Be honest, if you're into fashion....

amother

Fri, Oct 04 2019, 12:47 pm

...how do you look at your friends/neighbors who are not into fashion and buy whatever's good priced that looks good. Like if I dress my children in neat put together clothing that's not out out of fashion but it's something that came into fashion like 5 years ago while there's many newer trends...what do you think? Do you look down in any way or feel that you're better, more with it? Are you happy you're not me? Do you think I don't have it together? Do you not want to be friends with me?

amother

Chocolate

Fri, Oct 04 2019, 12:52 pm

This is the flip side - I have a neighbor who is in her 30s with 6 kids all immaculately dressed. The girls $130 shabbos shoes stayed white all summer. Shes super thin and wears a lot of designer. I mostly feel bad for her. A- because she doesnt come from money and she works REALLY hard to be able to have this lifestyle that for some dumb reason is important to her B- because ive been by her basement tenant and heard the way she yells at her kids. I always wondered how her kids stayed so clean Wink

now I know!

33055

Fri, Oct 04 2019, 12:56 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I will notice but won't have a judgment beyond that.

dankbar

Fri, Oct 04 2019, 1:09 pm

I used to feel bad for the little kids who were dressed to the T, with pressure not to get dirty, who couldn't join all our fun games/projects/crafts in preschool, I taught. They weren't even cute with their sour faces when we all had fun.
Another teacher once asked me, if I don't like the better dressed students more & give them preferential treatment? I responded absolutely not! I don't notice what they wear, I view them all as precious neshomos!

dankbar

Fri, Oct 04 2019, 1:20 pm

It also depends if you are wearing stuff like grandma from 100 years ago, then people will notice, you stand out.
Or normal clothing that's still current, not the trendiest newest fashion but not old fashioned? Then you are ok. ( to those onlookers but you do you- if you have certain style taste, but more to offer/intelligence/kindness/excude confidence-people will see that)
If you are on the ball with latest shtick to the minute, you will rather be looked at as a fashionista, unless that's the crowd you are surrounded with & feel you need to measure up.
Anyway wear what you like, not what your neighbor likes! You try to impress her & she tries to impress you!
I always go shopping on my own & buy what I like! When I go with someone else, I feel like I end up buying/ wearing what someone else likes, not necessarily what I like!

Lesia

Fri, Oct 04 2019, 1:23 pm

I like fashion only for myself, it does not extend to my kids. I don’t do trends at all, I just wear what I like.
I may notice what other people do but don’t really care. It wouldn’t change my opinion of anyone.

amother

Forestgreen

Fri, Oct 04 2019, 1:27 pm

To be quite honest, in my experience people who are well-dressed are treated better than those who are not.
I don’t know if that extends to children.
I think being clean and neat is more important than being up to date.

amother

Natural

Fri, Oct 04 2019, 1:35 pm

Okay. So I'm a normal, well dressed individual who can afford designer names Baruch Hashem, but I don't choose to use my money that way. I have other priorities.

I have a sweet sweet sister, ten years younger, and the only thing she lives for is to be on trend, ahead of the trend or as close to it as she can afford. She would put a $5 dress on her kids so long as it's on trend. No. She can't afford designer threads but she is obsessed. She never ever feels pretty. She never feels comfortable at any occasion. She always thinks the people around her are so awesome and trendy and skinny and gorgeous. She feels fat and ugly.

She's a gorgeous size 6. She just doesn't know it and somehow will never believe it no matter how many times she's told.

OP. It's all in the attitude. Feel pretty, pretty comes across. Feel ugly, that comes across too.

amother

Violet

Fri, Oct 04 2019, 1:36 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Yes, I am into fashion. Yes, I love buying nice things for my kids. They're a little too old for that now, but I'm going to confess that I still buy them things, and endure the occasional eye rolls.

No, I don't care how you dress your kids.

I will notice if your kids' hair is never brushed, or if they wear ill-fitting or stained clothes all the time, or if you do something weird (IMNSHO) like put your 4 year old daughter in heels. But the most I'd ever do is maybe offer you hand me downs if the sizes and genders work.

amother

Cerise

Fri, Oct 04 2019, 1:37 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

In a trendy area. That's why I'm asking.

I personally gravitate to people who I sense to be 'like me'. Its not a trait I'm proud of necessarily - but I don't think I'm unique in this.

And really - what people are thinking is far less important than how they are acting.

SuperWify

Fri, Oct 04 2019, 1:40 pm

I don’t care how you dress your kids. I’m friends with all kinds.
But I enjoy dressing me and my son up to date. And if someone asks for fashion advice or ordering help I’m glad to assist.

professor

Fri, Oct 04 2019, 1:46 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

OMG I am so sorry!! It never occurred to me to wonder what anyone thinks when I Leave my house in shmattes and my kids run around like shluchs

amother

Fuchsia

Fri, Oct 04 2019, 1:53 pm

I care way more about people's midos, personality traits, and pleasantness than about what they wear. I usually don't notice or care what people wear. Unless it is something unusual or striking or fun and aesthetically pleasing-- and then I will appreciate the person's sense of style.

Fashion for me is important, and it helps me feel good about myself. It's never about keeping up with others or impressing others. It's about me and how I feel personally and how I want to express myself.

dankbar

Fri, Oct 04 2019, 2:03 pm

Trendy stuff are not always befitting/flattering/practical.

I got my boys the trendier suede shabbos shoes this season only for them to be covered in sand on yom tov, which is now harder to clean than leather.
The new tight fitting ribbed tops don't work for my fuller child. I rather he look good than in style.
If I would start wearing pleated/ gathered/A line skirts or sack like dresses that are in now I would look like 3 houses. I Rather stick to straight skirts that are more slimming than be on trend.

GreenEyes26

Fri, Oct 04 2019, 2:36 pm

I can’t hold myself back anymore from saying the term “up to date” is just like the most NY Chareidi thing ever 🤣 I don’t think people outside the frum Jewish community use that expression anymore, especially in regards to kids fashion.