Home

Life's Challenging! What keeps you going? Tips wanted
Previous  1, 2, 3  Next  Last >>
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Interesting Discussions


View latest: 24h 48h 72h


oneofakind




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Oct 28 2019, 1:15 pm
I can't emphasize enough eating regularly, sleeping enough, some sort of exercise preferably outside, online meditations/visualizations/yoga, escaping into a good book or movie, nurturing rituals like leisurely showers/baths, hot drinks.
Acceptance and stopping to blame myself or feeling that I'm intrinsically defective for having this challenge was major.
There is pain and there is suffering. Pain is a natural reaction to what happens to us. Suffering is the added negative meaning we add to the pain.
Refuah Sheleima to all the posters who needed that and Hatzlacha to you and everybody else who needs a Yeshuah.
Back to top

thunderstorm




 
 
 
 

Post  Mon, Oct 28 2019, 1:24 pm
Connecting to Hashem daily and saying Tefillas Todah even when it feels like it couldn’t get worse.

Daily journaling - I express all my feelings and emotions and let whatever comes to my mind out on that paper . I also make sure to insert gratitude into my journaling as well.

Guided meditations on self love and the inner child

I do one thing special for myself that shows I went out of the way to do something for myself . Examples: Massage moisturizing lotion all over my body after a shower .
Put headphones on in bed and listen to relaxing music or watch a self help video.
Apply makeup with more detail and work than usual
Scrapbook
Needlepoint
Apply a face mask
Wear comfy PJs
Hug myself when I fall asleep
Will spend time preparing myself a healthy meal or salad instead of grabbing what I see
Back to top

amother




Vermilion
 

Post  Mon, Oct 28 2019, 1:34 pm
1. Excercise! It's my reset button, no matter how I come in feeling, I always feel great afterwards.

2. Writing! I like to write poems, no rhymes or structure, just whatever comes out directly from my heart. When I read over them weeks later I am always so amazed, and I know I could never write like that in a normal state.

3. Music!

4. 'Mans Search for Meaning' by Victor Frankl. Litterally a lifesaver for me at times, I cant prasie this book enough!!

Much hatzlocha, life is tough!

I'm also thankful for the increased empathy, understanding and perspective I gain with each challenge I go through. Doesnt make it any easier, but it certainly makes you a deeper person!
Back to top

amother




OP
 

Post  Thu, Oct 31 2019, 7:03 pm
I've incorporated several great tips that posters suggested and bh it really helps me cope with my challenges.
We were about to move next week from our tiny apartment, to a large beautiful house- almost my dream home.
The Landlord just backed out, he decided to sell, instead of renting it.
It's frustrating, disappointing and a real bug let-down!
I feel it in my back!!!
Back to top

amother




Floralwhite
 

Post  Thu, Oct 31 2019, 10:24 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I've incorporated several great tips that posters suggested and bh it really helps me cope with my challenges.
We were about to move next week from our tiny apartment, to a large beautiful house- almost my dream home.
The Landlord just backed out, he decided to sell, instead of renting it.
It's frustrating, disappointing and a real bug let-down!
I feel it in my back!!!

Ouch Sad
Hope you find something amazing real soon
Back to top

thegiver




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Oct 31 2019, 10:38 pm
Read parsha or look at where we are in the jewish calendar. See how your challenges are part of this weeks sedra. You are living a universal jewish feeling. Everyone is stressed during parshas noach. (Now) Everyone feels tension and malaise during av. Everyone feels anticipation or dread during elul. Everyone feels restless before pesach. Obviously I cant speak for everyone Wink
Back to top

Choirmistress




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Nov 01 2019, 8:16 am
Others have already responded, so excuse me if any of this is repetitious:
Take a walk. Even just five minutes. It will clear your head.
Take a drink of water. Or, if you're spoiled like me for flavour, a sports drink or even fruit juice.
Music. Find at least five "anti-earworm" pick-me-ups that never fail to cheer you up. Rotate among them. I have a few Jewish ones and several secular ones ("Acapulco 1922" by Tijuana Brass, "Ame Caline/Soul Coaxing" (instrumental version rather than vocal), and practically anything by ABBA, The Carpenters, John Denver, Anne Murray,...)
A hobby. I'm a nut for jigsaw (among many other) puzzles, and I must have my "fix" every evening (between supper and sleep). I find that just five to ten minutes satisfies my craving.
Yes, a long, hot bath. WITH CANDLES. Bubble bath is even better.
Chocolate. A truffle a day keeps the blues away (lovely flavonoids and endorphins). Or if you're into hot liquids: coffee, tea, or hot cocoa.
Start a collection of inspirational and/or humorous quotes. Write them on one index card each and pick one or two per day as your guiding thought.
And yes, start a journal if you feel you can keep up the routine.
Start a list of at least five things to be thankful for by the end of each day.
And first, last, and always, KEEP DAVENING. I remember my mother a"h saying once that before his p'tira, my father a"h would often sigh/moan "Vie nemt men koyach?" If I had been there any (let alone every!) time he had said it, I would have answered right away:
"Ezri may'eem Hashem!"
Back to top

