Admission cards | Imamother

amother

Slateblue

Mon, Sep 02 2019, 9:43 am

amother [ Copper ] wrote:

There can be plenty of other reasons. I couldn't afford camp for my daughter, but my in-laws stepped in and agreed to pay for it, knowing how much it meant to my daughter. They're able to step in here and there to help out, but they're not able to take upon themselves to assist with a steady monthly (and huge) expense.

Also, another thing to consider. Camp for my daughter was half of my monthly tuition bill.

So now do you understand how it can appear that people have money for camp, and not for school?

I agree with you that some ppl are being "subsidized" for camp.(im glad your parents were able to pay for your dd.)

But, when you write "another thing to consider is "camp for my daughter is half of my monthly tuition bill".....this is the part im not understanding. What I mean is yes, the amount of $ camp costs may be less than monthly tuition, but the reality of finances is that adding up the costs of camp, plus expensive foods, plus cleaning help....etc does add up to enough $ to be able to pay more to the school such that if the school sees parents are prioritizing (even small amounts of $ bec they do add up), then they wouldnt have to insist on an admissions card system to "push" parents to pay.

And, again, im not judging you bec. I dont know you and your situation. But, yes, there are a lot of ppl I talk to who "just buy" "everything"....and then cant pay school....I dont know who it is...but its just not possible to pay for all expenses ppl pay and also pay for school....so ppl do need to prioritize.

For example, I went to put my 3 yr old in school, and the amount of $ they charged was too high. But, there are no discounts for that...yet most ppl I know ...tell me they send...bec their 3 yr old "needs" it.

I do feel for those who do prioritize and are still struggling.

amother

Copper

Mon, Sep 02 2019, 10:27 am

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

The people you describe are few and far in between. Very few people are ignoring their responsibilities and not prioritizing. It may appear to others that they're not prioritizing but until you haven't been in someone else's shoes, it's very difficult to understand. Here's an example to emphasize my point.

You're working full time just to put bread & butter on the table & a roof over your heads. You barely have a chance to down some breakfast, while pushing your youngest onto the bus and running off to work. You get home at the same time (or after) your kids arrive home, and quickly throw together some food for them, do homework with them, while balancing a baby's needs. You somehow figure out bedtime, before collapsing into bed from exhaustion. So yes, a cleaning lady may be a priority in this situation, because if the mother collapses, everything goes to h*ll, including the food on the table. As for clothing, the kids are B"H growing. You shop for the cheapest shoes and clothes and pass down what you possibly can, but yes, they will have something new to wear, unless you literally want me to send them with outgrown clothes and torn shoes to school. Expensive foods - ? Kosher food is expensive - no matter how little you buy it still adds up to a significant amount per week. Camps/day camps - ? Are you, or the school, offering to watch my children while I work, or am I expected to leave them home alone 5 days a week?

Schools? - Do I have a public school option or low cost option to send my kids to? Or should I homeschool them, including the bochurim (but there goes the food on the table)? And yes, some 3 year olds really need to be kept busy during the day. Times have changed, and we don't let 3 year olds run around the backyards on their own, or sit alone on the front stoop cheering all the bystanders on. Some kids are ok with little stimulation, but some kids literally go mad without a significant amount of it.

School expenses are a fortune. For so many of us, it's the largest expense of the household. It can come down literally between choosing to pay the schools, or prioritizing a semblance of a functional household. If you feel the need to be so harsh and judgmental of these parents, based on a few outliers who abuse the system, then so be it. And I'll daven for you that Hashem should never put you in such a situation where such struggles will hit home.

amother

Ecru

Mon, Sep 02 2019, 10:39 am

When people are behind in payments it doesn’t mean that they don’t plan on paying! They are waiting until they have the funds to pay!
When I got a phone call that we owed $3,000 to my 8th grade sons school I was being threatened that they will send him home, he won’t go on the graduation trip... I was literally harassed with multiple phone calls each day- on my home, cell and office number. I TOLD them I plan to take care of the balance. I just needed time. Then I calculated how much I actually gave the school for tuition since he began and that sum was exorbitant! If I paid up until now then they should realize that I will keep my word and not be so mean. Oh, and yes I did send my kids to camp (not sleep away) because I truly believe that it was something they needed even though I still had a tuition balance.
But anyway, this thread is not about people owning tuition. It’s about op’s son who didn’t get an admission card yet. Let’s not get carried away. She has all intentions to pay.

amother

Wheat

Mon, Sep 02 2019, 11:01 am

amother [ Ecru ] wrote:

Your balance is 2 teacher’s salary. So now they have to wait? And how should these teachers pay their bills?
The admission cards are for the parents. They are a reminder that you have an obligation to come down to school and discuss payment. The school sends it in the mail ( snail & email) to the parent. Yes most parents take tuition seriously, but there are plenty (no not a minority) that ignore the situation and insist in sending the child without contacting the school.
Why is it that ok?
We live in a rat race work to pay bills work brings more expenses so work more so more bills so more work ( I left the commas out on purpose) and it’s not getting any better.

amother

Slateblue

Mon, Sep 02 2019, 11:08 am

amother [ Copper ] wrote:

. If you feel the need to be so harsh and judgmental of these parents, based on a few outliers who abuse the system, then so be it. And I'll daven for you that Hashem should never put you in such a situation where such struggles will hit home.

