HELP ME | Imamother

amother

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 6:20 pm

I have a 5 year old. He is mature and can be really sweet and a pleasure. He also has a really angry streak in him.
Lately he's been acting up, for example throwing pasta into the den (no food allowed there). Then what happens? The 2 yo imitates him. If I ask tem to stop they ignore me. Then I get angry and overwhelmed and I grab by the arms and place them in time out, all the while talking in an angry angry voice.

he throws things and makes trouble when he's angry, which makes me angrier.I have a book (aha parenting and how to talk so little kids will listen) but honestly once they're throwing the pasta or beating each other up, what the *** am I supposed to do? ThEy do NOT listen. No matter how nicely I ask or state.

I am so. Frustrated. (With myself.)

amother

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 6:26 pm

ectomorph wrote:

Do you do physical time outs. I hold their hand for a minute for timeout.

He smacks me and kicks me and gets very violent. That does not seem productive.

ectomorph

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 6:37 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

He smacks me and kicks me and gets very violent. That does not seem productive.

Ok, that won't work then.

Have you been able to identify any triggers? Hunger, exhaust ed, needs to poop?

One thing I do is I try to feed them positivity the instant I see them. I find when they feel more secure they act out less.

amother

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 6:40 pm

ectomorph wrote:

That's a good idea.
No identifiable triggers.
What sort of positivity? Hugs and smiles? Or more involved?

ectomorph

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 6:49 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

That's a good idea.
No identifiable triggers.
What sort of positivity? Hugs and smiles? Or more involved?

The instant I see them after school I am thrilled to see them. "yanky!! I'm sooo happy to see you! I missed u! How was ur day? I love your project!"
lots of kisses and hugs of course
I give them a treat for going nicely into the car seats
Take them home. on the way I tell them about my day (and what I made them for dinner) and they tell me about theirs.
Home. First thing is food and comfort. Get them their special blanket or whatever.

Then Yanky. Do you want to pick out a special book?

Then once they feel loved, I can do other stuff... But I expect to spend the first hour after we come home caring for them. That's what they need between ages 2-6 in my experience. It's a long hard day for them.

amother

Chocolate

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 10:13 pm

Give attention to the behavior you want repeated. Try not to react in the moment to his attention seeking bad behaviors. While he’s throwing pasta- comment on the 2 year olds behavior. “Wow Shloimy is sitting so nicely ...., or Rivky is breathing in such a nice way.” Give attention to anybody who’s not doing anything bad.

simba

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 11:28 pm

amother [ Chocolate ] wrote: