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Candy and soda at school
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thegiver




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 08 2019, 6:51 am
My 5yo is being given things I cant stand and comes home moody and raging at me. Cant help but think its the effect of the sugar. Plus it doesnt help concentration. Plus cavities. Plus addictive element. Plus alters taste bud perception for natural sugars.

Spoke to teachers and menahel and didnt help. Now what! Has anyone tackled this issue before successfully?

Arent there alternatives to reward learning? Also shabbos parties can be toned down.

Parents are to blame too for the younger ones bec they send in the nosh and teachers are too kind to regulate it. Ive told teachers my kids dont eat candy. It was useless.

What about the hashgacha of candy. Is it ever an issue)

Is there anything I can do??? Do petitions do anything?
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amother




Babypink


Post  Sun, Sep 08 2019, 7:11 am
I think your a bit extreme. Having some candy is part of being a kid. I have seen first hand where kids go begging for junk because mom doesnt let. Soda is a different story in my eyes it's worse than candy. But as a parent you can:
1- Provide your kid with healthy snack. Hopefully if he eats his healthy snack first he wont want the junk
2-rell your kid whatever he bring to you unopened, can be traded for something even better
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DrMom




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 08 2019, 7:14 am
A lot of this depends on school policies. There are schools with "no candy" policies. Sounds like your school isn't one of them... Speechless
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thegiver




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 08 2019, 8:38 am
They have that policy but no one abides by it.
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amother




Olive


Post  Sun, Sep 08 2019, 10:51 am
thegiver wrote:
My 5yo is being given things I cant stand and comes home moody and raging at me. Cant help but think its the effect of the sugar. Plus it doesnt help concentration. Plus cavities. Plus addictive element. Plus alters taste bud perception for natural sugars.

Spoke to teachers and menahel and didnt help. Now what! Has anyone tackled this issue before successfully?

Arent there alternatives to reward learning? Also shabbos parties can be toned down.

Parents are to blame too for the younger ones bec they send in the nosh and teachers are too kind to regulate it. Ive told teachers my kids dont eat candy. It was useless.

What about the hashgacha of candy. Is it ever an issue)

Is there anything I can do??? Do petitions do anything?


Im posting as anon because I'm very vocal about this IRL.

Im not sure which community you are from, but in my community this is the norm, and I can't understand it. How can we expect our kids to behave well and learn well etc., when we feed them literal poison? I just began sending my son to cheder and I am cringing. Maybe I can PM you and we can discuss it? I'm in Monsey if that makes a difference
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southernbubby




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 08 2019, 11:02 am
You have to find a few like minded parents to work out a policy. There are plenty of people who question how much candy is safe so you are not alone.
With schools, letters from doctors and dentists often are more important than what parents think and in many frum communities, there are some medical and dental practices that are used by a high percentage of the community.
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sub




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 08 2019, 11:03 am
Most schools today have a mezonos, haetz and haadama policy. And only water. Some schools don’t allow any nosh for parties, the teacher collects a set amount from each parent and purchases the nosh. Perhaps you can suggest this idea to your child’s teacher.
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amother




Olive


Post  Sun, Sep 08 2019, 11:07 am
sub wrote:
Most schools today have a mezonos, haetz and haadama policy. And only water. Some schools don’t allow any nosh for parties, the teacher collects a set amount from each parent and purchases the nosh. Perhaps you can suggest this idea to your child’s teacher.


Unfortunately Not in the schools I know Banging head
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amother




Olive


Post  Sun, Sep 08 2019, 11:08 am
southernbubby wrote:
You have to find a few like minded parents to work out a policy. There are plenty of people who question how much candy is safe so you are not alone.
With schools, letters from doctors and dentists often are more important than what parents think and in many frum communities, there are some medical and dental practices that are used by a high percentage of the community.


That is a good idea. Thank you!
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unexpected




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Sep 08 2019, 11:16 am
thegiver wrote:
They have that policy but no one abides by it.

