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Post Tue, Sep 03 2019, 1:31 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Tangerine 100% well said! We gotta teach them how to stay safe . Just to tell a 15 year old about watching out on inappropriate touching ... I think this needs to be addressed when much younger ... if I havnt ever faced this topic with him before how can I start @ age 15 ? I feel its important to always talk when they younger about it so makes it more comfortable to relate about this when older , I've hardly discussed with him this topic so I'm having hard time exploring it now( I will have to find a way I'm not going to keep quiet) but my younger child I will definitely start to be more open about this.

Each year before camp, during any camp-related discussion, I will once make sure to mention to my teenage girls that "just as a reminder, it's never ok for a/o to touch you anywhere covered by ur bathing suit, no matter if it's a bunkmate, counselor, or even the camp director..." and then we move on to other things.
If you're looking for an opportunity to mention this, I'm sure u'll find one, either before he has some Shabbaton or other getaway, before he uses the mikvah sometime... Just keep it short and cool.
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Post Tue, Sep 03 2019, 1:59 am
Op why is this under ‘healthy cooking’??
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Post Tue, Sep 03 2019, 2:10 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thanks for all replies. I feel much better that it's ok and normal ... I just feel the teen boys need to be protected from ppl that have sickness problems... like where does molest happen? Just from leaving kids too loose and That's what really scares me! I know that daven is the answer. Hope I will beable to calm myself and think more about positive outcomes rather then the other way. Working on myself...

I don't know if this will make you feel better or worse....Most molesters are ppl known to the child - a relative, teacher, neighbour. It is extremely unlikely that anything bad would happen to a teen browsing in a store or travelling home by taxi or public transport (assuming you live in a generally safe area with no mafia, gangs or drugs).

Most people in the world are decent human beings. But a headline: "man in shop helps teen find book" or "teen who got on wrong bus helped by friendly passenger" wouldn't sell papers. So the media publishes the one-in-ten-thousand story where something bad happens.

Many, many teens go shopping on their own/with friends, take public transport and taxis on their own/with friends and have never had anything bad happen to them. Not only that, but it has been a completely positive experience for them, enabling them to develop skills and independence that will stand in them good stead as healthy adults.

Good luck!

PS writing this as the mother of a teen and two pre-teens.
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Post Tue, Sep 03 2019, 2:36 am
A 15 year-old should certainly be able to go to the store by himself. A sforim store? Sounds about as safe as you can get.

Teach him about body safety, of course. But you are not doing him (or yourself) any favors by assuming by default that every single person out there is a child molester.

That's not a healthy way to live.
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