Realistic wigs are unfair.

amother

Maroon

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 10:52 am

amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:

Single women do not cover if they are not virgins. Do you know of even one woman like that??? (In response to the past replies.

In college I did. I had a friend who, to quote her, was "wild in HS" and was now BT and she was told by her Rav to cover her hair. She didn't wear a full wig, she wore a thick headband or hair topper / extension piece or baseball cap or some other large interesting thing on her head. People just assume it was a fashion statement.

BTW-I am not judging, or telling people what to do. Just repeating what I have heard. I am by no means an expert or a posek.

allthingsblue

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 10:57 am

amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:

Single women do not cover if they are not virgins. Do you know of even one woman like that??? (In response to the past replies).

Which is interesting, as there is such a big deal made about married womens' hair being ervah, but no rabbi expects a nonmarried nonvirgin to cover. And yes, there are many in the frum community, whether by choice or not.

I assume these single women cover due to thin hair or something. I dont think people expect it or notice, and even if they did, you expect all the women in the world to wera bad wigs to avoid this issue?

Cancer patients.

Pollyanna

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 1:38 pm

Gotta add that nothing to do with single girls though, realistic wigs are unfair to my Dh. And perhaps to yours too.

No, he doesn't stare, neither of us are the judging type, but many wigs nowadays are getting more and more strikingly beautiful and truly are an eye turner whether you can help it or not.

amother

Smokey

Sun, Aug 04 2019, 1:43 pm

I’m single and wear a wig bc crappy hair. Also wear pants. Also don’t really care abt married people or their husbands and pple around me mostly don’t realize it is a wig. Also I don’t understand this post.

amother

Puce

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 10:39 am

Pollyanna wrote:

No, I was not.
If you can't relate, move on. Your'e tone was very hurtful.

So is yours, to the people being told that somehow they have to make things "fair" for your husband.

SixOfWands

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 10:44 am

Pollyanna wrote:

Why are they "unfair" to your husband?

Its not like he's looking for a wife, and fooled by a natural-looking wig (why he wouldn't notice the ring on her finger, I've no clue).

And its not like he should be staring at women, married or single, like some kind of lech.

I'm so tired of the constant attack on women. Don't wear this, don't do that, some man might notice you! How about we tell the men to keep their eyes and hands to themselves, and we women will dress and act in a manner that is consistent with our interpretation of halacha.

amother

Lavender

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 11:16 am

amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:

Single women do not cover if they are not virgins.

We don’t hold like that in mainstream orthodoxy today.

In like Rashi’s time when the kiduushin “bethrothal” was separate, a woman covered before being married because she was already set apart for a specific man. This is just one example.

I like the hymen and hair comment. It’s true.

amother

Lavender

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 11:18 am

SixOfWands wrote:

Why are they "unfair" to your husband?

Its not like he's looking for a wife

Or doesn’t know that HE is married and shouldn’t be looking at anyone with any interest.

simba

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 11:27 am

This thread is so strange. OP, what type of single girls are you referring to (cancer patients, non-virgins, bad hair?) and why should married women’s sheitels look bad to protect their secret?

I’m not getting something.

Woman of Valor

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 11:59 am

And pretty people make others look ugly. Thin people make others look fat. Young people make older people look wrinkled. Does that mean young thin pretty people should try to look old ugly and fat? I mean, how does your post make sense?

amother

Maroon

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 12:09 pm

WindowMagic wrote:

No they should just stay in their homes eating cookies until they get old and fat naturally.

amother

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 12:14 pm

simba wrote:

and why should married women’s sheitels look bad to protect their secret?

Unrealistic =/= Bad.
The point of married women wearing a wig is to cover the hair. Why not get a pretty wig that doesn't look realistic instead of pretending to be not frum/not married?

simba

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 12:26 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Unrealistic =/= Bad.
The point of married women wearing a wig is to cover the hair. Why not get a pretty wig that doesn't look realistic instead of pretending to be not frum/not married?

People who wear realistic wigs are pretending to be not frum/not married?? That’s not the case at allS They are trying to look and feel beautiful while being frum and married. The Mitzva is to cover one’s hair, not to look frumpy.

I’m not sure how the single girls discussion comes into play.

Pollyanna

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 1:25 pm

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

So is yours, to the people being told that somehow they have to make things "fair" for your husband.

Nobody is being told. I have a realistic wig of 2019 hanging in my closet. I try not to wear it out of the house ever since DH mentioned to me how attracting that kind of wig.

Does he stare? No. Not the type at all. He's a pretty normal guy, but he's not blind, and it's a fact that they make wigs to look as eye catching as you can get.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 1:31 pm

Pollyanna wrote:

How do you feel about unmarried women who have long, glossy, healthy hair? I mean hair down to the waist, that swishes back and forth when they walk, and shimmers in the sunlight?

There is no rule that they have to cover their hair to protect your husband.

Pollyanna

Mon, Aug 05 2019, 1:43 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Unrealistic =/= Bad.
The point of married women wearing a wig is to cover the hair. Why not get a pretty wig that doesn't look realistic instead of pretending to be not frum/not married?

The point is actually to cover the look of hair, because hair is pretty. An Eshet Ish needs extra protection, the violation of negia is much more severe. We aren't talking Para Aduma type of Mitzva here, because if it was so, it could have been concealing hands, ears, or wearing a badge Smile

The fact that it's specifically hair, there must be something to it. And there is. Men usually don't mention or realize because there are so used to seeing them all over the place, but it's a fact. Ironically, what ends up being is that women walk out with a covering that is many times more striking than their own hair!

If I sound like I'm lecturing, forgive me, I'm new to this train of thought myself and would love to get chizuk and grow with everyone.

Let's hope Mashiach comes this week so we can all greet Sara Imeunu with open arms, and she'll teach just like she always did the truth.