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Where will we make our bar mitzva? (Rant!!!)
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amother




Teal


Post  Tue, Jul 16 2019, 10:32 am
Op/ you CANT do a shabbos instead of during the week because your shul is too far!!!
Make a small kiddush either in shul or your house on shabbos. Very small...
Then plan something for during the week so people from far and near can participate.
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amother




OP


Post  Tue, Jul 16 2019, 10:39 am
amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:
You are right - I didn't understand.

So what you are saying is - you either have to find your family places to stay in your neighborhood - or in the neighborhood one over. Got it.

Why don't you go for half and half? Some family closer to you - some closer to the shul. A mile really isn't terrible.

I’m going to put my parents and in laws closer, and then work my way backwards. I forgot I have one family member who lives near the shul, so I can put a family at his place. We also have two cousins who live close to the shul, from my husbands side, so I can put family by them. Everyone else will just have to go where I can find space. Many people who live close to the shul don’t have space for families with 5+ kids, and we have quite a few of those, BH. Anyone who doesn’t want to do the walk is welcome not to come. All I can say is BH it’s not a summer bar mitzva, the weather should actually be quite nice. I can’t imagine people will not come because of the walk, as we’ve gone to their smachot and have had to do long walks as well.
I’d like to thank everyone for helping me out here. I was really upset last night, but I’ve thought about it and realized that it makes the most sense to make everything there, because that is really my husbands place. Now that I have “spoken” about everything, I am seeing that it’s not so bad. I will leave my fancy clothes in the and will drop my sheitel off there after the meal as well. I will have snacks, toys, and books in the basement of the shul, for kids to play with. I will have one or two older nieces stay at my house, to help my kids get ready and walk them to shul in the morning.
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tichellady




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jul 16 2019, 10:39 am
What does your husband propose? Ask him how he imagines this all working
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amother




OP


Post  Tue, Jul 16 2019, 10:41 am
amother [ Teal ] wrote:
Op/ you CANT do a shabbos instead of during the week because your shul is too far!!!
Make a small kiddush either in shul or your house on shabbos. Very small...
Then plan something for during the week so people from far and near can participate.

20-30 minutes is not too far, and anyone who feels that it is doesn’t have to come. Hopefully I will be able to find plenty of accommodations closer, but if not, it is what it is.
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amother




Burgundy


Post  Tue, Jul 16 2019, 10:44 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I’m going to put my parents and in laws closer, and then work my way backwards. I forgot I have one family member who lives near the shul, so I can put a family at his place. We also have two cousins who live close to the shul, from my husbands side, so I can put family by them. Everyone else will just have to go where I can find space. Many people who live close to the shul don’t have space for families with 5+ kids, and we have quite a few of those, BH. Anyone who doesn’t want to do the walk is welcome not to come. All I can say is BH it’s not a summer bar mitzva, the weather should actually be quite nice. I can’t imagine people will not come because of the walk, as we’ve gone to their smachot and have had to do long walks as well.
I’d like to thank everyone for helping me out here. I was really upset last night, but I’ve thought about it and realized that it makes the most sense to make everything there, because that is really my husbands place. Now that I have “spoken” about everything, I am seeing that it’s not so bad. I will leave my fancy clothes in the and will drop my sheitel off there after the meal as well. I will have snacks, toys, and books in the basement of the shul, for kids to play with. I will have one or two older nieces stay at my house, to help my kids get ready and walk them to shul in the morning.


sounds perfect.
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amother




OP


Post  Tue, Jul 16 2019, 10:48 am
amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:
sounds perfect.

Thank you :-) I have another son, who was born two weeks after pesach, but because he wasn’t born ON pesach, I have no idea when pesach ends that year. (Of course, I’m going to look it up right now!! Watch, it’ll be something similar to this, and then I’ll have to go through this all over again)
Now I just have to confirm with my husband that he is ok with making the bar mitzva a week after pesach, as opposed to the shabbos right after (not that I am going to give him a choice, that one I will fight for- I don’t care what others do, I can’t make a bar mitzva the day after pesach) and then I can book the hall and caterer.
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amother




OP


Post  Tue, Jul 16 2019, 11:07 am
FYI, just looked it up. Pesach 2025 (that’s my next bar mitzva) starts and ends on Saturday night (April 12-April 19)
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yerushamama




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jul 16 2019, 12:09 pm
Sounds like you've got a lot of it figured out! Just one thing - ask people to let you know if they might be able to find their own accommodations - they may know people near the shul that you might not think of asking. Hatzlacha with the preparations, and an early mazel tov!
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amother




OP


Post  Tue, Jul 16 2019, 12:10 pm
yerushamama wrote:
Sounds like you've got a lot of it figured out! Just one thing - ask people to let you know if they might be able to find their own accommodations - they may know people near the shul that you might not think of asking. Hatzlacha with the preparations, and an early mazel tov!

Good idea, thank you!!! And thank you :-)
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