First, daven for yourself. You are telling me not to be judgemental and harsh....very funny that you are judging me too!! I do work full time and come home with my kids. I cant pay for my 3 yr old to go to school so hell have to stay with a babysitter!! Telling me all these things are "needs" is the problem. The only needs here is making sure teachers... get paid. Telling me one needs to only shop in kosher food stores....etc...no...there are cheaper kosher food options ....

This is not a discussion about prioritizing tuition as I was responding to why schools do it.(however, I must respond to your post bec. You seem to think im not working full time and sacrificing...) Stop thinking you are the ONLY ONE who works....and therefore have "needs" above paying schools. Everyone has reasons why they "need" other things....which again you proved my point of not prioritizing.

Anyway, back to op. Op, in my school, they have admission cards but never collected them however, every school is different. And, I would never want to take a chance to possibly affect your child. So, I suggest you straighten it out with the school first.

amother

Azure

Mon, Sep 02 2019, 11:22 am

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

Um....yeah....the school needs $ to pay for salaries, building...etc...just like parents dont just "not pay mortgage" or "not pay for food...camp...clothes..etc" "not pay a wedding/bar mitzva caterer/hall"... so too the school needs a way to insist on $ ....

Im not accusing op(bec some ppl are unfortunately in hard times and some ppl do try to prioritize......but almost everything today requires $ paid BEFORE services. SO, why do ppl think they must pay for camp, new clothes, cleaning help, babysitters, rent/mortgage etc before or on time but for schools, many ppl are ok not paying on time or at all???

It's not the same at all, and this is why:

All other expenses are flexible according to our income. For example, I can choose to live in a smaller apartment and pay less rent. I can buy cheaper food and if I'm eligible I can get section eight and good stamps. I can get cheap clothing/ hand me downs for my kids.

But tuition is fixed. I have x amount of kids, I have to pay x amount of tuition. Even when schools go down, there's a certain minimum you have to pay. And there's no programs to help.

amother

Puce

Mon, Sep 02 2019, 12:38 pm

amother [ Copper ] wrote:

That's one story.

The other story is teachers don't get paid because parents don't prioritize tuition. I taught in a BYHS one year and didn't get paid a dime, yet 93% of the senior class went to Florida spring break and all went to seminary. You can rationalize seminary by saying they won't get a good shidduch unless they go to EY to seminary. But why do the girls merit Florida before tuition? Why all the fantastic shoes and bags floor ghee girls?

I know grandma is alwsys buying the plane tickets and the shoes and bags. And I don't understand the stress the moms have if the daughters aren't put together beyond the uniform.

I call nonsense on all these stories. You contact for a service, then pay for the service, so the teachers can afford gas in their cars to get to work to teach the children you have.

amother

Slateblue

Mon, Sep 02 2019, 1:15 pm

amother [ Azure ] wrote:

Actually, all these "extras" here that others here are saying are "needs"..........for example, camp, heimish brands...prepared snacks....bugalows, seminary(not necessary),
3 yr old school...big weddings, catered bar mitzvas/vorts....are fixed TOO!!

Yes, rent could be cheaper for a smaller apt...but majority of things are fixed with no deductions as I wrote above.

And, if most expenses are not fixed for you, and if you get help with cleaning help, camp, 3 yr old school, catered bar mitzvas, big wedding, bungalows, babysitting, expensive prepared foods, seminary, and others....then good for you....but for a lot of ppl ....they are not getting help with these extras. things...and these other things are also fixed....

amother

Azure

Mon, Sep 02 2019, 1:18 pm

amother [ Slateblue ] wrote:

Boy, that's a lot of assumptions! I don't spend on ANY of the above, just FYI. The schools don't care, they want their money just the same.

amother

Lilac

Mon, Sep 02 2019, 1:30 pm

cbsp wrote:

What I am protesting is the involvement of the child. The child is the one who has to bring it to school and suffers the embarrassment when he doesn't have it. Why does the whole class and the teacher need to know about the parents' financial difficulties?

Because schools feel there’s no alternative.

If they don’t turn the children of nonpaying parents away, in day 1 or day 10 or day 30, then there will always be families who take advantage to never pay.

Just like the single income families who say why should I work if it will all go to tuition. Or who buy big homes because they’ll be able to get more assistance.

It seems like every week, another school closes. Or people Tel us they’re not being paid. Schools need the money.

I’m sorry for those with real financial issues. But the schools feel there’s no alternative.

Btw, if you know your kid is going to be turned away because you haven’t paid, and send him anyway, is it the school humiliating your child, or you.

amother

Copper

Mon, Sep 02 2019, 1:34 pm

amother [ Lilac ] wrote:

What alternative are available to struggling parents? Public school? Keep them out of school?

Being that Private education is considered a must for our children, it's wrong for schools to issue ultimatums to parents who have no place else to put their children. Open up a jewish public school for our children, then all schools will have all the right to issue threats.