Why have children if you just want them out of the house?

amother

Lime

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 9:26 pm

Jewishfoodie wrote:

I had them so I would have someone to teach about tampons. Just lucky I guess that they were girls..

Isn't that why everyone has kids?

A deer eating popcorn?! I'm stealing that!

You can teach boys about tampons too. They are great for nose bleeds.
(She's the Man)

amother

Aquamarine

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 9:27 pm

-they don't believe in birth control
- they don't know about birth control
- their dh wanted children (even though they didnt)
- to many people where looking at their stomach
-their neighbor/mil/friend/relative commented that it was time
-needed pictures of their kids to post on Instagram
- their Rav said they had to
- social pressure/society expectations
- they love their kids but since children cost money they need to work full time so find breaks hard bec it's hard to find childcare
- their great parents but their kids need structure that can be hard to give with a bunch of diff age kids at home
- they are human and need some "me time"

Does that cover it?

simba

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 9:41 pm

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

-They needed to have a bugaboo
-They wanted to go to a Kimpeturin Heim
-They wanted to have someone to leave their millions to
-To have someone to say Kaddish for them
-As an excuse to be fat (from multiple pregnancies)

amother

Aquamarine

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 9:44 pm

simba wrote:

amother

Wheat

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 9:47 pm

amother [ Aquamarine ] wrote:

NO! You forgot BC fail!

ectomorph

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 9:49 pm

amother [ Wheat ] wrote:

NO! You forgot BC fail!

One of my MO friends had a pretend BC fail. She didn't want to admit that she just wanted another, so she pretended she had a bc fail.

singleagain

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 9:52 pm

ectomorph wrote:

One of my MO friends had a pretend BC fail. She didn't want to admit that she just wanted another, so she pretended she had a bc fail.

That's really low. And if she has told other ppl, she runs the risk of her husband finding out.

amother

Lilac

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 9:52 pm

ectomorph wrote:

One of my MO friends had a pretend BC fail. She didn't want to admit that she just wanted another, so she pretended she had a bc fail.

I want to get in another 1-2 pregnancies before the tick tock of my biological clock. Thinking to try to pull this off. Otherwise cant handle the judgment hahah

singleagain

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 9:54 pm

amother [ Lilac ] wrote:

I want to get in another 1-2 pregnancies before the tick tock of my biological clock. Thinking to try to pull this off. Otherwise cant handle the judgment hahah

Before you consider that... Read this post from another thread:

Quote:

I have a friend who tricked her husband into her getting pregnant. She now has that extra kid and a Get.

amother

Lilac

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 9:56 pm

Singleagain- sorry if I wasnt clear.
Id tell my family and friends it was BC fail. DH is on board with as many as I can handle. However we both have small, judgemental families ...

singleagain

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 10:04 pm

amother [ Lilac ] wrote:

Singleagain- sorry if I wasnt clear.
Id tell my family and friends it was BC fail. DH is on board with as many as I can handle. However we both have small, judgemental families ...

Why is it family and friends business if this was planned or a fail...? Seems invasive... But as long as a husband and wife are in the same page, kol hakavod to you for doing what you can handle.

ectomorph

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 10:08 pm

singleagain wrote:

Just to say it - any dh who would treat the child or wife differently merely because she wants another kid - isn't a decent or normal guy in the first place.

amother

Tan

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 10:49 pm

I work full time so I can help provide for my family. My salary helps pay my precious children's tuition, food, clothing, mortgage, etc. Because I work full time, every single off day (I don't mean Sunday and snow days) because a stress for me. Who will I find to watch my kids? If I can't make arrangements, I need to take off because I have more vacation days then my husband.
So yes, I hate when school is out.

amother

Apricot

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 10:54 pm

when I found out that my kids have some off days between camp and school that coincide with my off days from work, I was honestly excited to be able to spend quality time with them. and OP, im considered yeshivish. so there!
but I agree with the previous poster; I start work before they start school, which is stressful, and then I wish they started school a few days earlier

amother

Pink

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 10:54 pm

Since op got enough slamming I will assume op was young naive and innocent by asking this question so I will answer with sincerity.

My 12 y o asked me the same question, actually! I explained to her that kids need structure. Siblings trigger each other enough to make mothers question their choices and kids behave better away from home. That’s why.

P.s. kids are a social advantage, and you get to buy them all American dolls and failed childhood dreams. Teehee.

amother

Lime

Wed, Aug 07 2019, 11:02 pm

So a woman should be able to have as many kids as she wants irrelevant of her husband's desire because it is her body?

What if financial responsibility falls on him and he is beyond stressed and feels like he can't put in more time or make more money?

What if he feels his home is on the brink of dysfunction?

What if he does most of the childcare because she works and is not home or struggles with illnesses?

What if he is a great father and husband but feels that he is at capacity and is happy with life as it is and just doesn't want to rock the boat.

They should definitely have a conversation, but don't be so quick to judge him.