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Pearl studs on shidduch photo?
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watergirl




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Oct 07 2019, 1:51 pm
BetsyTacy wrote:
I know, I know, I can't actually answer your question but you have piqued my interest.
What does a boy in shidduchim think is a "well put together" girl?
Someone with a flair for style?
Someone who will rack up the bills buying whatever the Jewish world decides in style?

Inquiring minds want to know.


Seriously. If the boy wants specifically a working girl, he should be grateful that she is not presenting herself in her photo as trendy. I am assuming he wants to learn and be supported which is why he is looking for a working girl?

Now, I realize OP did not say that he was DAVKA looking for a girl with a job. I am assuming here.

Does "put together" mean trendy also? Weird. I thought it meant clean clothes, nice lines, matching, nice shoes, hair done, makeup, etc.
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amother




Papaya


Post  Mon, Oct 07 2019, 1:54 pm
Please for the love of G-d...do NOT ask for a picture of the girl for shidduch purposes. It is a tremendous breach of tznius and degrading to the girl. And, you are not showing yourself in a good light as a prospective mother in law, either, IMO.

Each boy will find his kallah beautiful in his own eyes (whether his mother does, or not, becomes somewhat irrelevant at that point), and he should not be seeing the picture in advance either. That is just not appropriate for people who purportedly want to date through the shidduch system (essentially a blind date, every time).

Anon, because I say this all the time IRL, as I have both a boy and a girl in shidduchim.
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s c




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Oct 07 2019, 1:56 pm
Lost for words! Really glad you/your son are focusing on the important things in life.
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zaq




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Oct 07 2019, 2:04 pm
Ugh. Just ugh. I hope OP is making fun. Otherwise, I agree, OP should do the young lady a favor and say no. Just what a girl does NOT need, a future mil who will question and find fault with every little thing she does right down to her jewelry.

FYI, OP, not that it matters, but simple pearl studs are as classic as the diamond solitaire and plain gold wedding band. And the reason why it doesn’t matter is that if you’re the sort of person who would question a girl’s suitability based on the earrings she wears (even if they were giant dangling flamingoes with real feathers) then this girl is better off looking elsewhere.
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amother




Peach


Post  Mon, Oct 07 2019, 2:04 pm
I put on my black pencil skirt, cuz I am on the market.
I paid extra for valet, cuz it's not classy to park it.

But they said pencils are too tight, and I look too trendy.
They said that valets cost too much, and make me look spendy.

I put on my stockings today, so folks see I'm in style.
I picked out my flats with care, so I'll make it to the aisle.

But they said that nude is out of season, I should have worn the black.
They said that guys want girls with heels, too bad about my back.

I put on a pretty ring today, didn't think anyone would mind.
I chose a muted color top so I'd look more refined.

But they said that now I look taken, although my ring is pink.
They said my top made me look dull, bad for shidduchim, they think.

I put on some little studs, so my earrings won't be too showy.
I put my hair in a half-pony so it wouldn't be too flowy.

But they said studs are babyish and make me look out of touch.
They said that my hair made me look like I was trying too much.

...I finally gave up altogether, there's no way to please them all.
It's just one guy that I need; he'll have to make the call.

~

My son wants a skinny girl, zero is what he means.
(Really the guy has no clue - just wants smaller than size 18s.)

My son wants a pretty girl, so I scratched some from my folder.
(But he loves that one you thought too plain - beauty is for the beholder.)

My son wants someone who's smart, so I need report cards shared.
(Turns out he didn't mean GPA, about that he never cared.)

My son wants a girl who can cook, so I'll need to taste her chicken Viennese.
(He just wants someone who can make his favorite, macaroni and cheese.)

~

When it's your son in shidduchim, it may be tough to stay calm.
But remember, they want to marry your son - not to marry his mom.
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amother




Wine


Post  Mon, Oct 07 2019, 2:16 pm
Don't read too much into it. Someone told her to wear pearl studs, as they're pretty classic and couldn't possibly offend anyone.

Or so they thought.
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amother




Aquamarine


Post  Mon, Oct 07 2019, 2:29 pm
watergirl wrote:
Please do this girl a favor and say no.


This.
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essie14




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Oct 07 2019, 3:15 pm
amother [ Peach ] wrote:
I put on my black pencil skirt, cuz I am on the market.
I paid extra for valet, cuz it's not classy to park it.

But they said pencils are too tight, and I look too trendy.
They said that valets cost too much, and make me look spendy.

I put on my stockings today, so folks see I'm in style.
I picked out my flats with care, so I'll make it to the aisle.

But they said that nude is out of season, I should have worn the black.
They said that guys want girls with heels, and there's no turning back.

I put on a pretty ring today, didn't think anyone would mind.
I chose a muted color top so I'd look more refined.

But they said that now I look taken, although my ring is pink.
They said my top made me look dull, bad for shidduchim, they think.

I put on some little studs, so my earrings won't be too showy.
I put my hair in a half-pony so it wouldn't be too flowy.

But they said studs are babyish and make me look out of touch.
They said that my hair made me look like I was trying too much.

I finally gave up altogether, there's no way to please them all.
It's just one guy that I need, and he's the one to make the call.

~

My son wants a skinny girl, zero is what he means.
(Really the guy has no clue - just wants smaller than 18s.)

My son wants a pretty girl, so I scratched some from my folder.
(But he loves that one you thought too plain - beauty is for the beholder.)

My son wants someone who's smart, so I need report cards shared.
(However, turns out grades was not what he meant, he never even cared.)

