"Best things come in small packages" said to a tall person

amother

Blue

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 4:05 pm

As someone who’s 5 ft tall let me tell you I would love to be your height. I get “ how’s the weather down there or your closer to the ground you pick it up.

How about you answer “ at least I don’t have to kill my feet with high heels”

amother

Babypink

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 5:41 pm

rivkeyb wrote:

I'm 5"8 not tall, normal. Everyone is saying that I am I don't know why

brw I hate this subject

I

I'm 5'8 too. It's pretty tall in the Jewish world, where women (and men) tend to be on the shorter side of average.

The only time I felt "regular" was when I was in college, with non-Jews and a combination of religions, races, and nationalities.

ETA: I hate this subject too. If someone in my life were making obnoxious comments like that I would seriously lose it, and probably say something very offensive in return.

amother

Burgundy

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 6:01 pm

amother [ Babypink ] wrote:

Yup, in the Jewish world, being 5'8" or 5'9" you will definitely be one of the two tallest in your BY graduating class. But it is a normal height as far as average women of the world go...between 5' 5" and 5' 9" is average, shorter is more petite than average and taller is taller than average. But if you are over 5' 7" in the frum world there will be comments...

Hopefully this thread will open eyes that even though universally height is prized, that doesn't mean tall people are open to shaming. As someone else said, when commenting on someone else's looks, either a compliment, or nothing at all.

amother

Blonde

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 7:38 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I'm 5'9" and when I was growing up (and indeed when I was fully grown,) one of my aunts used to comment on my height as the first thing she said every time she saw me. She usually said "Haven't you stopped growing yet?" or "How ever much taller are you going to get?!" She would say that even when I was in my 20's.

She is a little shorter than average but not short enough that anyone would think anything of it, and her daughter is about 5'4" so around average.

On several occasions, after commenting on my height, she would turn to her daughter and say "all the best things come in small packages don't they?"

I haven't seen this aunt for a very long time although I have stayed in touch and spoken to her on the phone, but I am going to see her next week.

What would be a good way to reply if she starts with this line again, and more importantly, what should I say if she says it to my oldest daughter (who is tall and is the same age as her granddaughter who is not tall?)

sometimes short people feel bad that they are not tall, so they say these things to make themselves/daughter/grand daughter feel better. explain to your grand daughter privately that they say these things to make themselves feel better that they are short but it could be they really feel bad they are not tall.

jerusalem90

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 9:48 pm

amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:

I agree with you that tall people need sensitivity too, but disagree about you saying average height 5'5 to 5'9.

A quick Google search shows average American woman height is just under 5'4.

For Chinese women 5'2.

The tallest national average is Dutch, where the average woman is 5'6 and a half.

EsaEinai

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 9:58 pm

The grass is always greener on the other side. I’m 5’4. Perfectly average. My parents are both very tall and my daughters are taller than average. I wish I was taller! Taller women are beautiful. I would go with that comment someone suggested “I guess I’m the exception to the rule” and move on. Bh you were blessed with the gift of being taller. Enjoy it!!

DrMom

Thu, Jul 25 2019, 10:43 pm

amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:

Maybe in the former Yugoslavia, with some of the tallest women in the world, but in the US, the median height for female adults is between 5' 3" - 5' 4.

In the US, a 5' 8" woman is in the 95th percentile.

https://dqydj.com/height-perce.....omen/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/.....dwide

Metukah

Fri, Jul 26 2019, 2:19 am

I would take a spin on the 'I'm the exception to the rule' and tell her 'you must be the exception to the rule'.
You must be a very tolerant person. I would have retorted, and not very kindly, years ago.
In truth, I could tolerate ignoring it, but not when it would come to my child. You need to defend your child. Either warn her in advance 'hi aunt, can't wait to see you. Even though I love you, your abuse about my height really bothered me. Please don't subject my daughter to it.'
If you can't do it in advance then please defend your daughter if she does it. Otherwise, prepare your daughter in advance. I think the best way to do it is to tell your daughter that she may comment on her height because she's jealous.
I'm average height (5'5), but I always thought short people had it harder and tall people were lucky.
You learn new things every day.

amother

Pink

Fri, Jul 26 2019, 3:06 am

nchr wrote:

She's clearly jealous or her daughter is/was. There is no woman on this planet (probably not in the modern world) who wouldn't prefer to be 5'9 over 5'4 or even 5'5.

I disagree re: every woman on the planet. I am 5’1 but if given a choice to be taller, I would never voluntarily become 5’9.

nchr

Fri, Jul 26 2019, 4:19 am

amother [ Pink ] wrote:

I disagree re: every woman on the planet. I am 5’1 but if given a choice to be taller, I would never voluntarily become 5’9.

I find that really hard to believe. Maybe you're comfortable in your own skin, and there is nothing to be ashamed of for being short, but I am not going to believe that you really would prefer to be 5'1 than 5'9. Maybe if we were talking about 6'3, but not 5'9...

amother

Puce

Fri, Jul 26 2019, 4:23 am

Metukah wrote:

I'm 5'5 and if I could have surgery to make me taller. I would. DH is 6'1 and so I doubt our children will be short, but I've discussed it with our doctors and we will probably give them HGH because even if there is no hormonal imbalance, it can give you an extra 1 to 3 inches so of course I'd rather my son be 6'3 than a natural 6'0 or 5'8 instead of 5'5. Everyone in my family is tall and no one has ever complained, but short people complain all the time or say they are making peace with the situation. I even feel conscious at 5'5.

jerusalem90

Fri, Jul 26 2019, 4:27 am

nchr wrote:

She's clearly jealous or her daughter is/was. There is no woman on this planet (probably not in the modern world) who wouldn't prefer to be 5'9 over 5'4 or even 5'5.

I think it's the opposite straight hair/ curly hair thing for women. With hair most want the opposite, with height it seems most see an advantage to what they've got.