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Dd supposed to be counselor in camp- had surgery...
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amother




OP


Post  Sun, Jul 21 2019, 2:30 pm
DD (18)had ankle surgery 2 weeks, ago- the doctor had made it sound like dd would be able to walk in time for camp, but wearing a boot. Well camp- she is supposed to be a counselor- is next week and doctor now say another 2 weeks of no weight on the foot at all. Doctor said she could go to camp- but I am not exactly sure the doctor understands what overnight camp is. DD says no way can she be a good counselor on crutches or knee scooter and the camp has lots of steps and gets muddy when it rains. Not even sure the bathrooms are big enough for her not to put her foot down. Aside from the fact that dd still has some pain especially at the end of the day.
dh and I had an argument over this and he said- fine do what you want... I hate that!! We emailed the camp right after the appt. to share what the doctor said and camp said they would make it work. DD worried about not being an effective counselor and the pain, I worry about the healing process and her falling and the camp is not ADA friendly... I asked the head counselor to call dd to discuss logistics- still waiting for that(dh just left for shul, so now would be a really good time!).
DD wants to back out of the whole thing- I say no way- maybe camp will let you come a week late once you are allowed to use that foot( I have no idea how painful that will be after not using her foot for 4 weeks.) But doctor gave the ok to it....
Not sure what I am asking for here- maybe validation to not force dd to go up to camp being on crutches and non weightbearing. At first I was like no big deal, but the more I think about her trying to manage(she has a hard enough time in our house) the more naseous/nervous I get about camp. I think if dd were gungho about it, I would not be so worried, but dd was a counselor there last year so she knows what to expect and the limitations she will have.
Ugh and I also hate having arguments with dh...
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jerusalem90




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Jul 21 2019, 2:38 pm
She's 18... Trust her judgement and support her.
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amother




Cobalt


Post  Sun, Jul 21 2019, 2:51 pm
She.Should.Not.Go.
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amother




Pewter


Post  Sun, Jul 21 2019, 2:55 pm
I had foot surgery and was not able to put my foot down for a while. I honestly think that anyone who hasn't BTDT cannot understand how challenging it is. You see a person on a scooter and think it looks easy. I challenge anyone to do one bathroom visit without putting one foot down! I can't even imagine how it can work in a camp.

Speaking from my own experience, I don't see how it can work.

Hatzlacha and refuah sheleima!
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amother




Floralwhite


Post  Sun, Jul 21 2019, 2:56 pm
What's the point of her going?
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animeme




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Jul 21 2019, 3:02 pm
I wouldn't send her. Just because she can put it down in two weeks doesn't mean she can use it normally. She may need PT, in addition to having pain. She will want to work back up to normal. This way she has a buffer month before her plans for next year. And if she is going to Israel, I would definitely want to have the time to work any medical issues through here.
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amother




OP


Post  Sun, Jul 21 2019, 3:05 pm
Thanks for the advice..wish the doctor would have flat out said no, but I think she felt bad...
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thunderstorm




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Jul 21 2019, 3:07 pm
I had foot surgery. It’s very typical for doctors to downplay the pain and the difficulty of recovery. If I were your daughter I wouldn’t go.
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amother




OP


Post  Sun, Jul 21 2019, 3:19 pm
Doctor said she could start walking in two eeeks, jusy realized she never told us how to start ealking..gonna give her a call tomorrow.

And hood good point..yes, showering and bathroom in camp with one foot I think would impossible..
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amother




Lawngreen


Post  Sun, Jul 21 2019, 4:07 pm
We're two years post ankle surgery. With PT twice weekly. Still in pain.
This is not a joke. You have to do EVERYTHING POSSIBLE that the ankle should heal properly.
She should NOT go to camp. She should take care of her ankle that needs to carry her for the next 100 years.
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Amarante




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Jul 21 2019, 4:44 pm
Why is this an issue? Am I missing something?

Your daughter certainly knows exactly what to expect if she goes to camp and exactly what her level of pain and lack of mobility are?

She is 18 which means that she is presumed to be able to make decisions about her life and work?

Why is your husband adamant about forcing her out of the house when she is sick?

And yes, my friends and I joke about doctors and their "procedures". When my father was being advised about open heart surgery, it was called a procedure. Very Happy And then he got breast cancer and needed a mastectomy which was also described as a procedure while I silently rolled my eyes in the doctor's office. He was shocked when he woke up with drainage tubes - considerable discomfort (aka pain) and needing the services of a caretaker to help with acts of daily life for awhile - he actually thought it was a "procedure" and was shocked that he had an operation.
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amother




OP


Post  Sun, Jul 21 2019, 4:50 pm
amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:
We're two years post ankle surgery. With PT twice weekly. Still in pain.
This is not a joke. You have to do EVERYTHING POSSIBLE that the ankle should heal properly.
She should NOT go to camp. She should take care of her ankle that needs to carry her for the next 100 years.

