Family of 5 in one bedroom

amother

Linen

Mon, Jul 01 2019, 1:21 pm

Ectomorph, you are making a lot of assumptions about the posters disagreeing with you on this thread. Not one thing you mentioned would apply to me. Not one.

amother

Mistyrose

Mon, Jul 01 2019, 1:28 pm

Heidi- I think my parents lost a “piece” of their minds along with their peace of mind by raising so many bouncing off the wall children in such a tiny cramped space. I also think it wasnt great for their shalom bayis. It was not an easy way to live.

icebreaker

Mon, Jul 01 2019, 1:29 pm

I would do everything you can to maximize space. I didn't read the thread so I'm not sure how old your kids are, but definitely invest in bunk beds. You can store things underneath them. Space saver bags work wonders! Keep areas as tidy as possible. Get your kids to pick up after themselves. If they want to play with another toy, they have to put away a toy. You may not have the money, but if you can, for the things you want to keep but want to free up space, a storage unit may come in handy.

amother

Lemon

Mon, Jul 01 2019, 1:32 pm

Poster above said something along the lines I wanted to comment on

There has to be great shalom bayis for more challenging things to work out. Honestly, you can live in an oversized mansion but if there is no shalom bayis then you are raising miserable kids.

GreenEyes26

Mon, Jul 01 2019, 1:33 pm

ectomorph wrote:

This site is all about reducing physicality as long as it's limited to bugaboos and not actually reducing expensive by living in a smaller apartment

There is a big difference between excessive materialism and unacceptable living conditions.

amother

Mistyrose

Mon, Jul 01 2019, 1:35 pm

amother [ Lemon ] wrote:

And you can have wonderful sholom bayis and have a hard time raising children in cramped quarters

GreenEyes26

Mon, Jul 01 2019, 1:41 pm

Oh and just to add, OP, now that you’ve clarified you don’t pay rent on your apartment (so it really seems you won’t be able move to a better living situation anytime soon)....I wouldn’t do this to your family. It sounds like a disaster in the making. But at the end of the day, it’s up to you. But I wouldn’t choose to knowingly put another child - and myself - into an unfair living situation.

amother

Maroon

Mon, Jul 01 2019, 1:42 pm

OP, I know that your mind is set on having another baby. But please please realize that many of the people who are disagreeing with you have lived through similar situations and experienced first hand the hardship and trauma that come with living in a crowded apartment. As far as I can tell, none of your “cheerleaders” have ever personally lived in a one-bedroom with 4 or more teens. And yes, there’s a BIG difference between having one bedroom and two bedrooms.

amother

Babyblue

Mon, Jul 01 2019, 1:42 pm

aricelli wrote:

When I lived in a one bedroom we were able to divide it in two. (We divided one recently with a temporary wall that looks like a real wall)
Also- my friend in a small apartment put her dining room set into storage and put couches there instead for more living space. After a while she divided that into two and turned it into a living room and bedroom.

Aricelli, where do you get a temporary wall? I'm in a two bedroom with 3 kids, and would love to split my baby room in two, iy"H once I have a fourth. I know I could do a real wall, but would rather go with a temporary one (which doesn't need a permit to build)

ectomorph

Mon, Jul 01 2019, 1:53 pm

Oh please. In Israel people do 10 kids all the time. This woman only wants 4.

And I refused to share about my personal life but if you can consider that I shared a bed at one point I certainly have experience in the matter.

And frankly my experience was very positive and so is that of most of my friends.

pesek zman

Mon, Jul 01 2019, 1:56 pm

amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:

There are tons of companies in Manhattan who do this. Pressurized walls are used all the time to crest bedrooms out of corners of living or dining areas or to split a bedroom.

aricelli

Mon, Jul 01 2019, 2:10 pm

Yes- we used a company that does pressurized walls. Found them online- had nice reviews- took a gamble and was so happy! Took a few hours. No mess. They even paint the wall for you.
They made a nice pocket door- no room for regular door. Wasnt cheap but was way cheaper than moving! And now my little boy has his own private (albeit tiny) space!

amother

Brunette

Mon, Jul 01 2019, 2:11 pm

ectomorph wrote:

If you want to live like an Israeli in Israel, that's all well and good (though I will dispute you that it's a common occurrence to have ten kids in a one bedroom apartment in Israel. It is not common). You can't live like an Israeli when you're an anomaly among the community you're raising your kids in.

aricelli

Mon, Jul 01 2019, 2:15 pm

aricelli wrote:

Btw- it looks just like a regular wall but I will need them to come take it down if I ever dont need it any more. They have lots of nice options- different windows/ doors, any shape etc

pesek zman

Mon, Jul 01 2019, 2:16 pm

Come to manhattan!!! Among all the rich families are families holding on for as long as we can! More of something means less of something else: in my case more space would mean less time (longer commute) and less money (higher expensive) Moving out of the area would mean more space, more money but (much less) contact with family, less culture, less diversity: all of which I think are important. Life is all about give and take

amother

Babyblue

Mon, Jul 01 2019, 2:16 pm

aricelli wrote:

Btw- it looks just like a regular wall but I will need them to come take it down if I ever dont need it any more. They have lots of nice options- different windows/ doors, any shape etc

Can you give me their info (link?)
And how much does a wall cost? (Is it more than a regular wall?)

amother

Ruby

Mon, Jul 01 2019, 2:26 pm

when I was growing up, we had close family friends that lived in a 1 bedroom. 5 people. The kids shared the bedroom (2 boys and 1 girl. They had bunk beds) I even slept over once and did not find it uncomfortable or crowded.

the parents slept in between the kitchen and living room on a pull out bed with an accordion mechitza thing around them (during the day the bed was a nice looking couch with decorative pillows)

they stayed there until the kids got married

I think the wise person is the one who stays within his/her financial needs. bhatzlacha OP!

amother

Linen

Mon, Jul 01 2019, 2:33 pm

3 siblings in 1 room is nothing remotely like the experiences many posters here were referencing.
But even so...would you be ok sending your daughter to a sleepover at a friend's house who has a teenage brother sleeping in the same room? How old were you all when you had that sleepover. I'm betting quite young.

Israeli_C

Mon, Jul 01 2019, 2:38 pm

Tbh I think that if you want another baby and time is limited, you should go for it. Excuse me for being a little morbid, but how I look at it- nobody lies on their death bed wishing they had brought less kids into the world so that they'd have had an easier life.

pesek zman

Mon, Jul 01 2019, 2:39 pm

amother [ Linen ] wrote:

No but why do you think they’ll invite you? They’re not oblivious ! We go out for meals to families much more often than we host families: we just don’t have the floor space for kids to play so we don’t invite. It is what it is. (We do adult guests though all the time since they sit at the table rather than play on the floor)

Last edited by pesek zman on Mon, Jul 01 2019, 2:40 pm; edited 1 time in total