My school does not give out any nosh and up until 1st grade no snack is allowed at all. The school provides. However, I am one of the parents who does not abide. First off, the only reason my little kids are excited to go to school every day is because they want to put snack in their briefcase. Secondly, my kids all get nauseous from long car rides and I give them gum in the mornings to help them cope on the bus. It really works! And I'm so glad that no one is enforcing the "strict no gum policy" because I would literally have to drive my kids to school every day. I'm sorry for the parents who feel pressured by my rule breaking but the truth is most of the people who send in candies and snacks when they are not supposed to are doing it because everyone else is doing it. And the schools don't feel like it's "bad enough" to stop it... I really think if you try to get other parents on board with you you won't get far because for most parents its not something worth fighting about. The only thing you can do is find something that appeals to your kid that is not as bad as what he's trading for or wait until his system gets used to the sugar and doesn't affect him as much.
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amother




Pink


Post  Sun, Sep 08 2019, 11:20 am
Tell them your kid is allergic to candy or food coloring. They must comply when it’s an allergy, right?
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thegiver




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Sep 09 2019, 12:14 pm
amother [ Pink ] wrote:
Tell them your kid is allergic to candy or food coloring. They must comply when it’s an allergy, right?


Tried that already lol they didnt buy it
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thegiver




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Sep 09 2019, 12:16 pm
amother [ Olive ] wrote:
Im posting as anon because I'm very vocal about this IRL.

Im not sure which community you are from, but in my community this is the norm, and I can't understand it. How can we expect our kids to behave well and learn well etc., when we feed them literal poison? I just began sending my son to cheder and I am cringing. Maybe I can PM you and we can discuss it? I'm in Monsey if that makes a difference


If I talk about I will be fuming. I agree with u wholeheartedly. Literally losing sleep over it. Most moms dont care because they think it is a losing battle. To me its chemicals loss of attention span rotting teeth and a denigrating attitude towards normal food that I am worried about
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Sep 09 2019, 12:23 pm
OP, I hear you. If the school won't listen, it's impossible. A 5yo wants to fit in, and doesn't have the impulse control to say no. It's so unfair!

DD went to a school like that. Up until then, candy was only one piece on Shabbos. She'd never even seen soda. On top of that, she had a very bad reaction to lactose.

She would come home from school CRAZY, climbing the walls, yelling, running around in circles like a toy that was wound up too tight. Then she'd eventually collapse and sob in exhaustion. It was heartbreaking to see her system so messed up.

I told the school she was lactose intolerant, but they still gave her pizza and ice cream on Rosh Chodesh. I told them that sugar was too much for her, but that was the culture of the school. "You said aleph, have a candy. You said bet, have a candy..."

I went on Amazon and ordered her a big bag of candy without any dye, organic, and was flavored with natural fruit juice. I sent a note saying that when every other kid had candy, she should get one out of the bag. This candy was very expensive!

A few days later there was a sub, and even though the note was taped to the bag, she decided that it wasn't fair that DD got anything special, so she gave the bag out to the whole class all at once. I was furious, but what could I do?

Lunches were another problem. There was a no meat policy, and DD couldn't have dairy, so I had a really hard time finding good parve lunches for her. She was going through a really picky stage.

Then the bullying started, by the kid of a very famous rabbi who basically paid for the whole building. Again, there was nothing I could do.

When DD refused to go back to that school after first grade, I was actually relived.
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mha3484




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Sep 09 2019, 12:29 pm
I aim for a balanced approach to sugar and junk food. My kids eat a healthy breakfast and dinner, lunch is somewhere in the middle and snacks are also somewhere between. As an adult, my own habits are pretty similar. I like junk food too sometimes. Its ok to enjoy cookies or ice cream or cake.

My kids school rarely uses food as a reward. In the older grades, the rebbeim give out tickets and they get tchockes instead. When they make a siyum the kids take turns bringing in treats so its usually around 3 types of nosh for the whole class to share.

In the youngest grade, the kids have shabbos party each week where one kid brings a treat and the other grape juice so its a a cookie or two per kid which I think is fine. The nursery school offers their own hot lunch that is totally optional to participate. Its not the healthiest okay so you dont have to sign up. A mother at orientation was going on and on about it and I wanted to say something super snarky lol.

When we had back to school night in Pre1a the rebbe clearly told all of us to bring A treat for the class but not to over do it so a cupcake or donut per kid is great but no pekelach needed. I also noticed they time the birthdays so that its right before recess so the kids can run off the sugar. This really set a tone for our class that is now in third grade. We all just send a small treat for the class to share on a birthday and no one sends extra. I think it has to come from the parents in the end of the day.
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SixOfWands




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Sep 09 2019, 12:39 pm
amother [ Olive ] wrote:
Im posting as anon because I'm very vocal about this IRL.

