S/O... Why Have a husband if you won't cook for him?

Jewishfoodie

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 10:21 am

I mean, what's the point of marrying someone if you have no intention of feeding him, washing his laundry, birthing his kids... Filling the car, etc..

Honesty, I married because I couldn't reach light bulbs and I hate standing on ladders.

You?

Metukah

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 10:33 am

You know I have spent the last 2 decades trying to work out why anyone would get married.

Yours is the best reason I have come across so far. Genius.

Honestly I only married because my maiden name is unpronounceable and unspellable. Marriage was the easiest way to change my name.

happymom123

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 10:36 am

To kill bugs for me. No way I'm killing a cockroach myself, I need a man for that

Saralle

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 10:36 am

Jewish Foodie, I KNOW!! I don't get people that marry someone shorter than them! If he can't reach the upper cabinets, what's he good for??

Honestly, I got married because I need an in house bug killer.

Also, because my best friends kept dropping me and I figured it would be cool to have a best friend that can't just drop me (for no reason) under penalty of halacha.

(ETA, hey! I see someone beat me to it! I guess getting a bug killer is a good reason to get married)
Also, my second reason is 50% true.

Last edited by Saralle on Thu, Aug 08 2019, 10:39 am; edited 2 times in total

keym

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 10:38 am

For the tax rebates. Uncle Sam was taking way too much as a single girl. Got married, filed jointly, voila. Much better.

Also my hair was very frizzy and unmanagable. I look much better in a shaitel.

tigerwife

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 10:40 am

Wow, it seems like marrying for an in-house bug- killer is more common than I thought! Thank G-d for that.

But also, it’s a great excuse to wear wigs. How else can I get away with dark long hair and bangs one day and a streaky bob the next day?

aliavi

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 10:44 am

I got married because schlepping groceries is a pain and I didn’t do an order then. I prefer to workout without my groceries.

jflower

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 10:49 am

travel is so much easier if you have somebody to schlep the heavy luggage for you.

gande

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 10:54 am

I needed a man to have kids with so I can dress them cute.
I needed a car service driver to get me to the mall to shop.
I needed a handyman to put things together. I have no clue how to assemle things.

aliavi

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 10:57 am

gande wrote:

I needed a man to have kids with so I can dress them cute.

You cannot really experience life without all of those adorable headbands.

ShishKabob

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 11:00 am

I'm still trying to find the passcode for the swiss account he supposedly inherited. I've been duped. Should I still continue making shakshuka?

Jewishfoodie

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 11:09 am

ShishKabob wrote:

I'm still trying to find the passcode for the swiss account he supposedly inherited. I've been duped. Should I still continue making shakshuka?

No, silly. You got a damaged product! Return to sender, reorder.

ShishKabob

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 11:11 am

Jewishfoodie wrote:

No, silly. You got a damaged product! Return to sender, reorder.

He doesn't fit in the same package like I got. do you think they'll take back the product even if it grew over the years?

Jewishfoodie

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 11:14 am

ShishKabob wrote:

He doesn't fit in the same package like I got. do you think they'll take back the product even if it grew over the years?

I can't believe you saved the box!

ShishKabob

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 11:18 am

Jewishfoodie wrote:

I can't believe you saved the box!

I'm very good at keeping the boxes together with the warranties in case anything happens. You gotta see my attic!

simba

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 11:26 am

I’m taller then dh so light bulbs and high shelves are on me.
Killing bugs got me. Love at first kill.
And I can bet my maiden name is worse then yours Metukah. This marriage definitely helped that dept.

But the real reason I got married was so that I can fulfill the Mitzva of Being an Eishes Chayil. To melt into the other half of my soul. To build a Bayis Ne’eman B’Yisroel. To bring neshhomos into this world to serve Hashem. To help another yid fulfill his obligation of P’ru U’rvu.

I’m good like that.

Jewishfoodie

Thu, Aug 08 2019, 11:27 am

I love playing the game, "Knock the Cover of the Toilet Seat Down" so I got married.

How else would I play these fun games?! "Find the Smelly Sox," or "Collect the change from The Couch," "Interesting uses for the Yarmulka," "Guess what I'm sick with now" and "Step onto a Soaking Wet Towel in the Bathroom in Your sleep."

These games are CLASSICS.