amother




OP
 

Post  Sat, Nov 02 2019, 9:19 pm
Girls, I Love your replies!!!
I'll take my bubble bath right now! Signing off.
Gnight Hi
Back to top

amother




Seagreen
 

Post  Sat, Nov 02 2019, 9:48 pm
Wow everyone here is so spiritual and holistic and self nurturing. . Am I the only one that has zero patience for davening and saying tehillim? ..zero patience for a bubble bath? ...I get in , sit in the hot water and then I'm like OK now what? So boring lol! I usually lose patience and get out a minute later.
Am I the only one that doesn't view a hot drink as a form of self care ? Um it's a drink. It isn't going to wash away my pain. It's just food. If I'm thirsty I drink and be done with it..I don't have patience to prolong the act with a hot drink..and anyway I would still be bored. I'd need to DO something while having a hot drink.
Am I the only one that doesn't see moisturizer as a form of self care? When my skin is dry I moisturize . If it isn't I don't. Why waste time on something I don't need?
I have zero patience or interest in journaling.
Im reading everyone's responses and I'm very very definitely feeling like an alien.
I feel like I have zero patience for what everyone else calls self care ! And I am definitely not spiritual.
Back to top

Surrendered




 
 
 
 

Post  Sat, Nov 02 2019, 10:48 pm
Seagreen, you're being human and realistic.
Will all these little pampering wash away your pain? No, but it can help you relax while going through painful situations.

One of my coping skills are listening to personal stories on hotlines, or chizuk hotlines. Though I'm not always in the mood of listening when feeling down.
I too have a hard time davening and saying Tehillim when I feel down and in so much pain.
I just cry. From my heart, without talking.

Can't believe I just said it!
Back to top

pause




 
 
 
 

Post  Sat, Nov 02 2019, 10:55 pm
amother [ Seagreen ] wrote:
Wow everyone here is so spiritual and holistic and self nurturing. . Am I the only one that has zero patience for davening and saying tehillim? ..zero patience for a bubble bath? ...I get in , sit in the hot water and then I'm like OK now what? So boring lol! I usually lose patience and get out a minute later.
Am I the only one that doesn't view a hot drink as a form of self care ? Um it's a drink. It isn't going to wash away my pain. It's just food. If I'm thirsty I drink and be done with it..I don't have patience to prolong the act with a hot drink..and anyway I would still be bored. I'd need to DO something while having a hot drink.
Am I the only one that doesn't see moisturizer as a form of self care? When my skin is dry I moisturize . If it isn't I don't. Why waste time on something I don't need?
I have zero patience or interest in journaling.
Im reading everyone's responses and I'm very very definitely feeling like an alien.
I feel like I have zero patience for what everyone else calls self care ! And I am definitely not spiritual.

Do you want other ideas? I have a huge long list of stuff to do that take you out of the rat race for a bit by getting you to focus on something in the present moment. If you're interested, I can post.
Back to top

gamzehyaavor




 
 
 
 

Post  Sat, Nov 02 2019, 11:46 pm
pause wrote:
Do you want other ideas? I have a huge long list of stuff to do that take you out of the rat race for a bit by getting you to focus on something in the present moment. If you're interested, I can post.

I’d be interested if you don’t mind posting.
Back to top

gamzehyaavor




 
 
 
 

Post  Sat, Nov 02 2019, 11:48 pm
pause wrote:
Do you want other ideas? I have a huge long list of stuff to do that take you out of the rat race for a bit by getting you to focus on something in the present moment. If you're interested, I can post.

I’d be interested if you don’t mind posting.
Back to top

amother




Seagreen
 

Post  Sun, Nov 03 2019, 12:01 am
pause wrote:
Do you want other ideas? I have a huge long list of stuff to do that take you out of the rat race for a bit by getting you to focus on something in the present moment. If you're interested, I can post.

