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Think it won’t happen to you?
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amother




OP
 

Post  Fri, Nov 22 2019, 12:19 pm
Well, it happened to me. Although, to be fair, I’m not one of those people who think it can’t happen to me. I know it can, and DOES, happen to anyone.

I had two kids home sick from school today. One spent the morning upstairs, and one spent the morning in the kitchen with me. When it was time to go get my little one from playgroup, I asked if the one downstairs was coming. The answer was yes, and we left together.

That was at 11:53. At 12:15, after dropping off playgroup carpool, I was heading back to my house and realized “oh my gosh!!! The other one is home alone!!! I totally forgot about that child!!!”
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amother




Brunette
 

Post  Fri, Nov 22 2019, 12:23 pm
Did the one upstairs notice?
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amother




OP
 

Post  Fri, Nov 22 2019, 12:27 pm
amother [ Brunette ] wrote:
Did the one upstairs notice?

Nope :-) Now, the one upstairs is between 7 and 8, but I would never purposely leave a child that age home alone, except maybe to go to a neighbor to get something. But the truth is, neither of my immediate neighbors are Jewish, so that doesn’t happen.
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amother




Brunette
 

Post  Fri, Nov 22 2019, 12:30 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Nope :-) Now, the one upstairs is between 7 and 8, but I would never purposely leave a child that age home alone, except maybe to go to a neighbor to get something. But the truth is, neither of my immediate neighbors are Jewish, so that doesn’t happen.


I get you. Just saying - I understand how you are feeling - I hope you don't beat yourself up over it.
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seeker




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Nov 22 2019, 12:33 pm
Augh that must be so disturbing for you! But bh it all turned out ok.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Fri, Nov 22 2019, 12:39 pm
amother [ Brunette ] wrote:
I get you. Just saying - I understand how you are feeling - I hope you don't beat yourself up over it.

Totally not!!!! It was a change in routine, and I know it can happen to anyone. This was really more of a PSA for those who always blame he parents and say it could have been avoided. Yes, my house is different than my car, but at the end of the day I still forgot about my child. It can happen to anyone.
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amother




Beige
 

Post  Fri, Nov 22 2019, 1:40 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Well, it happened to me. Although, to be fair, I’m not one of those people who think it can’t happen to me. I know it can, and DOES, happen to anyone.

I had two kids home sick from school today. One spent the morning upstairs, and one spent the morning in the kitchen with me. When it was time to go get my little one from playgroup, I asked if the one downstairs was coming. The answer was yes, and we left together.

That was at 11:53. At 12:15, after dropping off playgroup carpool, I was heading back to my house and realized “oh my gosh!!! The other one is home alone!!! I totally forgot about that child!!!”


Right. A version of this happened to me as well. I usually have a babysitter in the afternoons to watch my toddler while I do errands and carpool.

My babysitter was sick, so I was home and I had to pick up my child from carpool. I belted my toddler into his carseat and picked up the other child from school. We came home, and the school child and myself walked into the house. I started making dinner. It wasn't until I realized that my babysitter didn't come say goodbye to me that I remember she was sick, and that I remembered my child was in the car. Still strapped to his carseat, crying.

Luckily, it was only about ten minutes, and it was a colder day. It still gives me chills. I thank Hashem every day. EVERY DAY.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Fri, Nov 22 2019, 1:52 pm
amother [ Beige ] wrote:
Right. A version of this happened to me as well. I usually have a babysitter in the afternoons to watch my toddler while I do errands and carpool.

My babysitter was sick, so I was home and I had to pick up my child from carpool. I belted my toddler into his carseat and picked up the other child from school. We came home, and the school child and myself walked into the house. I started making dinner. It wasn't until I realized that my babysitter didn't come say goodbye to me that I remember she was sick, and that I remembered my child was in the car. Still strapped to his carseat, crying.

Luckily, it was only about ten minutes, and it was a colder day. It still gives me chills. I thank Hashem every day. EVERY DAY.

