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Will anyone prevent Ateres Tziporah girls from going OTD?
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amother




OP


Post  Thu, Aug 29 2019, 9:52 am
We all know that kids without a school causes serious issues, down the line.
(It can break someone's heart, and Im not even a Lakewood person). All they need is a few (or one) wealthy goodhearted people to get together and work this out in a way that satisfies all. And please lets not be judgmental before Rosh Hashana, with blaming... because they... and they...so now.. Innocent kids dont have a school.

This is on todays Ateres Tziporah Whatsapp group:


So Wednesday came and went. Apprently Tuesday night was a meeting trying to get a bunch of schools in town to take our girls. Apparently (I'm getting this info from third parties) no one wants our girls and basically ever school said we are full and we dont have room to absorb them. While school starting is a week away, you will likely not be seeing a classroom on the first day of school bc if and when the vaad or any powers in town try to do something it will likely be after the holidays or 2 or 3 weeks into school when they have a real count of how bad the problem is. Even if they do the schools in this town are overwhelmed as it is. Even if our names were Kamintsky of Kanivesky, it's no gaurente. These schools most of them have a serious overcrowding issue. The few that may be willing to accept us are not really biting either. Tehillas Chaya Sarah, Bnos Penniah...... how many extra seats do they have akready?

I'm not saying I have the awnsers. I think rebranding a school is a full year worth of long meetings and planning and then it stands a chance we can re launch next year. I have heard from a number of people say, if we had a million dollars....🤔

I had an hour conversation with Mrs. Insel this week. She didn't want me to share this but she has girls calling her all the time asking what they should do for school. It breaks her heart. She has no answers for them. At the same time she said if someone came forward with the missing funds shes confident she could pull through and make it happen. Reality however the school has a very tainted name and a lot of people (donors included) dont want to come to it....

Will something happen before the start of school? I highly doubt it. There are bound to be countless kids at home for a while.

I have made an active decision to send me kid to a school out of Lakewood as it's the only place right now willing to take my daughter and others. People say well I'm glad you have a school. No I don't. If I had a school I wouldn't make my daughter ride 1 hour a day in the car. But I don't have an option. I am desperate like everyone else. I would very much like to see what can be done but from the dozens of conversations it's clear we are not wanted.

The Rosh Yeshivas office actually told someone this week we can arrange Shalom Torah for your kids 😯.... that among other many ridiculous things....

I dont see any major lifeboat soon. I am simply offering if anyone wants a school next week for their kids there is a school and a ride from Tom's River.... it's an hour away and it's a chabad school but they are happy to accept your child. Feel free to DM for more information
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amother




Denim


Post  Thu, Aug 29 2019, 11:20 am
Crying
Why don't they at least fund it until all the girls finish 12th grade with out adding more classes?
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allthingsblue




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Aug 29 2019, 11:24 am
Crying

I am actually crying. This is heartbreaking and unfathomable. I would donate if a fund is created. (Even though I don't like donating to these causes usually, because they are not sustainable and we will face the same problem every year. But in this case, to save innocent Jewish bnos Yisroel from heartbreak and humiliation, I would do my part and donate.)
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Aug 29 2019, 11:40 am
I'm not from that area, so I'm just musing - not judging.

It seems to me that more and more families are still moving to Lakewood and the surrounding suburbs, and B'H the families get bigger every year.

The whole situation is not sustainable, IMHO. There needs to be a drastic overhaul, of rabbinical proportions. Never mind a tzniut asifah, there needs to be a chinuk asifah. B'H there are so many Jewish children in the world.

Maybe Nefesh b'Nefesh needs to look at more ways to lure families to Israel with good schools that teach Hebrew at a decent pace, and are more accommodating to English speaking kids of all ages.

(Of course, there must be parnossa as well. Where there is no bread, there is no Torah. That's a whole 'nother conversation, and I don't pretend that it's easy.)

I don't have any easy answers. I feel for each and every person who is feeling left out in the cold. All I can do is daven for Moshiach now, so all our children will grow with a love of Torah and Mitzvot.
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naturalmom5




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Aug 29 2019, 11:53 am
Once again Chabad will save the day
For the last 70 years Lakewood has been cursing out Lubavitch
Yet time after time Chabad has bailed them out
That is true ahavas yisroel
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Jewishfoodie




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Aug 29 2019, 11:58 am
naturalmom5 wrote:
Once again Chabad will save the day
For the last 70 years Lakewood has been cursing out Lubavitch
Yet time after time Chabad has bailed them out
That is true ahavas yisroel


You'd be hard pressed to find a Jew today who wasn't in one way or another helped by Chabad. Think mikvahs, vacations with no kosher food, etc..
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ShishKabob




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Aug 29 2019, 12:10 pm
Jewishfoodie wrote:
You'd be hard pressed to find a Jew today who wasn't in one way or another helped by Chabad. Think mikvahs, vacations with no kosher food, etc..

