New clothes for YT when they already have? WWYD?

seeker

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 10:42 am

I take simchas yom tov seriously. Halacha recommends new clothes and I have always made a point of having new clothes for my kids for at least Succos and Pesach (Shavuos comes so soon after Pesach! Sorry but nothing to do about that...)

At the moment, my kids need nothing. They have PLENTY of clothes. Too much, if anything. The new clothes they got last Pesach still fit nicely and some are only mildly springy so they still work fine. Some of their clothes from last winter still fit. We also have some hand-me-downs that are beautiful and in beautiful condition - as in, the kids were EXCITED to have them, talked about being in LOVE with them, etc.

Now DD is asking for a new outfit for yom tov, not a hand me down, just for the sake of having something special and exciting for yom tov, because I have always made that a priority to some extent or another.

Not sure what to do. It seems so wasteful if we have a closet full of lovely clothes to go out and buy something new. My budget isn't unlimited either, I'm actually feeling a drop pinched now, though if she didn't already have clothes I would happily make it happen.

As noted on other thread I am already working hard to find her new shoes for YT. She says that's "not the same" and she "always has a new outfit for yom tov" and she's not exactly wrong, and I don't want to have to disappoint her on it because it is very important to me to make Yom Tov very happy and fun... trust me I'm not usually in the habit of spoiling my kids and getting everything they want which is why this feels like such a dilemma. For various reasons yom tov is hard for us and I try to completely drown that out.

Chocomama

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 10:50 am

Would she go for an explanation of what you wrote? And then maybe working out a compromise by buying a piece of costume jewelry, a "rosh chodesh/ chol hamoed" sweater, or a nicer headband (those things cost a fortune in the hosiery stores!)?

This summer, I didn't buy my daughter a new robe because her last year's one was fine. She was really upset about it. We compromised on us buying a sleeveless maxi dress from Target to put on top of a white shell which she had. She loved it and wore it all summer and it wasn't nearly as expensive as her old one from the Jewish stores.

I'm of the opinion that these things matter a lot to girls and truthfully it did to me when I was younger. I'd rather go cheap on food and use the money find an acceptable compromise. So if I can find a full outfit that's great, but still get something new. But I totally hear the other way, too. I think it depends on how much it means to the child and how important it is at that time in relation to whatever else is happening in her life.

imanonymous

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 10:52 am

tichellady wrote:

I would say that she can get a new headband or accessory ( belt, earrings etc) but there’s no need for a new outfit every yomtov if her closet is full. I personally try to get a pedicure before yomtov on years when new clothing isn’t what I need or possible for me

I've gotten new makeup when I can't get clothing.

Getting a new accessory is often a great way to spice up an older outfit.

southernbubby

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 10:56 am

I never asked a Rav but from what it sounds like to me from the good old days, many people simply changed something about an older garment, such as the collar. When we read about the poverty that existed in the shtetel, it is hard to believe that everyone in the house wore entirely new clothes on YomTov and where did the money come from so that the wife got new jewelry?

Also, you are running out of time. When would you be doing this shopping?
Would she be satisfied with a pretty new necklace or earrings from an accessories store rather than an expensive jewelry store? You can dress up something with new jewelry.

SixOfWands

Wed, Sep 25 2019, 11:57 am

How old is she?

She may have a closet full of clothes, but to the extent that they're hand me downs, they're clothes that someone else picked out, and that while someone might think are lovely, aren't precisely what she would choose. Particularly if she's at an age where she doesn't outgrow quickly, it might be nice to let her buy one thing, to change up an outfit -- a new blouse or vest of sweater that will change a look, if not a whole new outfit. Or, as others said, a piece of jewelry, or a hair ornament.

Shana tova.