Tips for making good conversation

amother

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 12:15 pm

I'm not the best at small talk. I get nervous in social situations where you basically have to walk around hoping to find someone to chat with. I have a Kiddush I have to go to and was searching for some good tips/conversation starters.

amother

Aquamarine

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 12:24 pm

Lots of people dislike small talk, but it's hard to have a real conversation at a Kiddush.

Smile and say something positive. Isn't the weather fabulous? I love the way the food was set out.

Ask a question (and listen to the answer). Do you always daven here? Are you visiting from out of town?

Volunteer some information (but don't overdo). I'm new in this neighborhood. The bar mitzvah boy's mother is my cousin. I love mini kugels.

I made a good friend once because I admired her hat. Conversation moved from there.

amother

Azure

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 12:42 pm

Don’t talk about the weather. That’s too blah!
I like the rest of the advice previous poster gave!
Also realize lots of people feel this way, it’s so common so chances are they will be at the kiddush and you’ll be in the same boat as a bunch of others attending!

Jewishfoodie

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 12:50 pm

So so simple! Walk over to literally anyone and smile and say, "I love your necklace! It's awesome!" and she will thank you for your kind words and might even continue the conversation!

People love a friendly face. Smile! Don't stop! I smile at strangers all the time! Jew, non-Jew.. It gets a return smile almost always. But it lifts the spirit. It also encourages people to converse with you, as they don't perceive you as a threat.

Compliment the food you're tasting to the person next to you. "this kugel is delicious! Can I bring you a piece?"

And most important, don't act confident, actually BE confident! Dress in whatever makes you feel fierce! Go in and slay! Most people are just as awkward and anxious as you are. So smile, be confident, and compliment people and things. That's a great start, anywhere, even PTA or a wedding.

Best of luck!

(and if a random woman smiled at you one morning on her way to work, wave, cuz that's me!)

West End Tova

Tue, Nov 12 2019, 4:00 pm

If you're shy, it can be helpful to glance at people to see who might be receptive. Then smile, approach, introduce yourself and take it from there. I often say something like, "So what's keeping you busy these days?" People usually like to talk about what's doing with them and that's a pretty open question.