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-> Fashion and Beauty
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amother
Firebrick
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 Fri, Apr 02 2021, 2:27 pm
If you read the lubavitch Rebbes teshuva carefully he said that a tichel that covers all the hair properly is good, his concern with tichels was that women would slip them off their heads in embarrassment and a wig is harder to just slip off (when he gave this teshuva many women in the us were not covering their hair) - today frum women that are wearing tichels are not going to slip them off their head
Many many Rabbanim praised tichels, it was the way Jewish women covered their hair for thousands of years and it was never a halachic dispute (many Gedolim asured the use of wigs, and those were old ugly wigs)
Standing out by being more modest is never an issue, is it a problem to wear short sleeves among women wearing long sleeves? Standing out in a way that attracts mens attention is not tznius.
The whole point of covering ones hair is to stand out to men that you are not available - and to look prettiest at home, not in the street. Tichels accomplish that very well.
Most Rabbanim when asked will tell you how praiseworthy it is to wear a tichel. How could it not be mehudar
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PeanutMama
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Fri, Apr 02 2021, 2:28 pm
| amother [ Jade ] wrote: | | But there are just as many Rabbanim (or more?!) That don't hold that tichels are the best way to cover our heads. |
Why do they oppose tichels?
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amother
Firebrick
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Fri, Apr 02 2021, 2:32 pm
And actually since its Pesach- women might find this interesting.
If one researches the origin of all wigs- they actually originated in ancient Egypt! Not from the Jewish people but from the Egyptian men and women. They shaved their heads because of the major problem with lice then but then to look nice and fashionable they invented the idea of wearing wigs on top. They wore wigs for fashion and status, they had wig factories and stylists, they were even buried with their wigs so they could take their beauty in to the afterlife. They considered wigs to be beauty accessories. They even had human hair wigs
That's the origin of the wig
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amother
cornflower
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Fri, Apr 02 2021, 2:35 pm
We will follow the Lubavitcher Rebbe’s instruction over anyone particularly imamother posters anyday.
You do you- hopefully the right/best thing
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amother
Denim
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Fri, Apr 02 2021, 2:47 pm
I'm not Lubavitch, but if the rebbe said to wear sheitels, even beautiful ones, that doesn't mean he approved of extremely natural-looking ones that appear to be growing out of people's heads. Just saying.
Also, b'dieved might be right for you in your particular community/circumstance etc, but that doesn't make it l'chatchila across the board. In the book about Henny Machlis, Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller (now Gottlieb, but she'll always be Rebbetzin Heller to me!) says that a tichel is number one and a shaitel is number two and though it's okay to do number two, don't mistake it for number one. Again, if your rav doesn't agree, fine by me, but many rabbonim hold this way so to pretend otherwise is facetious.
The knee-jerk reaction to this is on this site incredible. Rebbetzin Zahava Braunstein spoke about this. She said something like, "Why is it when someone is greater than me in, say, tefillah or chessed, I admire them and aspire to be like them but when they're greater than me in tznius, my reaction is 'I'm not chassidish' or 'I'm not a rebbetzin'?"
Guys, let's be intellectually honest. If your rav says it's fine, great, and keep wearing it. But many poskim disagree and to make people who follow those poskim seem or feel ridiculous isn't just intellectually wrong but morally wrong. Let's celebrate people who are striving to improve, even if we aren't on that level, or even if we think it's not an improvement at all, but their rav does.
FTR, I wear a wig.
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itsmeima
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Fri, Apr 02 2021, 3:08 pm
| amother [ Cerise ] wrote: | | I don't know how to say this and not sound judgemental, but I'm very curious, what's the difference between your hair and your neighbors hair? I'm not allowed to wear my hair so I'll wear my neighbors hair and she will wear my hair and we'll put it on a lace top so it will look like it's growing out of my scalp |
It’s kind of a chok! Technically, you and your neighbor can swap hair!
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keym
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Fri, Apr 02 2021, 3:24 pm
I've said this before, and I'll say it now. Everyone follow their Rav and mesorah.
But my husband's RW Litvishe RY told me (in 2005) that he has a mesorah that women should buy very pretty shaitels that they feel beautiful, just not to be the trendsetter in each generation.
In the 80s he instructed his daughters to buy human hair. In the 90s he instructed his daughters to buy customs. In 2000 he instructed his granddaughters and talmidims wives (like me) to buy skin part multi-directional shaitels.
He encouraged women to style their shaitels how they felt beautiful- beachy curls, stick straight with bangs, sleek, side parts.
He passed away recently but he definitely made it clear that pretty stylish shaitels we're lichatchila and not bidieved to a tichel.
When his granddaughters would wear snoods to his house, he would ask if they have a comfortable shaitel? Do they need money for a new shaitel? What about a pony shaitel?
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amother
Violet
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Fri, Apr 02 2021, 4:37 pm
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Keym did he also say why?