My son wants a girl who can cook, so I'll need to taste her chicken Viennese.
(He just wants someone who can make his favorite, macaroni and cheese.)

~

When your son is in shidduchim, it may be tough to stay calm.
But remember, they want to marry your son - not to marry his mom.

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
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amother




Orchid


Post  Mon, Oct 07 2019, 3:21 pm
Oy OP, I sincerely hope this question is a joke. If not, please for the sake of this girl and all other girls on the market, say no to this girl. And please don't listen to any more shidduchim till you and your son are put into place.
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amother




Honeydew


Post  Mon, Oct 07 2019, 3:21 pm
I wear Pearl studs and I'm pretty much trendy.
Reason #1.
It's the most comfortable for my sensitive ear lobes. I can't wear loops or anything too big.
Reason #2.
I love pearls. I think they look beautiful on everyone and are always a classic.
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sky




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Oct 07 2019, 3:22 pm
What would a put together girl wear? I’m really curious what the correct answer is.

Long dangling? too modern
Colored stones? Too trendy.
Big hoops? Too with it.
Diamond studs? Must be fake - too showy.
Pearl studs. Too nerdy.
Huggies. Too yeshivish.
Small hanging. Too sheltered


I’m really not sure what the correct answer is here.
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zaq




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Oct 07 2019, 3:31 pm
You left out “no earrings at all”.
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tigerwife




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Oct 07 2019, 3:34 pm
zaq wrote:
You left out “no earrings at all”.


Scandalous.
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amother




Wine


Post  Mon, Oct 07 2019, 3:37 pm
sky wrote:
What would a put together girl wear? I’m really curious what the correct answer is.

Long dangling? too modern
Colored stones? Too trendy.
Big hoops? Too with it.
Diamond studs? Must be fake - too showy.
Pearl studs. Too nerdy.
Huggies. Too yeshivish.
Small hanging. Too sheltered


I’m really not sure what the correct answer is here.


Ear gauges. The answer is ear gauges.
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LittleMissMama




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Oct 07 2019, 3:38 pm
What's interesting about these types of posts is that most of us, after at least a few years of marriage, can agree that what holds a marriage together has nothing to do with how "with it" a person is, how popular they are, etc. So where do women like the OP come from? Why hasn't she learned from her own marriage what's really important?

Small story: My husband's hairline was already a bit receding when we were dating and I remember fixating on it. What if he's bald in just a few years? What if I no longer found him attractive? I really had to tell myself to stop listening to those thoughts. However, he has impeccable middos. And after being together 20 years I can still say this - he is a true mensch. So BH, I married him for his middos and ignored my stupid worry. And 20 years later, his hairline has barely budged. It must be a neis Wink
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amother




Crimson


Post  Mon, Oct 07 2019, 3:53 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Is it the norm for yeshivish working girls to wear studs? I was surprised to see this on a picture sent to me with a resume.

Yes. I have lots of jewellery (real and fashion) but many times when I want a classy look I end up wearing pearl studs. And I consider myself put together.
(But I’m not trendy)
To all posters: this site is meant to be friendly. OP just wants to ask a question, the way she would ask her mother- nothing wrong.
Let the mom and mom in law shaming stop.
She didn’t say she wouldn’t do the shidduch. She’s just asking your opinion about stud earrings , wouldnt you ask your mom/ sister ? Even stupid questions/ observations?
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chanatron1000




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Oct 07 2019, 3:59 pm
Pearl studs are always in. They're a classic for a reason.
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amother




Teal


Post  Mon, Oct 07 2019, 4:02 pm
amother [ Peach ] wrote:
I put on my black pencil skirt, cuz I am on the market.
I paid extra for valet, cuz it's not classy to park it.

But they said pencils are too tight, and I look too trendy.
They said that valets cost too much, and make me look spendy.

I put on my stockings today, so folks see I'm in style.
I picked out my flats with care, so I'll make it to the aisle.

But they said that nude is out of season, I should have worn the black.
They said that guys want girls with heels, and there's no turning back.

I put on a pretty ring today, didn't think anyone would mind.
I chose a muted color top so I'd look more refined.

But they said that now I look taken, although my ring is pink.
They said my top made me look dull, bad for shidduchim, they think.

I put on some little studs, so my earrings won't be too showy.
I put my hair in a half-pony so it wouldn't be too flowy.

But they said studs are babyish and make me look out of touch.
They said that my hair made me look like I was trying too much.

I finally gave up altogether, there's no way to please them all.
It's just one guy that I need, and he's the one to make the call.

~

My son wants a skinny girl, zero is what he means.
(Really the guy has no clue - just wants smaller than 18s.)

My son wants a pretty girl, so I scratched some from my folder.
(But he loves that one you thought too plain - beauty is for the beholder.)

My son wants someone who's smart, so I need report cards shared.
(However, turns out grades was not what he meant, he never even cared.)

My son wants a girl who can cook, so I'll need to taste her chicken Viennese.
(He just wants someone who can make his favorite, macaroni and cheese.)

~

When your son is in shidduchim, it may be tough to stay calm.
But remember, they want to marry your son - not to marry his mom.


I. LOVE. THIS.

And OP, please do that girl a favor and say no. I can guarantee she doesn’t want a mil as petty as you.
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SixOfWands




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Oct 07 2019, 4:12 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Is it the norm for yeshivish working girls to wear studs? I was surprised to see this on a picture sent to me with a resume.


Just out of curiosity, what type of earrings would you expect this young woman to wear? Or are you surprised that her ears are pierced?
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shirachadasha




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Oct 07 2019, 4:17 pm
Shidduch crisis?
What shidduch crisis?
What
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