Haves and have nots

amother

Cyan

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 12:36 pm

amother [ Smokey ] wrote:

I don't have money. In fact we have an insane amount of debt.
I still believe that people who don't tolerate threads about 10 k wigs are jealous.

I don't mind if someone wants a 10 k wig. Unless she buys it from tzedakah.

There's something frum Jews don't seem to understand:

Rich people can afford things that poor people can't. And they are allowed to, it's their money and NO you're not entitled to have the same.

Why is this so difficult for so many people to understand??? Why are frum jews so unbelievably entitled???????
If you want a 10 k wig you have options:
1. Get a good degree and get a good job
2. Marry a rich guy

If you didn't do this , don't complain!!!
And certainly don't ruin other people's fun.
Having expensive things isn't bad taste if you can afford them easily.
It's like me buying in Target, she can buy at Chanel. SO WHAT?!

If you don't like those threads leave this site instead of telling others to not post certain things. And get over yourself and grow up.

Finally!!

Some people can have things that you can't! So is life!

Chaya123

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 1:38 pm

Right, there are all kinds out there, rich and poor, happily married and not, fertile and infertile. This website addresses all. I also couldn't get over how before Sukkos, there was one thread from woman with literally no money to buy basics and another woman was asking what's the best way she can spend 10k on vacation over Sukkos. Such is life. Same way you'll have threads on infertility and then others on birth control.

amother

Fuchsia

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 2:18 pm

STMommy wrote:

I think the question is, if AnonyIma posts a question here about something extremely expensive/high end that the very vast majority of imas here will not be able to answer, is she actually looking for advice or is she just being an obnoxious show off.

If someone has a genuine question or concern, it's not flaunting. Just as you wouldn't think a question about curtains is flaunting that you have windows to a homeless person, I wouldn't think a question about how to make a $7700 range kasherable is flaunting. This is the range I want. I need it to work in a kosher kitchen. This is my reality.

amother

Lemon

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 2:47 pm

amother [ Teal ] wrote:

Before criticizing the Viking, you guys better check out the Viking blue 66 inch stove.
I think I'm in love. Heart

Is it good not to have windows on the oven.
I hope at that price it has WiFi cameras to watch the food Smile

No timer or delay bake or self clean or Shabbos mode.
Drawers are for storage - Not warming
Doesn’t fit my life anyways.

nylon

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 5:22 pm

Listen, I'm glad not to live in a community where people buy 10K sheitels and I have to worry about keeping up, but if people don't ask anonymous questions about expensive purchases, how am I supposed to live vicariously?

(or in more seriousness: I care about standards I can actually see and deal with. On the Internet, I don't worry.)

mommy3b2c

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 5:39 pm

amother [ Pewter ] wrote:

I'm not sure why your on this jealousy kick. Who said people are jealous! The things I mentioned that were being asked ARE IN BAD TASTE

Uh huh. You can keep telling yourself that’s what is about if it makes you feel better. To me, a $10,000 wig is ridiculous. I can think of a million different ways to spend my money. Still, when I see such a thread, I think “wow! I can’t believe people are so wealthy that they want to spend $10,000 on a wig.” And then I move on. I have better things to do then analyze how distasteful $10000 wigs are.

penguin

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 6:37 pm

Well, now that I think about it, I don't suppose that a 10K sheitel is all that conspicuous. You might look twice or three times as good as someone in a 1K sheitel, but I find it hard to believe you look ten times better. Besides for your facelifts or botox, tummy tucks or other sculpting, massages and workouts at the gym.. OK, so maybe you look ten times better than someone else your age, but not because you spent 10k on the sheitel.

(not that I know anything about any of this personally, besides maybe the gym ...I suppose I kind of picked it up from the air?)

(Well, a further thought which I think I mentioned on here and subsequently saw an article in one of the mags - HEY - do you suppose someone stole my idea? Nah, great minds...

So my thought was that I am very much dan lekaf zechus all these young women who are so busy with their clothing, sheitels, makeup, jewelry, and, of course, pom pom hats and Doonas and other narishkeiten for their children ken ayin hara they should all live and be well.

You see, when you marry young & start off playing house, you may not have all that much of an identity aside from your appearance and that of your little darlings, and that may be where you put all your focus.

As you get older, and develop in both ruchniyus (avodas hamiddos, raising a torahdike family) and potentially in a career (even if part-time) and/or community service, you have a highly expanded self-image (or, as one of my favorite Maggidos shiur puts it, "your 'I' expands to include more and more of those around you"). You can justifiably take pride in what you have accomplished. So while of course you use moisturizer and a bit of makeup, and try to look nice and put together, you just don't put so much energy into shopping, dressing, appearance etc.

(Now let me go check my shopping carts...)

HonesttoGod

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 7:50 pm

My issue isn’t with one or the other.
My issue is when those paying 10k for the wig, having the doona and Ferraragamos and hopping off to Israel for YT, play “poor” when it comes to other things such as tuition and Tzedakah (oh I can’t give to that organization I have nothing to give).

But then again in my community most people are living off their cc. And the world keeps turning.

southernbubby

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 8:17 pm

amother [ Azure ] wrote:

serious question. does "living off the their cc" never explode in their face. Like can you really sustain being massively in debt for your whole life?

If people die in debt, the cc companies can go after the estate to get their money but if there's no estate, the cc companies eat the loss.

causemommysaid

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 9:21 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

You feel the way you do because BH you are not destitute. I also read a thread like that and move on. I am very happy with my long gorgeous wig that costs $1200 and couldnt care less if someone spends 10K on a wig.

However, my personal opinion is that they should not ask such questions. It seems callous and in poor taste. Everyone can spend their own money how they see fit and I am happy there are so many frum Jews who are doing well. That being said, as a Jewish person we are obligated to work on our middos and part of that means not causing others anguish. Someone who is rationing their baby's formula will feel anguish reading a thread like that and therefore a rich person should be careful what they say in front of others. You cant go wrong with being tzanuah or sensitive. Other examples: Build yourself a beautiful home and enjoy it but if you are out to lunch with a friend who is renting a 2 bedroom apartment, there is no need to go into detail about the the design of your 8 bedroom house. Or enjoy your Pesach program in Geneva Switzerland but don't talk about how amazing it was to your neighbor who gets tomchei shabbos.

A poor person should also work on themselves and try not to be jealous but that was not the question of this thread.

Laiya

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 9:46 pm

causemommysaid wrote:

I'm clueless when it comes to what people outside my bracket spend on different things, and I find it fascinating to learn about. Irl you can't really discuss these things. Now this thread has me curious. Are there really $10,000 sheitels or was this meant to make a point? And if yes, what does this sheitel have that, say, a $4,000 sheitel doesn't? What