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Where a Yeshivish family should move from Israel to USA?
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amother




Mauve
 

Post  Wed, Jul 17 2019, 12:06 pm
Chayalle wrote:
I feel like I'm having an identity crisis reading this, because I live in Lakewood, and while I agree that it is IN TOWN, there are lots of people, like myself, who are not part of any rat race.

Headbands, for real? (My DD hates headbands and wears no hair accessories at all. Braids, sometimes, if Mommy has time or her big sisters do it for her.) More like last year's sales clothes, shoes from sales, etc...and she is just fine socially, and has no issues with it.

I'm sorry you feel so much pressure Forestgreen. I actually find my DD's school to be very accommodating of her individuality.


Her comment definitely sounded extreme but I think feeling part of the rat race is almost inevitable for people 20-30. (I'm not calling you old!) I grew up somewhere where we basically only shopped in childrens place outlet and carters was soo expensive lol. But even if I don't feel a major pressure to have a doona (well I try not to anyways) I still wouldn't be caught dead dressing my daughter in things that my neighbors at home do.

And just to keep pushing Baltimore, OP, it does sound like the best fit.
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Rubber Ducky




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jul 17 2019, 12:12 pm
Baltimore has many families who come close to what you're describing.
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amother




Puce
 

Post  Wed, Jul 17 2019, 12:16 pm
When you find a utopian place to live let me know
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DrMom




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jul 17 2019, 12:25 pm
salt wrote:
Nothing has to sink in. You just have to pass the exams.
I studied math to a very high level in the UK, and currently work in a science related field, and I have never had to use any of the math that I studied (trig, algebra, geometry etc) in my 'real' life. It was all just a stepping stone to the next degree of studies. So if you can do that quickly, why not.

Oh I take it back, there one thing I use my knowledge of high school math for - that's to help my high-school girls with their homework.

LOL

To be honest, I would summarize it as such - the bright kids can catch up later in life in machon-lev type place. The not bright kids, wouldn't do math anyway.
Learning math from 1st grade slowly and gradually, as they do in non-yeshivish high schools, is good for the middle kids, admittedly there are many of them. So I would have to admit, there probably is some value in studying math all the way up, but once you do that, and you have to pass the exams, and study and get good grades, then your limudei kodesh takes a back seat. Not everything can be top priority.

Anyway, I don't think it's a reason to make Yerida. That's my bottom line.
(Please don't hug.
Just comment if you don't like)

I also work in a math/science-related field and use math quite regularly.

If you go on to major in a math-science related field, you will at least need math for the courses required to earn you degree. If all your HS math went in one ear and out the other as soon you passed your last test, you'll have a heck of a time in the subsequent physics, computer science, chemistry, engineering, or higher math classes required to understand the basics of your major.

I wouldn't want to drive over any bridge designed by a civil engineer who forgot HS math before he even started his freshman year of university.
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amother




Aqua
 

Post  Wed, Jul 17 2019, 12:36 pm
DrMom wrote:
I also work in a math/science-related field and use math quite regularly.

If you go on to major in a math-science related field, you will at least need math for the courses required to earn you degree. If all your HS math went in one ear and out the other as soon you passed your last test, you'll have a heck of a time in the subsequent physics, computer science, chemistry, engineering, or higher math classes required to understand the basics of your major.

I wouldn't want to drive over any bridge designed by a civil engineer who forgot HS math before he even started his freshman year of university.


It honestly depends. In my chemical engineering job, I used algebra sometimes. That's it. Computer programs do most of the math. So I guess I need some understanding of statistics to understand a p value or DOE, or some understanding of fluid dynamics, but I don't have to solve differential equations anymore. It depends on the job.


And to go back to ops point, I don't think there is a perfect school, community, etc. At lot of these things, your children will pick up on at home anyway. So if you are in a school a little to the left, mechanic your children. If you are in a school to the right, supplement English.
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amother




Royalblue
 

Post  Wed, Jul 17 2019, 12:45 pm
I think that's kind of oversimplification, really.
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amother




Aqua
 

Post  Wed, Jul 17 2019, 12:52 pm
Of course it is, but it's what many parents (myself included) do. Our haskafa doesn't match my community or school. So we make the best of it and I know many parents who also do that.
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amother




Royalblue
 

Post  Wed, Jul 17 2019, 1:58 pm
Yes and it that is the case, why be so specific about the community you want? Just live wherever.
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Ruchel




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jul 17 2019, 2:14 pm
amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:
Yes and it that is the case, why be so specific about the community you want? Just live wherever.