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keym
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Fri, Apr 02 2021, 4:40 pm
| amother [ Violet ] wrote: | | Keym did he also say why? |
Why what?
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amother
Cyan
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Fri, Apr 02 2021, 4:50 pm
| keym wrote: | | women should buy very pretty shaitels that they feel beautiful, just not to be the trendsetter in each generation. |
This is what I was told (Lakewood)
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amother
Cyan
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Fri, Apr 02 2021, 4:51 pm
| amother [ Violet ] wrote: | | Keym did he also say why? | Do you mean, why should they buy shaitels that make them feel pretty? That does seem unusual. Mostly what I’ve heard is that it’s ok to wear them and it’s also ok not to.
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amother
Cobalt
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Fri, Apr 02 2021, 4:55 pm
| itsmeima wrote: | | It’s kind of a chok! Technically, you and your neighbor can swap hair! |
You can even make a wig of your own hair.
There is a company that does it for around $1,000.
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keym
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Fri, Apr 02 2021, 4:57 pm
| amother [ Violet ] wrote: | | Keym did he also say why? |
If you're asking why women should wear shaitels and feel beautiful, it's because that was traditionally the way for women. We CAN wear a potato sack, but we wear nice dresses, skirts, shirts.
The Gemara says that our husbands should buy us nice clothing and jewelry for yom tov. The midrashim say that perfume and cosmetics fell together with the man in the midbar. Ezra established rules that the perfume and cosmetics sellers would travel to all the far-flung villages.
He held that the Torah Way was for women to lichatchila wear more beautiful. And he held a shaitel was not halachicly bidieved and therefore better to be worn- as per his Rebbi also.
If a woman said that she preferred a tichel or hat look, or thought she looked more beautiful, that was fine. It wasn't to push shaitels.
But most women in my world feel more beautiful in a shaitel.
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amother
Cyan
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Fri, Apr 02 2021, 5:03 pm
| amother [ Cobalt ] wrote: | You can even make a wig of your own hair.
There is a company that does it for around $1,000. | Most people hold that you’re not supposed to wear your own hair.
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amother
Floralwhite
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Fri, Apr 02 2021, 5:30 pm
| 1ofbillions wrote: | Seriously? This is what you’re worrying about? 🤦♀️
Mind your own business. If you want to make the world a better place, work on your middos. Leave everyone else alone. |
Yes. I worry about it too. My husband asked daas torah from a few rabbanim and ALL said its forbidden.
It's against halacha
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amother
Floralwhite
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Fri, Apr 02 2021, 5:32 pm
| Hashem_n_Farfel wrote: | | Why do they oppose tichels? |
Because you can see the form of the head officially. At least they say that in meah shearim
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amother
Cyan
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Fri, Apr 02 2021, 5:34 pm
| keym wrote: | If you're asking why women should wear shaitels and feel beautiful, it's because that was traditionally the way for women. We CAN wear a potato sack, but we wear nice dresses, skirts, shirts.
The Gemara says that our husbands should buy us nice clothing and jewelry for yom tov. The midrashim say that perfume and cosmetics fell together with the man in the midbar. Ezra established rules that the perfume and cosmetics sellers would travel to all the far-flung villages.
He held that the Torah Way was for women to lichatchila wear more beautiful. And he held a shaitel was not halachicly bidieved and therefore better to be worn- as per his Rebbi also.
If a woman said that she preferred a tichel or hat look, or thought she looked more beautiful, that was fine. It wasn't to push shaitels.
But most women in my world feel more beautiful in a shaitel. | Oh yes I did know that. I can’t say I’m good about following it though.
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PeanutMama
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Fri, Apr 02 2021, 5:57 pm
| amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote: | | Because you can see the form of the head officially. At least they say that in meah shearim |
Ah that makes sense. Some people wear some type of foam thing under
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honey36
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Fri, Apr 02 2021, 6:03 pm
I'm surprised so many people are saying that many Rabbanim are saying the lace tops are assur. I'm just so confused, because as others have said, most wigs these days are so natural looking, not just the lace tops, so what's really the difference?
I'm curious if our rav (very yeshivish but from older generation) even knows what a lace top is. When we asked him years ago why wigs in general are muttar, he said the halacha is to cover hair, it doesn't matter what you cover with. Period, end of discussion. Therefore I wouldn't even think to ask a rav before getting one.
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azn722
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Fri, Apr 02 2021, 6:16 pm
| honey36 wrote: | I'm surprised so many people are saying that many Rabbanim are saying the lace tops are assur. I'm just so confused, because as others have said, most wigs these days are so natural looking, not just the lace tops, so what's really the difference?
I'm curious if our rav (very yeshivish but from older generation) even knows what a lace top is. When we asked him years ago why wigs in general are muttar, he said the halacha is to cover hair, it doesn't matter what you cover with. Period, end of discussion. Therefore I wouldn't even think to ask a rav before getting one. |
Yes, in the Gemara it describes women who wear a basket to market on their heads
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