Will anyone prevent Ateres Tziporah girls from going OTD?

amother

Bronze

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 3:02 pm

amother [ Plum ] wrote:

Ivory, most if not all BY schools have some girls in their student body who listen to secular music, read inappropriate books, have internet access, and/or watch movies.

Speak to some principals if you don’t believe me.

In young elementary? This is not rebellious kids. These are kids who’s parents hand them iPads with internet- it’s not against Halacha but it is a lifestyle choice.

little neshamala

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 3:31 pm

allthingsblue wrote:

Yes the solution is simple. Are you scared your kids will be influenced? Then work on your own yiddishkeit and transferring that to your kids, so they feel proud and confident. I am doing that with my kids and have no problem saying "their mom may allow that but in our house we don't do that. How about we do this instead."

If you're worried about influence the problem is largely with you (I don't mean you specifically, I mean parents who feel this way).
In out of town schools, the yeshivish kids do not get influenced by the kids whose moms don't cover their hair and watch tv; the opposite occurs.
Spiritual growth should be applauded in school and at home, and middos and spiritual growth should be discussed as often as Chumash and navi.

Public humiliation is akin to murder.

I agree with this 1,000,000%, and im coming from the more yeshivish spectrum.

And I dont really agree with the poster who said its easier said than done. I dont think this is fluff.

amother

Firebrick

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 3:34 pm

amother [ Bronze ] wrote:

In young elementary? This is not rebellious kids. These are kids who’s parents hand them iPads with internet- it’s not against Halacha but it is a lifestyle choice.

There are definitely kids like this in Bais Faiga. And Bais Tova. and Bnos Yaakov. and others.... I can think of a few off the bat that I know. Some keep it quiet.

Kiwi13

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 3:46 pm

Jewishfoodie wrote:

You'd be hard pressed to find a Jew today who wasn't in one way or another helped by Chabad. Think mikvahs, vacations with no kosher food, etc..

Kind of off topic, but I absolutely agree!!
I was raised in a family that had some harsh commentary against Chabad, but during my troubled teenage years, Chabad helped me in ways no one else did. And they did it discretely and with tremendous sensitivity. TREMENDOUS. I honestly don’t know if I would have survived those years, or if I’d have made it through spiritually intact, without Chabad. They are true messengers of Hashem.

amother

Aubergine

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 3:48 pm

Chayalle wrote:

I keep hearing these types of things thru all my years living in Lakewood and I still don't get it.

I grew up like this. I was a frum kid from a regular, not-that-sheltered home, and I went to school with everybody in my community. There were all sorts of girls in my grade, all types. That's what life is like. And you know what happened?

JPF little me that came from a home that definitely did not stress Kollel or the yeshivish way of life, got influenced by it, and told her (rather shell-shocked and overwhelmed) father that she wants to marry a learning boy. And did so, and he's still learning B"H over 20 years later.

See, it works both ways.

I know people from homes that were downright more modern, with the influences that we had those days, like TV and boys and movies (there was no internet yet) who did the same - they were influenced by the yeshivish kids, whose parents created strong enough and warm enough homes to include and embrace their kids and their friends.

I'm so glad my best friend's parents didn't decide I was a bad influence on her. B"H they welcomed me into their home and I had big discussions about shidduchim, Kollel, marriage, etc... with her parents.

Can you imagine Avraham Avinu trying to register his little Yitzchak to one of our schools? Would he get accepted?

I don't understand it either. I went to super frum Brooklyn schools, and there was always a lot of diversity. And we all benefitted from it. No one policed parents or their homes, and no child was seen as a "toxic influence" the way it is currently in Lakewood. It is really awful, and a serious problem of chinuch and sinas chinam. It makes me sad to know a large portion of the frum world is growing up and viewing this kind of extreme segregation and elitism as normal.

amother

Red

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 4:16 pm

this problem(of “different children not accepted in school, because they don’t fit into the idiotic molds we’ve created) exists in every tri state community.
The solution is to stop the segregation. Schools should accept children according to zip codes or areas and no one should be allowed to have their own school. Tuition should be payed into a single pot run by a strong and supported group which would allocate each school the necessary monies. We are all part of klal yisroel and no one is better than another.
The way we have closed ourselves into specific communities just causes strife.