Probably with some glazed doughnuts too along the way!
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amother




Aquamarine


Post  Thu, Aug 29 2019, 12:37 pm
naturalmom5 wrote:
Once again Chabad will save the day
For the last 70 years Lakewood has been cursing out Lubavitch
Yet time after time Chabad has bailed them out
That is true ahavas yisroel

How and when has Lakewood been "cursing out Lubavitch"?
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leah233




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Aug 29 2019, 12:45 pm
Maybe start a spinoff but please don't change a topic as important and as painful as girls without a school into a discussion about Chabad.

All I can do for these girls is daven. Those who have better ideas (without finger pointing and blaming )please share them
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amother




Burlywood


Post  Thu, Aug 29 2019, 12:54 pm
amother [ Denim ] wrote:
Crying
Why don't they at least fund it until all the girls finish 12th grade with out adding more classes?


AFAIK, this is an elementary school, not a high school.

Who is "they"? I know that when a high school in Lakewood was threatening to close, they were soliciting donations to keep it open. Is that the "they"? Random donors?

From what I read, this school was kept afloat by 2 families with girls in the school. When their kids graduated, the funding dried up. They received funds to keep it open for 1 year, but now they're closing. It should have been apparent to everyone, after the threat to close last year, that this could happen. What has been done in the meantime?

And don't look at me, but obviously something needs to be done on a global level. There are always kids who don't have a school to attend in Lakewood, but also always schools on the verge of collapse. And far too much of "I wouldn't send my kid THERE," or "our school can't take a kid like THAT."
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amother




Ivory


Post  Thu, Aug 29 2019, 2:05 pm
So I’m not sure what to think right now and I’ll explain why.
Of course a young girl who doesn’t have a school to go to a week before school starts is at a serious disadvantage. If a child is sad and worried about it then I truly do feel bad.
However the part that is confusing is as follows. I know a few families who over the years had sent their daughters to this school that is closing down and they were very unhappy. It seems that this school attracted a crowd that for the most part did not want to conform with Lakewood rules. The families I know who sent their daughters took their daughters out of this school because of the negative influence effecting their daughters. English music, secular movies, internet access for children, not following tznius according to Halacha were reasons some families pulled out.
On one it’s great that this school was there for all types of families. But since the school has a reputation which school in Lakewood should take in this type of girl? Most families in established Lakewood schools would not want some of these girls in their daughters classes.
I’m not saying that everyone who went there is like this. I know people are going to respond and say that their daughters are not like that at all. Perhaps not, but if your daughter and family is not like that you know that others from the school are like that.
Which Lakewood school would you think think these girls would fit in?
Clearly it is a problem but it’s not a simple solution.
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amother




Wine


Post  Thu, Aug 29 2019, 2:08 pm
Why is it such a big deal for a different school to accept a child on condition that the family fully conforms to all the school rules?
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allthingsblue




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Aug 29 2019, 2:12 pm
amother [ Ivory ] wrote:
So I’m not sure what to think right now and I’ll explain why.
Of course a young girl who doesn’t have a school to go to a week before school starts is at a serious disadvantage. If a child is sad and worried about it then I truly do feel bad.
However the part that is confusing is as follows. I know a few families who over the years had sent their daughters to this school that is closing down and they were very unhappy. It seems that this school attracted a crowd that for the most part did not want to conform with Lakewood rules. The families I know who sent their daughters took their daughters out of this school because of the negative influence effecting their daughters. English music, secular movies, internet access for children, not following tznius according to Halacha were reasons some families pulled out.
On one it’s great that this school was there for all types of families. But since the school has a reputation which school in Lakewood should take in this type of girl? Most families in established Lakewood schools would not want some of these girls in their daughters classes.
I’m not saying that everyone who went there is like this. I know people are going to respond and say that their daughters are not like that at all. Perhaps not, but if your daughter and family is not like that you know that others from the school are like that.
Which Lakewood school would you think think these girls would fit in?
Clearly it is a problem but it’s not a simple solution.


Yes the solution is simple. Are you scared your kids will be influenced? Then work on your own yiddishkeit and transferring that to your kids, so they feel proud and confident. I am doing that with my kids and have no problem saying "their mom may allow that but in our house we don't do that. How about we do this instead."

If you're worried about influence the problem is largely with you (I don't mean you specifically, I mean parents who feel this way).
In out of town schools, the yeshivish kids do not get influenced by the kids whose moms don't cover their hair and watch tv; the opposite occurs.
Spiritual growth should be applauded in school and at home, and middos and spiritual growth should be discussed as often as Chumash and navi.

