My husband took my kids away from me...

#BestBubby

Sun, Nov 03 2019, 1:55 pm

amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:

With all due respect I think it’s a little naive to believe and decide something is exactly factual just based on a post from someone you don’t know.

This woman knows - she saw how her dad lied to get a restraining order against her
mother. Of course, since you work for the crooked legal system, you defend it.

amother

Brunette

Sun, Nov 03 2019, 1:57 pm

amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:

This. Many kind people want to automatically believe every person who says they were unfairly treated in court because of a manipulative husband who lied, coached the children bribed the judge with his money, and that’s admirable but not realistic. For the most part the system works and the judge gathers a lot of evidence before making decisions on custody.

I don't believe every person. I don't believe you are an attorney. It is clear to me you aren't.

For the 4th time, judges gather no evidence beyond the petition before they grant ex parte OPs. This is day in and day out. If you were familiar with family court you would know this.

I believe OP. Unlike you I practiced in family court.

amother

Orchid

Sun, Nov 03 2019, 2:04 pm

amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:

It’s just not that simple. Judges look carefully at police reports, psychiatric reviews and other evidence before taking custody away from a parent, and it’s well known that judges tend to usually give custody to the mother in a huge majority of cases, and will only deviate if there’s some type of issue with the mother. It’s the facts. Maybe there’s money that can influence in certain circles, not in divorce court. No judge will risk his career by taking bribes.

As I stated, Judges aren't afraid to take bribes. Newspapers won't report on law-breaking by judges and DA and FBI won't prosecute judges either.

Mothers get custody most of the time because both parents agree that mother should have custody. It is not common for Dad to fight for custody, but if Dad fights for custody, Dad wins 70% of the time.

Psychiatric reports are corrupt. Psychiatrists who make $400K per year will write falsely against whoever the JUDGE tells him/her to.

Now the judge is not bribed in every case, so the pyschiatrist will not testify falsely for the abuser in every case - but there are plenty of cases where it DOES happen!

A woman proved in court that the psychiatrist LIED about what a witness he interviewed said and the psychiatrist lost his license. So now they passed laws that you are not allowed to sue a court psychiatrist.

amother

Navy

Sun, Nov 03 2019, 2:07 pm

amother [ Brunette ] wrote:

Without getting into too many details, as I still don’t like speaking badly about my family regardless of what they’ve done, a very close family member of my father’s is a family attorney who helped him manipulate the system.

So yeah I’d actually believe if she were a family lawyer.

amother

Rose

Sun, Nov 03 2019, 2:11 pm

I do not know about bribes.
I hope most of the time justice and truth prevail.
A lot depends upon how good of a judge one gets and other factors. A good attorney and community and family support can go a long way too.

It is not like any other court. Things can get twisted a lot unfortunately. Even by some with good intent. Though generally the truth comes out eventually.

Ultimately all up to Hashem.

May we hear good news.

#BestBubby

Sun, Nov 03 2019, 2:11 pm

Ex-Parte Restraining Orders are unconstitutional. A judge issues an order against
someone when they are not in court to defend themselves. That is not "due process".

ex-parte restraining orders are supposed to be for EMERGENCIES where there is no time to wait for a hearing with both parties for example if one wants to stop a building from being torn down, scheduled for tomorrow, one could get a temporary restraining order to stop the demolition until a hearing with both sides present.

There is NEVER a life and death emergency to justify a judge issuing a restraining order against a parent. If there was, then the accusing parent would go to the POLICE. But Police cannot do anything unless you have real evidence it is a Life and Death emergency. BUT JUDGES CAN! And the accusations against the parent don't even have to be serious. So it is UNCONSTITUTIONAL.

Once there is a restraining order, they try to frame the other parent (husband or wife) claiming they violated the restraining order. THAT becomes the basis for giving permanent custody to the abuser while the good parent gets a permanent restraining order for "violating" the temporary restraining order - that was given without any real grounds and without the accused being there to defend himself/herself.

amother

Rose

Sun, Nov 03 2019, 2:17 pm

I hope a decent judge can see through when its a dramatic unnecessary aggressive behavior when unwarranted and that it backfires on the perpetrator.
Unfortunately even when they ultimately go well these things can tend to take time and money. A real nisayon.

amother

Orchid

Sun, Nov 03 2019, 2:25 pm

amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:

Hi If the issue wasn’t so serious and painful I’d have to laugh at all the armchair commentators saying with certainty that they’re right though I’m sure they’ve never stepped foot into a courtroom and are basing their opinions on what they hear from one side of a battle. Whatever.

I've been to Court for years. Seen the corruption with my own eyes. Saw all the evidence against my BFF's EX - saw that Judge gave custody to the EX
WITHOUT. A. TRIAL.

Tell me FloralWhite how giving custody without a Trial is legal???
Even the most corrupt countries have some kind of kangaroo court but in my
BFF's case the evidence of ABUSe against her EX was so overwhelming there
was NO WAY to defend it.

So Judge just wrote an order giving Ex Custody - without any trial.
Ditto for a restraining order against BFF. No explanation given.

nicole81

Sun, Nov 03 2019, 2:26 pm

I believe that the family court system generally works well, but for all the naysayers, this really is entirely possible.