Im not sure which community you are from, but in my community this is the norm, and I can't understand it. How can we expect our kids to behave well and learn well etc., when we feed them literal poison? I just began sending my son to cheder and I am cringing. Maybe I can PM you and we can discuss it? I'm in Monsey if that makes a difference


Wow. Children in your kids' schools are being fed "literal poison"? Please call the police and CPS immediately. Children DIE of poison. And there's a risk that your children could eat it too. What is it? Strychnine? Arsenic? It will be important for the doctors to know.

Oh, I'm sorry. They're eating things that you don't want your kids to eat, and instead of controlling your own kids, you want to control what everyone else eats.

Did you know that controlled studies have failed to confirm any effect of sugar on hyperactivity and effects on inattention have been equivocal at worst. Yeah, kids can be expected to behave and learn well even if they eat sugar frosted flakes, because its all a myth.

3 of my 4 never cared for candy. They'd have one piece, or give it all away. (The 4th takes after me.) I never sent it for any of my kids, and they all survived.

Sure, schools should try to model good nutrition by offering healthful treats. But stop with the histrionics.
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keym




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Sep 09 2019, 12:42 pm
I've found talking to schools about balance approach works.
Shabbos party, we have one mezonos (wafers, cookies, pretzels) one haadama (chips, popcorn), one small shehakol (small candy).
It's not healthy, but it's more moderate.
My boys schools are much better about siyums encouraging real fleishig seuda. So the school provides rolls and cold cuts, and the boys bring in kugel, pickles, hot peppers, Frank's and blanks, and a bit of cake, candy, and soda. Also the rebbe assigns only part of the class to bring stuff, other kids are assigned choir, divrei Torah, or decorations. Again not really healthy, but not total junk.
When I spoke to schools about giving up junk, they weren't receptive. When I discussed replacing with cholent, kugel, and pickles, there was way more interest.
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SixOfWands




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Sep 09 2019, 12:43 pm
amother [ Pink ] wrote:
Tell them your kid is allergic to candy or food coloring. They must comply when it’s an allergy, right?


PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS. YOU ARE ENDANGERING THE LIVES OF CHILDREN WITH REAL ALLERGIES.

Because the day will come when teachers, and other students, see your kid having junk food. And if your "allergic" kid is fine, why shouldn't I send the granola bar with tree nuts. Except that's going to kill the kid who really is allergic.

Allergies are real, serious health issues. Don't pretend your kids has them because your kid eats things that you don't want him to.
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amother




Tan


Post  Mon, Sep 09 2019, 12:56 pm
thegiver wrote:
My 5yo is being given things I cant stand and comes home moody and raging at me. Cant help but think its the effect of the sugar. Plus it doesnt help concentration. Plus cavities. Plus addictive element. Plus alters taste bud perception for natural sugars.

Spoke to teachers and menahel and didnt help. Now what! Has anyone tackled this issue before successfully?

Arent there alternatives to reward learning? Also shabbos parties can be toned down.

Parents are to blame too for the younger ones bec they send in the nosh and teachers are too kind to regulate it. Ive told teachers my kids dont eat candy. It was useless.

What about the hashgacha of candy. Is it ever an issue)

Is there anything I can do??? Do petitions do anything?


Hugs. I totally feel you. I am trying so hard to keep my kids from eating garbage and the schools and the camps are fighting a battle with me that I can't win.
I really believe this stuff is toxic garbage and I really don't want it in my kids bodies.
BUT....
At some point I had to just accept it. This is what is both cheap and fun and it isn't going to disappear from school or camp.
And my own personal health beliefs around food - while I do feel strongly about them - are not Torah m'Sinai. So I have come to accept that my children are going to have some soda and some candy and more often then I would like.
What I can do is make sure that everything they are eating at home is really, really clean and healthy. That's it.
I don't tell them anymore that they can't have soda and candy at school because then they start to lie about it and that's worse than eating the garbage!
So I do my best at home and I accept that they are going to eat some junk and what the outcome will be for their teeth, their behavior from sugar, their overall health, etc. is in Hashem's hands. I do my part. He will do His.
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chanatron1000




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Sep 09 2019, 12:58 pm
Everything can be considered poison, depending on the dosage.
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