Adjusting to the baby

amother

Sun, Sep 08 2019, 12:34 pm

I just had a baby last week, b"H.
I have a 3 year old, also. He is such an easy kid. Never gives me an issue with anything. Plays for hours by himself. He is overall a very happy, easy going, pleasure of a cutie pie. Now that the baby is here, he is acting out a bit. This was expected, and I understand that it's totally normal and common.
I just feel so bad for him! He's such a good boy, and now he has to share his mommy with a teeny "intruder". Everyone who comes to visit brings tons of toys for him, and he is so happy about that. But I still feel so bad for him. I read with him when Baby is napping. We play together with his trucks and color, and he "helps" me get Baby dressed.
But he's still sad while he's adjusting. Any ideas for me? I really don't want him to feel neglected.

shmosmom

Sun, Sep 08 2019, 1:11 pm

Wow!
First of all Mazel Tov! Hope you are feeling ok! First priority would have to be to rest, rest, rest. Your body went thru trauma and needs to recuperate.
For your question about your toddler, sounds like you're doing everything right. I'd get a book about mommy having a new baby, being an older brother, etc.
Kudos to you for giving him so much attention when you probably just want to sleep... but also remember to rest up yourself.

amother

Burlywood

Sun, Sep 08 2019, 1:15 pm

Pretty much exactly in the same situation.
Janet Lansbury stuff is amazing for this.

I call the new baby "your baby" (can you bring your baby a diaper, I have to go nurse your baby now) and I also still call my toddler "my baby" I never say it's time to be big now. I say mommy has two babies, a big yingele/maidele baby and a little new baby.

Also we play a fun game: baby do you want pizza? Noooo that is only for toddler. Baby do you want to go to Morah, eat lunch, go to the park etc, nooooo.
And in the reverse: toddler do you want to sleep in the crib? Nooooo that is only for baby! Toddler is too big for the crib!
It's really helping with possessiveness and boundaries

When toddler acts out by trying to hit baby or touch head too much I say "I have to keep your baby safe" and remove from the situation.

amother

Sun, Sep 08 2019, 1:21 pm

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

That sounds amazing I'm gonna try it. I'll check out Janet Lansbury!

shmosmom

Sun, Sep 08 2019, 2:05 pm

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

Wow! Lots of really smart mothers on this forum, that sounds really good, toddler friendly and not too hard to implement.

amother

Burlywood

Sun, Sep 08 2019, 2:27 pm

shmosmom wrote:

Wow! Lots of really smart mothers on this forum, that sounds really good, toddler friendly and not too hard to implement.

Ty, would love to take the compliment under my name but yes I very loudly irl recommend Janet Lansbury and I obviously just had a baby so combined with my past posts it would totally give my sn away.