One spouse can file for, and be granted on the spot, a temporary order of protection. If the order includes the kids, then that keeps the other spouse away from the house. Family court judges would rather issue the order on the spot, and then have a later court date to evaluate, than risk someone getting hurt in the meantime.

So now, the spouse has the stay away order and never served it but fraudulently made an affidavit of service. So then poor mom, who doesn't know what's going on, goes home, tries to take the kids out, etc. Spouse, with his temporary OP, calls the police and claims kidnapping, which it is unfortunately. And if this situation repeats, it further buries mom in the eyes of the law.

While it's unlikely that after an entire custody hearing, the final order would give supervised visitation only to mom, that's not where OP is. There are so many nonsense court dates that come before an actual hearing and it sounds it's just beginning.

OP, I will daven for you and your children. I pray that the outcome will be what's best for both you and them, and that you have strength and clarity throughout.

amother

Plum

Sun, Nov 03 2019, 2:28 pm

amother [ Orchid ] wrote:

The OP is in the US.

AIUI, a large percentage of judges in China take bribes. Maybe some third world countries, or Russia. But not California.

The US has laws against perjury. But that’s criminal. Court testimony is otherwise protected speech. Always has been. How else could you get people to testify if they would be afraid of being sued by someone who disagreed.

If you think the US is so corrupt, why don’t you move to another country?

OP, it’s very likely that you will appear before an honest judge. Wishing you the very best of luck.

amother

Blush

Sun, Nov 03 2019, 2:29 pm

amother [ Orchid ] wrote:

You say you can bribe a judge, so maybe tell us how, that may help the op... Wink

What if both sides offer bribes???

amother

Wine

Sun, Nov 03 2019, 2:31 pm

First, you and your children are in our thoughts and prayers! May this be resolved in the healthiest way for you and your children.

Second, I have to admit to reading all the comments out of pure curiosity considering my family has been on the other side of this situation. My husbands ex tried to file numerous false restraining orders and none were granted. She also took my husband to court and then cried victim when he was given custody of their children. I don't believe divorce is ever as simple at assigning blame to one parent vs the other, someone could have been a terrible husband and still be an amazing father and the same can be said of the mother/wife and further that a terrible husband/wife for one person can be the dream spouse for another.

I don't believe that there are any winners in a custody fight and I'm so tired of parents being described as the winners for taking away a parent from their children. A child should have both their parents and unless a parent chooses to abdicate their role as parent or has caused harm (actual harm-not inferred harm by the breakdown of the marriage) then the child has a right to a unhindered relationship with their parents.

Last edited by amother on Sun, Nov 03 2019, 3:32 pm; edited 1 time in total

#BestBubby

Sun, Nov 03 2019, 2:32 pm

amother [ Blush ] wrote:

You say you can bribe a judge, so maybe tell us how, that may help the op... Wink

What if both sides offer bribes???

You have to hire the lawyer who is judge's pal.
And it takes a ton of $$$.

Once a judge takes one parties side, almost impossible to get him/her
to switch sides.

amother

Blush

Sun, Nov 03 2019, 2:34 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

You have to hire the lawyer who is judge's pal.
And it takes a ton of $$$.

Once a judge takes one parties side, almost impossible to get him/her
to switch sides.

how much money are we talking? and how do you find out which lawyer is judge's pal?

#BestBubby

Sun, Nov 03 2019, 2:58 pm

amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:

Yes that’s true but that’s not what the judge bases his decision on alone. Forensic
Psychiatrists are involved as well as other professionals and it’s just not that easy to get a judge to remove children from their mother’s care.

Forensic Psychiatrist are how bribed judges fix custody cases. They are in cahoots.

Step 1: Hire lawyer who is judge's pal and will bribe judge for you.

Step 2. Judge tells the forensic (who makes $400k per year working for court) to
say Mom or Dad is mentally ill, a parental alienator, a domestic abuser, a s-xual molester, etc.

Step 3. Forensic issues a report accusing mom or dad of one of the above. The forensic report is the only FAKE "evidence" a judge needs to give custody to the abuser and give restraining order to the good mom or dad. Happens all the time. There is no way to defend your self from a FALSE report by a crooked court forensic psychiatrist!

amother

Crimson

Sun, Nov 03 2019, 3:03 pm

OP, I just davened for you.

And I will daven some more.

Ignore anyone who doesn't believe you. They are living in a make believe world (maybe to make themselves feel safe). Or maybe because according to a study people would rather not identify with a victim: a person is a selfish creature. He/she rather not feel someones pain.
This world, like the gemara says, is "Olam Dshakra".

amother

Crimson

Sun, Nov 03 2019, 3:07 pm

amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:

If the children have been coached and are lying, the psychiatrists know how to get the truth out of them. A judge doesn’t base his decision on custody on the child’s word alone. Since many of you believe this is simple and husbands regularly fool the judge why wouldn’t the mothers do the same?

psychiatrists are just people. They make mistake. They misjudge people. They sometimes take the wrong side.

amother

Floralwhite

Sun, Nov 03 2019, 3:10 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

This is beyond inaccurate. Just how does one find out which lawyer to hire who will be the judge’s pal?