Public humiliation is akin to murder.
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amother




Orange


Post  Thu, Aug 29 2019, 2:14 pm
I would like to add that in my day, a "modern" high school closed and the other schools absorbed the girls. Those 5 "modern" [for lakewood] girls that came to my high school are some of the most genuine, G-d fearing Yiddishe women out of the whole grade. Just goes to show.
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Chayalle




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Aug 29 2019, 2:31 pm
amother [ Ivory ] wrote:
So I’m not sure what to think right now and I’ll explain why.
Of course a young girl who doesn’t have a school to go to a week before school starts is at a serious disadvantage. If a child is sad and worried about it then I truly do feel bad.
However the part that is confusing is as follows. I know a few families who over the years had sent their daughters to this school that is closing down and they were very unhappy. It seems that this school attracted a crowd that for the most part did not want to conform with Lakewood rules. The families I know who sent their daughters took their daughters out of this school because of the negative influence effecting their daughters. English music, secular movies, internet access for children, not following tznius according to Halacha were reasons some families pulled out.
On one it’s great that this school was there for all types of families. But since the school has a reputation which school in Lakewood should take in this type of girl? Most families in established Lakewood schools would not want some of these girls in their daughters classes.
I’m not saying that everyone who went there is like this. I know people are going to respond and say that their daughters are not like that at all. Perhaps not, but if your daughter and family is not like that you know that others from the school are like that.
Which Lakewood school would you think think these girls would fit in?
Clearly it is a problem but it’s not a simple solution.


I keep hearing these types of things thru all my years living in Lakewood and I still don't get it.

I grew up like this. I was a frum kid from a regular, not-that-sheltered home, and I went to school with everybody in my community. There were all sorts of girls in my grade, all types. That's what life is like. And you know what happened?

JPF little me that came from a home that definitely did not stress Kollel or the yeshivish way of life, got influenced by it, and told her (rather shell-shocked and overwhelmed) father that she wants to marry a learning boy. And did so, and he's still learning B"H over 20 years later.

See, it works both ways.

I know people from homes that were downright more modern, with the influences that we had those days, like TV and boys and movies (there was no internet yet) who did the same - they were influenced by the yeshivish kids, whose parents created strong enough and warm enough homes to include and embrace their kids and their friends.

I'm so glad my best friend's parents didn't decide I was a bad influence on her. B"H they welcomed me into their home and I had big discussions about shidduchim, Kollel, marriage, etc... with her parents.

Can you imagine Avraham Avinu trying to register his little Yitzchak to one of our schools? Would he get accepted?
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amother




Royalblue


Post  Thu, Aug 29 2019, 2:40 pm
So none of the other schools in all of Lakewood wants these children. I think they should all register their kids in public school. Maybe then the community/schools/Rabbonim will take some achrais for these girls.
I have a friend here in Monsey (BT) who had a child who was miserable in her elementary school yeshiva. She took her child out of the school and put her in public school. Then her next kid was also miserable and she registered her in public school too. Then the Yeshiva finally woke up and put in efforts for the child and she stayed in yeshiva.
So this woman is sending to a chabbad school and she will have to be on a bus for an hour. Not an easy solution. But I guess better than no school at all.
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amother




Plum


Post  Thu, Aug 29 2019, 2:51 pm
Ivory, most if not all BY schools have some girls in their student body who listen to secular music, read inappropriate books, have internet access, and/or watch movies.

Speak to some principals if you don’t believe me.
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amother




Ivory


Post  Thu, Aug 29 2019, 2:55 pm
allthingsblue wrote:
Yes the solution is simple. Are you scared your kids will be influenced? Then work on your own yiddishkeit and transferring that to your kids, so they feel proud and confident. I am doing that with my kids and have no problem saying "their mom may allow that but in our house we don't do that. How about we do this instead."

If you're worried about influence the problem is largely with you (I don't mean you specifically, I mean parents who feel this way).
In out of town schools, the yeshivish kids do not get influenced by the kids whose moms don't cover their hair and watch tv; the opposite occurs.
Spiritual growth should be applauded in school and at home, and middos and spiritual growth should be discussed as often as Chumash and navi.

Public humiliation is akin to murder.


Easier said than done
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amother




Vermilion


Post  Thu, Aug 29 2019, 2:55 pm
amother [ Wine ] wrote:
Why is it such a big deal for a different school to accept a child on condition that the family fully conforms to all the school rules?


Because there are already 30 kids in each class.
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amother




Ivory


Post  Thu, Aug 29 2019, 2:57 pm
amother [ Wine ] wrote:
Why is it such a big deal for a different school to accept a child on condition that the family fully conforms to all the school rules?


They made a conscious decision not to conform which is why they sent to that school.
Although I’m sure some of the families will try to agree now.
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