Thanks...
Dd just spoke with head counselir and saud they really still wsnt her and will accomodate her needs.
Now dd sooo conflicted,
-doesnt want to sit at home all summer,
-upset about the miscommunication with the doctor.
-Doesn't want to have her cocounselors to have extra work.
-doesn't want to be a burden
-afraid she will hurt herself
Now I want to go cry..
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bobeli




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Jul 21 2019, 4:55 pm
I will recommend to keep her home and make sure she does everything possible to heal correctly and completely. Yes is a shame to miss cam, but is worse to c"s to have issues with it later in life because she went to camp.
Is one of those things you look back in life and say I was young and naive.
My husband injured his knee and the dr said he needed surgery, don't worry the same day you walk out of the hospital and go home, I do hundreds of this procedures a year.
Well my dh talked to someone who actually had this surgery and he was told that you walk out in clutches, use for minimum 6 weeks, then comes physical therapy for a few months, etc.
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amother




Saddlebrown


Post  Sun, Jul 21 2019, 4:57 pm
From experience, she should not go. I was in camp on crutches but it wasn’t post surgery and it still was a mistake. That injury didn’t fully heal for years. Right now I’m also recovering from ankle surgery and just starting to weight bear as tolerated. It’s really hard. You don’t just go from non weight bearing to full weight bearing. It’s a process and I can’t imagine walking up and down muddy camp hills even though I pretty much gave up the crutches. Not to mention showering and using the bathroom! She needs to take care of herself.

ETA being serious about PT is an absolute must!!!! I was 16 and naive and still suffering 12 years later.
Show your husband my post.
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amother




Saddlebrown


Post  Sun, Jul 21 2019, 5:22 pm
I agree with Pewter that anyone who hasn’t BTDT can’t possibly understand how difficult it is. A once seriously injured ankle is never the same again. Proper rehabilitation is CRUCIAL!!!!!!!!!! You really really don’t want excess scar tissue buildup which can require an additional surgery down the road. I have so much regret. And a lot of frustration with the Dr who downplayed it. I daven that this surgery I just had will finally be the end of my ankle problems. I can go on and on about this topic.
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ra_mom




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Jul 21 2019, 6:05 pm
Call the camp yourself. Say you understand they still want her because they were counting on her but she is no condition to go at all. End of discussion. Politely back out but be firm.
Nothing to be torn about. This about you being there for dd. She's your priority, not the camp or their hurt feelings.
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amother




Blue


Post  Sun, Jul 21 2019, 6:11 pm
I fractured my fifth metatarsal - so way less than an ankle - and was on crutches for extra 2 weeks and boots another month than anticipated. I wore sneakers for months afterward including to my best friends wedding. Yes I was young and in Shana rishona, not a nerdy bubby, and I took it super seriously. For about a year afterward I still felt joint pain there in bad weather.
Dd will put too much stress on it in camp, even if she says she won't. And what kind of counselor will she be anyways. Let her stay home and miss out, sorry that's life.
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amother




OP


Post  Sun, Jul 21 2019, 6:26 pm
My bigget problem is why did the doctor give her an all clear- that is my first phone call in the morning!! Before the surgery the doctor also said not a problem for camp. I was so overwhelmed when we were in the office on Thursday I was not thinking straight- of course camp starts on Tuesday- I am so angry with myself for not being focused enough at the appointment!

I was hoping the head counselor would say don't come- but they seem to really want dd with whatever she can do...
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Sebastian




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Jul 21 2019, 6:28 pm
Dont send her
Her ankle is more important than camp. If she doesn't heal properly it can affect her for the rest of her life
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amother




Saddlebrown


Post  Sun, Jul 21 2019, 6:40 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My bigget problem is why did the doctor give her an all clear- that is my first phone call in the morning!! Before the surgery the doctor also said not a problem for camp. I was so overwhelmed when we were in the office on Thursday I was not thinking straight- of course camp starts on Tuesday- I am so angry with myself for not being focused enough at the appointment!

I was hoping the head counselor would say don't come- but they seem to really want dd with whatever she can do...


The dr probably feels bad for her so said it’s ok. He also possibly doesn’t understand what being a counselor in a frum sleep away camp entails. Doctors also tend to downplay how hard recovery is. Don’t send her. Finished. A summer in camp is not worth a life full of ankle problems!!!!!!! Don’t worry about the camp. They probably have a waiting list of girls willing to take her place. Buy her something special. Maybe encourage a new hobby like art/painting/sewing/learning a musical instrument. Just don’t send her to camp.
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