Fast day | Imamother

amother

Crimson

Sun, Jul 21 2019, 7:25 am

amother [ Beige ] wrote:

Re "no point in women fasting":

The general definition of halacha is "understanding what Hashem wants us to do."

It seems that our Rav feels that the heter in halacha given for women not fasting applies to pretty much all women in our times. He feels that pushing regardless and fasting is likely to weaken our primary role as Akeres Habayis.

Thus "no point" in fasting, I.e. I am not making Hashem happy by fasting. Similar to an 8-year old that decides he wants to fast.

(I know that Rabbonim all have different opinions, and even among Chabad Rabbonim there are plenty of different opinions, but this is what my Rav said.)

I still don’t get it. Even if “pretty much all women” have a heter not to fast (which is certainly not accepted by everyone), why would that mean there is no point in fasting? Everyone seems to agree that women do not have to daven maariv. Does that mean that there is no point in a women davening three times a day? Everyone agrees that women are not required to daven with a minyan. Does that mean that there is no point in a woman going to Shul on Shabbos morning (or any other time)? Everyone agrees that women are exempt from performing mitzvos aseh she’hazman grama (lulav, shofar, sukkah, etc.). Do women get no mitzvah for performing them? Is there no point in a woman saying Krias Shema b’zmanah?

These kind of attitudes upset me. Certainly, if a woman is pregnant, nursing, sick, etc. or if fasting will interfere with her ability to care for her small children, she should get a heter not to fast (or go to Shul, daven maariv, etc.), but why should there be “no point” to healthy, adult women performing mitzvos, when they are able to do so?

PinkFridge

Sun, Jul 21 2019, 8:37 am

amother [ Pewter ] wrote:

How about teens?
Do you also not keep Shabbat because it interferes in your role as Akeres Habayis?
I know women within two years of childbirth are exempt from fasting. I know that when the fast is nidcheh you can should break your fast if you feel unwell.
I even know people who say the lesser fasts shouldn't be fasted today in the age of geula.
I don't understand how women can have a blanket exemption from halacha. Being Akeret Habayit is not halacha, just like you keep kosher and Shabbat etc and still perform your role as a Jewish woman you can fast and be a Jewish women. If you are ill or can't function because of the fast for sure there is room for leniency. But why shouldn't a 16 year old girl fast? Why shouldn't a 50 year old woman fast?

There's an established mesorah for women in certain communities not to fast. I'm not going to take this on.

Hey, what about gebrochts? From the chassidish view eating wet matzah is just as if even more horrific? Wink

May this be the last churban-related fast we ever have to fast, and may we see all the nissim of geulah, including chaveirim kol Yisroel. (One way to read birchas hachodesh. Sadly, more often than not, that seems to be the most logical way to read it.)

PinkFridge

Sun, Jul 21 2019, 8:43 am

amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:

I honestly wasn't planning to fast all day. I feel terrible when I fast and can't get out of bed. Not an option with kids.

Just woke up and we have a blackout.

I was planning to try to fast as long as I can. Not sure what to do now.

I'm not a rav nor do I play one on TV but call yours. In this weather, without a/c I would assume one would get a ready heter to drink.

amother

Brown

Sun, Jul 21 2019, 9:20 am

PinkFridge wrote:

There's an "established mesorah" among the Jews of Rome to have the mezuzah inside, rather than outside, the door. They were afraid of antisemites and so that's what they did. But it doesn't become minhag, and certainly not halacha. It's an incorrect practice. Just because something is done for a long time - and even when the reason makes sense - doesn't make it a mesorah. It's simply a long-standing mistake.

As far as gebrokts - if you think the two cases are similar, you don't really understand how minhag works. Even chassidim acknowledge that gebrokts isn't chametz. The analogy here would be people who end the fast according to the zman of Rabbenu Tam.

Again, every community is entitled to have some area where it doesn't measure up. Doesn't make the whole derech invalid.

amother

Slateblue

Sun, Jul 21 2019, 9:44 am

I live in a very hot climate (summers 90s to 100s) and I am 70 years old (no children around), nevertheless I am fasting. I always get up in the middle of the night before to eat and especially drink water. Then I go back to sleep. Over the years I've developed several tips and tricks for fasting. Usually I take KaliTzom right before the fast starts, but last Taanit Ester I forgot to do that and I still fasted OK BH. Also I try to sleep a lot during the day of the fast, and the rest of the time I keep myself busy with listening to shiurim.

Wishing everyone an easy and meaningful fast.

BatyaEsther

Sun, Jul 21 2019, 9:46 am

First of all, call your LOR. Just because something is popular on Imamother, does not make it appropriate for you.

Years when I have been pregnant or nursing a newborn (and I have been told different things when my daughter was 4 week old and completely dependent on me for nutrition and when the same baby was 13 months old and both ate food and nursed) I was told to eat a Ka'zayit at a minimum of 13 minutes apart. That was just shy of an oz of water / crackers.

Additionally, for those who pass the day by watching Netflix, can I suggest Operation Finale, Woman in Gold, Munich, or any other holocaust or antisemitic driven movie. (I am not recommending any in particular-I have actually not seen Operation Finale or Munich and I have no idea of it's or your Tzanuah level)
Last year I learned all about the holocaust in Northern Africa-I had no idea that there were camps there.

Wishing everyone a meaningful day.

Zehava

Sun, Jul 21 2019, 10:00 am

BatyaEsther wrote:

Last tisha bav I watched Schindler’s list. I usually avoid holocaust movies except for them.

amother

Puce

Sun, Jul 21 2019, 10:31 am

I am fasting. In my circles we generally fast. My youngest is almost three so no nursing anymore. Nh I am a pretty good faster. I put my air conditioning down to 68 for Thai weekend so my house is nice and cool. I am reading a book now while my kids watch a video (I went to the library on Friday to take out DVD s for today) I plan on reading, catching up on a project I need to do, and then going to my mother to hang out and pass time.

saralem

Sun, Jul 21 2019, 11:15 am

I am in my 60’s. Always fast the minor fast days ( and yes I always get up to eat and drink before the fast) I’m a pretty ok faster. Today I am not fasting because I am recovering from an illness and must eat and drink for the medication. We’re Chabad btw. Our dd’s also fasted, at least before marriage and pregnancy etc. Chabad girls 12 and over and women generally do fast.

amother

Ecru

Sun, Jul 21 2019, 11:19 am

BatyaEsther wrote:

I've never heard of doing shiurim on minor fast days, just the big ones. So interesting you were told that.

PinkFridge

Sun, Jul 21 2019, 11:48 am

amother [ Brown ] wrote:

You sound very erudite. I hope we hear your voice in general and under your sn too.
A few thoughts:
Yes to minhagim being mistakes, but not all minhagim I don't understand are.
As far as gebrochts: I guess some of the people I know make it seem tantamount to chametz Wink

I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with the words "don't measure up." To what?