move to a community where she needs to pay over 30k a year to fund each of her children's special education? I'm not aware of any communities outside of the NY/ NJ area where people have access to affordable Jewish special education. And certainly you won't find the same range of schooling options, which is likely what op needs with 4 SN children. NY/ NJ offers more free therapy than any other area of the country as well.
I live oot and people whose children have ongoing special needs very often move to NY/ NJ for this reason.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
12
|
groovy1224
|
Tue, Jun 25 2019, 2:29 pm
I hope this comes across as gently as I intend-
You (understandably) are coming off a little harsh. I can't say I blame you, but calling $100-$500 'insignificant' and 'thanks, but no thanks' to non-cash offers might possibly be rubbing some would-be-donors the wrong way. Again, you are going through a lot and are understandably frustrated and wrung out, but do your best to be gentle with your tone, as it will likely yield you better results.
While I was in college, I worked for a guy who I guess you'd call a g'vir. Very very wealthy, was CONSTANTLY being asked for money from organizations and individuals. I did his books for his business, and managed his personal financials too. I got to see first hand what they mean when they say more money more problems. Everyone who called was doing so because they were desperate, and many were quite outraged to be turned away, or to be given what they deemed to small a sum. Some were downright nasty. A definite fact, though, was that getting money for housing is the hardest, because it's a huge risk for an organization or individual to give out straight cash. The recipient always thinks: I just need $XXX to get me out of this hole and then I can take it from there, but in reality it's gone in an instant, and then the family often is back needing more. They didn't mean to be back in that position, they thought dad would be back on his feet, they didn't expect the car to break down,they got some unexpected hospital bills, they had to pay the electric company, the list unfortunately went on and on.
If you give a lump sum, what happens when it runs out? The family still has to pay rent when the money is up, and if they can't they're facing eviction. It's just not sustainable to keep paying the rent because there will always be more needy families that need help too.
Which is why, based on my observations, it's much easier to get donations of goods rather than money. You can get a gemach loan, but you have to have a co-signor to prove you will be able to pay it back.
If you at all can, try to rearrange the income you do have so that you can benefit from what people are offering and use the money for what you NEED but people aren't giving. If it's medical bills that are killing you, is it an option to drop a job to qualify for medicaid? Maybe the hit to your income would be offset by the insurance coverage. It's a hard, terrible, stressful, juggling act, and I wish for you that you will soon be on the other side of all this.
| |
|
| Back to top |
1
32
|
|
amother
Lemon
|
Tue, Jun 25 2019, 2:37 pm
|
OP, do your kids must go to jewish special needs schools?? More kids than not are in special government funded public school programs. It doesn't make sense to me that you habe special needs kids are you're not getting government services.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
7
|
|
amother
Pearl
|
Tue, Jun 25 2019, 2:40 pm
|
May Hashem rain upon you Bracha and Hatzlacha
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
28
|
watergirl
|
Tue, Jun 25 2019, 2:41 pm
| amother [ Amber ] wrote: | How would it help op to move to a community where she needs to pay over 30k a year to fund each of her children's special education? I'm not aware of any communities outside of the NY/ NJ area where people have access to affordable Jewish special education. And certainly you won't find the same range of schooling options, which is likely what op needs with 4 SN children. NY/ NJ offers more free therapy than any other area of the country as well.
I live oot and people whose children have ongoing special needs very often move to NY/ NJ for this reason. |
The same way everyone else pays for their kid's special services everywhere else in the country. Apply for grants, have the local district "tuition you out" to the private option (if applicable), etc. One of our children needed a special ed school that was 40k a year and we paid around 7k. You do what you have to do.
Again, without knowing her situation (and its not my business), no one knows what kind of education her kids need.
If OP is saying that she cant pay for her daily needs, something has to give. So its a suggestion, and she can take it or leave it.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
Stars
|
Tue, Jun 25 2019, 2:41 pm
|
To everyone suggesting they move, who says op will be able to get a job? And if she has any family support where she lives that's huge.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
10
|
out-of-towner
|
Tue, Jun 25 2019, 3:24 pm
| watergirl wrote: | | Maybe this should be a spin off. But told by whom? Services are not the SAME (as in, not free and no SEIT), but they are there. Like I said, what do you think everyone else does who have children with special needs? They dont all move to NY! |
Many do move to NY for this reason alone. My son gets over 6 sessions of therapy a WEEK. Out of the tristate area I would be paying out of pocket for it or he would go to public school and get it there. And my son's needs are minor in comparison to others.
My daughter gets state funded resource room for many hours a week to help her academically. A lot of this simply doesn't exist out of NY. If OPs financial state is in a bad place because of her kids needs, moving out of NY is not a smart idea.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
8
|
| Related Topics |
Replies |
Last Post |
|
|
[ Poll ] Project Chesed!
|
11 |
Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:07 pm  |
|
|
Chesed apartment in Midwood
|
1 |
Mon, Feb 19 2024, 1:41 pm |
|
|
Anyone know of Chesed rides from Lakewood to Columbia?
|
7 |
Sat, Jan 20 2024, 9:29 pm |
|
|
Small Job/ Chesed Opportunities
|
11 |
Wed, Nov 15 2023, 4:14 pm |
|
|
Chesed opportunities in Lakewood how to find
|
3 |
Sun, Oct 29 2023, 11:37 am |
|
|
Imamother may earn commission when you use our links to make a purchase.
© 2024 Imamother.com - All rights reserved
|  |
 |
|
 |
|
|
gs.