I want to know what everyone will answer in shamayim after 120 !?!
We are responsible for each and every child both as parents and teachers.

amother

Navy

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 7:06 pm

this is so off topic so not nice to the Op

please if you must then start a spin off

hugs and hatzlocha Op
so sorry you and others and daughters are having to deal with this! Hope it resolves right away in a wonderful way. (personally I would send to the chabad school where the kids will be imbued with joy in yiddishkeit and ahavas yisroel and not otd cvs -- thats how I would turn a negative into a positive and not beg these other schools to take to no avail....oy...I would spin it as a hassle the drive but overall a big positive for the girls and do it right away so they have time to go together and adjust and start off on the right foot and put together a carpool and take turns bringing treats for everyone etc.

amother

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 8:50 pm

OP here.

Im thinking of all the Lakewood and Lakewood area Imamothers, if this pulls at your heartstrings, like it does mine, maybe theres some of us here who are wealthy enough that they can either alone, or with other wealthy people, afford to straighten this out for these girls and their families, who would definitely suffer a lifetime. Maybe they can bring it up to their husbands, and when they and their DHs are davening this coming R'H and Y"K they can remember how much anguish they saved for so many and stand tall and proud, and ask Hashem to repay them and their families with Kol Tuv.

I dont live in Lakewood but my DD who was kicked out of school had to readjust with a new school, and losing old friends, and it led to her going OTD. On top of that her heartless high school principal shamed her publicly, with names and all. Getting kicked out is bad enough but dont publicly shame her. (Not related to this thread, but just a symptom of a "revered principal's" temper and heartlessness).

Please lets not mix this up with vaccination issues or other issues that can lead to the thread getting locked. Vaccination issues are Dept of Health issues, and afaik cant be solved by private people. If you want to discuss vaccination, start a new thread, please. Thanks.

Please lets all have a heart.

amother

Teal

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 9:10 pm

OP, I know you mean well but a school is a business, and while good chinuch is the cornerstone, a good administrator who handles the school’s finances is invaluable. Unfortunately it seems that money will not help Ateres Tzipora because the financial side was being mismanaged. My good friend worked in Ateres Tzipora for a few years. She said that thousands of dollars worth of grants and government aid was forfeited because paperwork wasn’t submitted in time, etc.

With that out of the way, I believe we as parents in other schools have a duty to call our schools and express support for them to accept Ateres Tzipora girls. I personally would be happy, and encourage my daughter to befriend newcomers, whether their lifestyle matches mine exactly or not.

And let this be a lessons to everyone who yells, open more schools - schools need good chinuch and good financial planning/backing. Without both it will fail, leaving us worse off!

amother

Azure

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 10:45 pm

OP,

We had a similar situation in Monsey 9 years ago. 2 girls schools closed down from one day to the next right before school started. My daughter was transferring into one of those schools. One of the schools sounds similar to Ateres Tziporah. The principal was using her own money to keep the school open. She took in everyone, and if they didn't pay there was no consequences. She didn't want any girls going to public schools. The other school was a small mixed chassidish school. No schools wanted these girls. The girls seemed to have a taint. Plus it was very difficult for full schools to take the girls.

One school told me they would take my daughter, but The Rabbi couldn't configure the classroom desks to hold one more. He said if we could figure out how to do this, they would take her. They had 30+ girls in the class. We saw the classroom. This wasn't for us.

We called every connection we could and BH got our daughter into a mainstream school. The other girls weren't so fortunate. The yom tovim came and went, and these girls had no schools. Finally, around Chanukah time the Vaad told every girls school that they must take the girls that were not placed.

OP, the same dire words were spoken at the time about the girls going OTD.

Power1Mom

Thu, Aug 29 2019, 11:29 pm

I’m just wondering if the hanhalla of this school that closed down is trying to get the students into other schools.
It’s definitely the achrayus of all schools to try to make room for the students, so every girl has a school.
I think the school that closed down, also has an achrayus to try to advocate for the students and families that went there. To close down just a month or 2 before school starts seems unfair to the families. Maybe the families were warned, and we don’t know. It just seems like they should really be pushing for their former students. But maybe they really are, and we just aren’t hearing that side of the story.

amother

Fri, Aug 30 2019, 12:14 am

amother [ Teal ] wrote:

Nothing is impossible. If theres enough generous caring wealthy people to offer funds, those funding the school can choose new people to manage. Parents dont care who is managing the school. For all the parents care, the school can have a new name and start out a little differently, not under the control of the previous management..

meme6

Fri, Aug 30 2019, 12:16 am

There also needs to be a school for those that are not so yeshivish so saying they run different homes is not an answer they are Yiddish kids. My question is where are the big talkers like rechnitz remember what he said a few years ago never heard him act on it. It’s disgusting what’s going on with this school but I will say the same situation happens with yeshiva gedolah a lot don’t get accepted etc that’s what causes so many boys to go otd!