Ami article; Chaim Ekstein's $10K wedding plan

amother

Fuchsia

Mon, Nov 25 2019, 8:21 am

SixOfWands wrote:

So its still significantly over $10,000 when you add in clothing, wedding ring (even if no other jewelry) and ketuba.

I guess we're not that far from weddings, and we're figuring on it costing a whole lot more than that. So I am curious.

I agree setting up past wedding is expensive.
And I believe very strongly in buying good which costs.
We got a solid wood non-China bedroom set and table. And real leather couches.
15 years later it’s still solid and beautiful.
My friends who got bonded leather and pressed wood replaced theirs years ago.
The tools of the trade pots I got cheap were thrown out with in a few years. farberware pots are going strong.

I do see a lot of value in buying quality life long items for a couple.
I see a lot less value in spending money on s single night or expensive jewelry that is really worthless and will be out of style in a few years.

Ravenclaw

Mon, Nov 25 2019, 8:32 am

The point is, everyone finds something else valuable. For some it’s real furniture, for some it’s real jewelry...

How can we incorporate a plan where everyone can spend on different things? I personally never needed or wanted real jewelry. I don’t get the point of it. Everyone is different.

Sebastian

Mon, Nov 25 2019, 8:39 am

amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:

solid wood made in china also lasts. and is much much cheaper.

styles change, I wouldn't want the same set forever

zohar

Mon, Nov 25 2019, 8:55 am

Ravenclaw wrote:

I think that his idea is not to dictate what people should buy and prioritize. It's more that he wants to raise awareness that weddings can be done cheaper and mostly that people should spend within their means. He's not looking for takanos to come out of this, just a social acceptance of doing things differently. He also admits that he may not be about to do it for under $10k, but that's his goal for now.

amother

Apricot

Mon, Nov 25 2019, 9:03 am

Something else to keep in mind,when you make a wedding, 2 people get married and they might not come from the same financial bracket!
It gets very tricky to tell kalla you're getting fake jewlery when her parents could afford it!
If both sides don't have money they might agree to make the wedding as cheap as possible but you don't want to fight with the mechutanim over that!
If let's say chassan's family has money and many business partners or relatives are coming to the wedding they might be embarrassed by the lowest affordable wedding...
As nice as it sounds, I really don't think it could work for everyone!

southernbubby

Mon, Nov 25 2019, 9:04 am

SixOfWands wrote:

So, share. How is he going to do it?

10 years ago, the least expensive kosher caterer in NY was charging $45 per person, bare bones. So $50 now? Plus the venue. Music. Flowers. Anything else extra like decorating the chuppah. Ketubah. Rabbi. Clothing. Photographer.

Just not seeing it.

Only close family eats the meal.

southernbubby

Mon, Nov 25 2019, 9:05 am

amother [ Apricot ] wrote:

He talks about how to get everyone on board.

southernbubby

Mon, Nov 25 2019, 9:07 am

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

Another thing, I feel sorry for his daughter. Her wedding and all her gifts/no gifts being so public. Like she's a guinea pig.

The chosson and kallah are also trying to change the trend. They are in complete agreement.

amother

Indigo

Mon, Nov 25 2019, 9:12 am

When it comes to items that last, such as furniture and jewelry, it's not the same as spending on a big show. It's financially reasonable to purchase a high-end piece with stable value as long as one is able to afford it. After the purchase, it remains as a store of value in your possession.
Spending on strolling violinists, fancy gown rentals, and other one night experiences is also okay, but it's not financially sensible if it's difficult to afford.

amother

Burlywood

Mon, Nov 25 2019, 9:43 am

southernbubby wrote:

The chosson and kallah are also trying to change the trend. They are in complete agreement.

Not talking about here 10k part here. I'm referring to the publicity here. Idk. It feels exploitative to me.

southernbubby

Mon, Nov 25 2019, 9:45 am

His whole idea is to ask yourself why you are incurring the expense; is it peer pressure or is it something that you value and can afford. While I agree with those who say that Ikea is a waste of money, I also agree with him when he says that poor people don't have to go in hock for furniture that lasts forever.

SixOfWands

Mon, Nov 25 2019, 9:54 am

southernbubby wrote:

There are plenty of excellent products available from Ikea. I have a set of Ikea shelves that are older than half the posters here, and still in perfect condition.

Its OK to start out with lower-end things, and to upgrade when you can afford. Young couples don't need to start off with top of the line everything. Particularly as they will likely move at some point, and want things to go with the style of their longer term home. You start slowly, and build up as you can afford.

amother

Gray

Mon, Nov 25 2019, 9:56 am

amother [ Indigo ] wrote:

Other than real estate, how many items retain their value? Not even jewelry does, really.

ShishKabob

Mon, Nov 25 2019, 10:01 am

I think it's terrific and brave that someone is at least talking about this! You can tweak it here and there according to your style and specifics, but the goal is the same.

amother

Red

Mon, Nov 25 2019, 10:10 am

amother [ Gray ] wrote:

Other than real estate, how many items retain their value? Not even jewelry does, really.

Correct, but the point is you have something to show for your money when you spend it on furniture, jewelry, pots and wigs.

Not so when you spend it on a ten-piece band, luxury gown or steak for the wedding meal. It's gone before you can blink, and who even really remembers.

amother

Gray

Mon, Nov 25 2019, 10:18 am

amother [ Red ] wrote:

Everyone has her own priorities.

The current generation is stereotyped as being more interested in experiences than in things. They want to enjoy the fancy meal and the excellent band, but really don't want to be bothered with grandma's china. So for them, the amazing wedding is much more important then the bedroom set. And who am I to tell them that they're wrong.

amother

Red

Mon, Nov 25 2019, 10:32 am

amother [ Gray ] wrote:

Really? What chassan and kallah are enjoying the meal at their wedding? They're usually way too busy, overwhelmed, sweaty, and excited to notice what the're eating, if they even eat at all.

Maybe its the parents who want the fancy wedding?

southernbubby

Mon, Nov 25 2019, 10:37 am

amother [ Gray ] wrote:

For those no-waste environmentalists, raiding grandma's cupboards is exactly what they do and they choose the down payment on a house or a college degree over a one night extravaganza.