So so so scary. BH child was ok!!!! But you must be a horrible mom, right? Cuz it happened?
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amother




cornflower
 

Post  Fri, Nov 22 2019, 2:14 pm
Blaming the parents is a coping mechanism against the anxiety that it may happen to anyone at any time.
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Librarian




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Nov 22 2019, 2:27 pm
I have always thought it could happen to me chas v'sholom. There but for the grace of G-d go I. I don't relate at all to those who blame the parents. In fact, I think they are tempting fate...
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amother




OP
 

Post  Fri, Nov 22 2019, 2:28 pm
amother [ cornflower ] wrote:
Blaming the parents is a coping mechanism against the anxiety that it may happen to anyone at any time.

That, and holier than thou people....
“I’m better than that”
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amother




Beige
 

Post  Fri, Nov 22 2019, 2:47 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
So so so scary. BH child was ok!!!! But you must be a horrible mom, right? Cuz it happened?


It’s funny that you’re being sarcastic because even typing this out I feel a deep deep shame and tremendous guilt/sadness. I think about it to this day (it was long ago) and whether that toddler (now an older child) has any lingering problems lurking in their subconscious.
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amother




Copper
 

Post  Fri, Nov 22 2019, 3:06 pm
It can't happen to anyone. It doesn't happen to everyone. I have never forgotten my children for a moment.

Saying anyone can do it is a feel good mechanism.

Some people are alert and on the ball.
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Librarian




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Nov 22 2019, 3:10 pm
I have never forgotten my children either. I am alert and on the ball. In fact, having grown up in NYC during the 1970's, I am conditioned to be hyper vigilant to the point of paranoia. And I am telling you, it could chas v'sholom happen to anybody. Hubris is a very very dangerous midah.
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soap suds




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Nov 22 2019, 3:17 pm
amother [ Copper ] wrote:
It can't happen to anyone. It doesn't happen to everyone. I have never forgotten my children for a moment.

Saying anyone can do it is a feel good mechanism.

Some people are alert and on the ball.

Do you think the people it happened to did forget their children multiple times before it ended in tragedy? I bet many of them could've said the same thing "I never forgot my child". Until that one time that they did.

May Hashem keep all of our children safe, and it should indeed never happen to you or anyone else.
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allthingsblue




 
 
 
 

Post  Fri, Nov 22 2019, 3:23 pm
amother [ Copper ] wrote:
It can't happen to anyone. It doesn't happen to everyone. I have never forgotten my children for a moment.

Saying anyone can do it is a feel good mechanism.

Some people are alert and on the ball.


"Al ta'amin beatzmecha ad yom moscha."
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amother




Copper
 

Post  Fri, Nov 22 2019, 3:54 pm
soap suds wrote:
Do you think the people it happened to did forget their children multiple times before it ended in tragedy? I bet many of them could've said the same thing "I never forgot my child". Until that one time that they did.

May Hashem keep all of our children safe, and it should indeed never happen to you or anyone else.


I believe that it was not the first time each time it ended in tragedy. I believe there are negligent parents.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Sat, Nov 23 2019, 6:44 pm
amother [ Copper ] wrote:
I believe that it was not the first time each time it ended in tragedy. I believe there are negligent parents.

Part of me hopes that what happened to me happens to you, just so you can see how wrong you are. But at the same time, I would never want anyone to feel what I felt, even though it BH did NOT end in tragedy.
Also, have the courage to disparage people under your own name. You want to call people negligent? Stand behind the comment and say it as yourself.
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amother




Royalblue
 

Post  Sat, Nov 23 2019, 7:05 pm
amother [ Copper ] wrote:
I believe that it was not the first time each time it ended in tragedy. I believe there are negligent parents.


Of course there are negligent parents. But that has nothing to do with the situation that people are talking about here.

This is a phenomenon of the world we live in, in which we are chronically overextended, between home, work, children, and responsibilities.

Thank you for sharing, op. It's a reminder that bears repeating. I know that there are times I am on autopilot, trying to get through the day, take care of everyone, get everything done efficiently. Our brains naturally fall back into routine mode.

My children are older now, bh, but when I was juggling a full time job, drop off, pick up, and everything in between, I used to write things on my hand so that anything unusual would be right in my face. Otherwise, I'd find myself just following my daily pattern, forgetting things that I knew I had to do.
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amother




Cerulean
 

Post  Sat, Nov 23 2019, 7:11 pm
The video they made to raise awareness features an ocd organized super mom.
It can truly happen to anyone!
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