Yes please sure. I'd be interested to see if there is anything that speaks to me..
( BTW when I said bored in my posts above I didn't mean actually bored. I meant my mind isn't busy- therefore I can still think about all the pain I am trying hard not to think about otherwise it drags me down.)
Anyway yes please send a list.
Back to top

pause




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Nov 03 2019, 12:34 am
- Look at the stars at night
- Smell the roses
- Light a candle and watch a flame
- Picture a secret room within yourself. Furnish it the way you like. Close and lock the door on anything that can hurt you.
- Put on a blouse or a shirt that has a pleasant feel
- Set a pretty place at the table using your best things
- Pay attention to sounds of nature (birds, rain, leaves rustling)
- Pay attention to the sounds of the city (traffic, horns, city music)
- Look at pictures you like in a book.
- Be mindful of any sounds that come your way, letting them go in one ear and out the other.
- Open a package of coffee and inhale the aroma
- Use your favorite perfume
- Imagine everything going well
- Watch sunrise or sunset
- Open the window and smell the air
- Suck on a piece of peppermint candy
- Focus your entire attention on just what you are doing
- Ask G-d for strength to bear the pain
- Hum a soothing tune
- Chew gum
- Breathe deeply
- Change your facial expression
- Imagine hurtful emotions draining out of you like water out of a pipe
- Drink your favorite soothing drink such as hot milk, herbal tea, hot chocolate, a latte or a smoothie
- Treat yourself to dessert
- Put a cold compress on your forehead
- Massage your neck and scalp
- Run your hand along smooth wood or leather
- Look at flowers (shavuos-relevant)
- Wrap up in a blanket
- Imagine a very relaxing scene
- Focus on whatever positive aspects of a painful situation you can find
- Encourage yourself "I can stand it." "This too shall pass." "I will be OK." "It won't last forever." "I'm doing the best I can."
- exercise, yoga
- talk to a friend
- long walk in park
- go outside and watch the clouds
- ride a bike
- swim
- go hiking
- get a massage
- make a list of ten things you're good at or that you like about yourself
- get out of your house, even if you just sit outside
- go for a drive in your car or go for a ride on public transportation
- plan a trip to a place you've never been
- eat chocolate, ice cream or other favorite food
- cook your favorite meal
- make a new recipe you've never tried before
- go outside and watch the birds or other animals
- watch a funny movie
- play solitaire
- visit your favorite website
- create your own blog
- do a puzzle with many pieces
- get a haircut
- go to the library
- visit a museum
- pray or meditate
- write a letter to G-d
- call a family member you haven't spoken to in a long time
- sing
- listen to happy music
- turn on loud music and dance in your room
- take pictures
- knit, crochet, or sew
- paint your nails
- take a bubble bath
- draw a picture of yourself
- paint a picture with your fingers
- have s-x
- make a list of people you admire
- wash dishes and concentrate on the feel of the water, soap
Back to top

PinkFridge




 
 
 
 

Post  Sun, Nov 03 2019, 1:01 pm
amother [ Seagreen ] wrote:
Wow everyone here is so spiritual and holistic and self nurturing. . Am I the only one that has zero patience for davening and saying tehillim? ..zero patience for a bubble bath? ...I get in , sit in the hot water and then I'm like OK now what? So boring lol! I usually lose patience and get out a minute later.
Am I the only one that doesn't view a hot drink as a form of self care ? Um it's a drink. It isn't going to wash away my pain. It's just food. If I'm thirsty I drink and be done with it..I don't have patience to prolong the act with a hot drink..and anyway I would still be bored. I'd need to DO something while having a hot drink.
Am I the only one that doesn't see moisturizer as a form of self care? When my skin is dry I moisturize . If it isn't I don't. Why waste time on something I don't need?
I have zero patience or interest in journaling.
Im reading everyone's responses and I'm very very definitely feeling like an alien.
I feel like I have zero patience for what everyone else calls self care ! And I am definitely not spiritual.


What does feel like self care?
Can I suggest getting out comic book anthologies and reading 5 pages at a time as needed? Works for me.