Not so simple including in chul
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amother




Royalblue
 

Post  Wed, Jul 17 2019, 2:16 pm
Obviously I don't feel that way, that was the point I was trying to make. I was responding to the poster above (aqua).
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amother




Aqua
 

Post  Wed, Jul 17 2019, 2:56 pm
I was replying to the idea that you can't find your exact haskafa and degree of secular studies that you want. I personally don't think you need everything in a school. The home counts for something as well. So if the school is close enough, you can supplement at home. I think Passaic or Baltimore may be good for op, but she's not going to find everything there. So supplement what you are not going to find. You don't need the whole community to be homogenous.
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amother




Chocolate
 

Post  Wed, Jul 17 2019, 3:10 pm
what about places like detroit, south bend, cincinnati...
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mha3484




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jul 17 2019, 3:14 pm
Personally, when making such a huge life change, I would be weary to go to a community that has one school and that is it. If its not a good fit for your kid, you find yourself needing to move again. Cleveland, Detroit, Baltimore, Chicago give you more wiggle room to find your place.
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amother




Royalblue
 

Post  Wed, Jul 17 2019, 3:45 pm
I live in Baltimore actually. It is probably the closest to what she is describing but I still think she is in for major culture shock. She is expecting a mix of the Israeli chareidi hashkafa+ the level of mo education+ not too much gashmius, but not too little gashmius+ no exposure to secular stuff. This simply does not exist anywhere in 2019.
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amother




Firebrick
 

Post  Wed, Jul 17 2019, 4:07 pm
mha3484 wrote:
Personally, when making such a huge life change, I would be weary to go to a community that has one school and that is it. If its not a good fit for your kid, you find yourself needing to move again. Cleveland, Detroit, Baltimore, Chicago give you more wiggle room to find your place.


This. Always choose a community with many options, if you are already making a choice about where to live and aren't limited by work/family.

Also remember that often different children need different frameworks. Never good to limit yourself.

Anyway, op, it sounds like you are doing well financially in Israel, and your children are doing well. I would first explore other options here. It seems like you've narrowed your life down to strict haredi circles, but in chul you are willing to explore different communities. You might want to do that here too.
I am not one to convince people to stay in Israel if they don't want to. If you had said you miss your family, or the culture, or the weather, I would say, go where you will be happy. But you say you are looking for a different type of community, which everyone here is telling you doesn't quite exist in the US either. So maybe look around here some more (chardal, for example? Or maybe some of the 'haredi moderni' aren't as bad as you think?)
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amother




Purple
 

Post  Wed, Jul 17 2019, 5:29 pm
Maybe chardalei yishuv
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amother




Bisque
 

Post  Wed, Jul 17 2019, 6:16 pm
I don’t know why people are making it sound like this doesn’t exist. Two schools come to mind:
Mir Yeshiva in Flatbush- definitely Charedi, decent standard of English that includes regents diploma (for those whose parents make secular subjects a priority.) The standard of gashmius there is pretty low, but anyone with more isn’t unusual.
It doesn’t sound like OP is looking for MO standard in secular subjects. I assume a regents diploma is good enough for her. (Def. Good enough for DH)

Another school is the Cheder in Monsey. (Elementary school) also Charedi, really solid English, with strict technology rules / only Jewish movies allowed, etc.

There are many more schools like the above. What OP is looking for is what I call “yeshivish balebatish”, or “balebatish yeshivish”. It’s a very common type.
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amother




Purple
 

Post  Wed, Jul 17 2019, 6:29 pm
Are there anymore TIDE communities?
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amother




Chocolate
 

Post  Wed, Jul 17 2019, 6:42 pm
I think Breuers still is but you don't get a house with a backyard there.
It didn't seem like there were others in America.
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amother




Mauve
 

Post  Wed, Jul 17 2019, 6:53 pm
amother [ Bisque ] wrote:
I don’t know why people are making it sound like this doesn’t exist. Two schools come to mind:
Mir Yeshiva in Flatbush- definitely Charedi, decent standard of English that includes regents diploma (for those whose parents make secular subjects a priority.) The standard of gashmius there is pretty low, but anyone with more isn’t unusual.
It doesn’t sound like OP is looking for MO standard in secular subjects. I assume a regents diploma is good enough for her. (Def. Good enough for DH)

Another school is the Cheder in Monsey. (Elementary school) also Charedi, really solid English, with strict technology rules / only Jewish movies allowed, etc.

There are many more schools like the above. What OP is looking for is what I call “yeshivish balebatish”, or “balebatish yeshivish”. It’s a very common type.


But it also sounds like she wants the hashkafah of the Yeshiva not to be into long term learning. That's where there's the clash.
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