I think the point of the posters is, by carving out time to do something nurturing and useful, instead of pushing ourselves off for last and not getting there, it gives a positive boost.
Back to top

amother




Rose
 

Post  Sun, Nov 03 2019, 2:39 pm
Whenever I need to disengage and calm myself I:

Watch tv
Play piano
Knit
Listen to a great song over and over
Read one of my favorite books
Read Harry Potter
Take a power nap
Surf the web
Read a comic book, Garfield

( bubble baths don’t relax me, because I need to scrub the tub, reserve the bathroom )
Back to top

amother




White
 

Post  Sun, Nov 03 2019, 6:31 pm
There is someone who decided it's a Mitzva to spread lies about me. The only way for me to get out of bed every morning is to tell myself that Hashem is running the world. I know that everyone davens for Hashem to punish these people in Shemoneh Esrei. I have in mind that I am not davening that Hashem should specifically punish these people. I am davening that Hashem should give me everything I want because of my suffering.
Back to top

amother




Floralwhite
 

Post  Sun, Nov 03 2019, 7:17 pm
What gets me through literally is just taking it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute and not stressing about what will be or how I'll get through... my life is so unpredictable that its like reading a novel with interesting twists in the plot.

Last edited by amother on Mon, Nov 04 2019, 2:17 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top

amother




Seagreen
 

Post  Mon, Nov 04 2019, 8:09 am
pause wrote:
- Look at the stars at night
- Smell the roses
- Light a candle and watch a flame
- Picture a secret room within yourself. Furnish it the way you like. Close and lock the door on anything that can hurt you.
- Put on a blouse or a shirt that has a pleasant feel
- Set a pretty place at the table using your best things
- Pay attention to sounds of nature (birds, rain, leaves rustling)
- Pay attention to the sounds of the city (traffic, horns, city music)
- Look at pictures you like in a book.
- Be mindful of any sounds that come your way, letting them go in one ear and out the other.
- Open a package of coffee and inhale the aroma
- Use your favorite perfume
- Imagine everything going well
- Watch sunrise or sunset
- Open the window and smell the air
- Suck on a piece of peppermint candy
- Focus your entire attention on just what you are doing
- Ask G-d for strength to bear the pain
- Hum a soothing tune
- Chew gum
- Breathe deeply
- Change your facial expression
- Imagine hurtful emotions draining out of you like water out of a pipe
- Drink your favorite soothing drink such as hot milk, herbal tea, hot chocolate, a latte or a smoothie
- Treat yourself to dessert
- Put a cold compress on your forehead
- Massage your neck and scalp
- Run your hand along smooth wood or leather
- Look at flowers (shavuos-relevant)
- Wrap up in a blanket
- Imagine a very relaxing scene
- Focus on whatever positive aspects of a painful situation you can find
- Encourage yourself "I can stand it." "This too shall pass." "I will be OK." "It won't last forever." "I'm doing the best I can."
- exercise, yoga
- talk to a friend
- long walk in park
- go outside and watch the clouds
- ride a bike
- swim
- go hiking
- get a massage
- make a list of ten things you're good at or that you like about yourself
- get out of your house, even if you just sit outside
- go for a drive in your car or go for a ride on public transportation
- plan a trip to a place you've never been
- eat chocolate, ice cream or other favorite food
- cook your favorite meal
- make a new recipe you've never tried before
- go outside and watch the birds or other animals
- watch a funny movie
- play solitaire
- visit your favorite website
- create your own blog
- do a puzzle with many pieces
- get a haircut
- go to the library
- visit a museum
- pray or meditate
- write a letter to G-d
- call a family member you haven't spoken to in a long time
- sing
- listen to happy music
- turn on loud music and dance in your room
- take pictures
- knit, crochet, or sew
- paint your nails
- take a bubble bath
- draw a picture of yourself
- paint a picture with your fingers
- have s-x
- make a list of people you admire
- wash dishes and concentrate on the feel of the water, soap


Wow this is quite a list! Thanks I will definitely keep some of these in mind.
The wood one jumped out at me because I love the smell and feel of fresh wood.
Back to top
Previous  1, 2, 3  Next  Last >> Recent Topics

Page 2 of 3 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Interesting Discussions

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Tips - I CANT BELIEVE I NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS!!!
by amother
12 Today at 7:18 pm View last post
Just wanted to give some chizzuk...
by amother
3 Thu, Mar 26 2020, 7:14 am View last post
Lamb Necks and Silan - Looking for tips
by Rappel
3 Wed, Mar 25 2020, 1:22 pm View last post
Challenging child, what is the right response
by amother
12 Wed, Mar 25 2020, 8:01 am View last post
Homeschooling in Israel - Tips and Tricks
by Rappel
6 Thu, Mar 12 2020, 3:25 pm View last post

Jump to: