Ami article; Chaim Ekstein's $10K wedding plan

Sebastian

Mon, Nov 25 2019, 6:07 pm

asmileaday wrote:

It always baffled me why a young couple needs a full dining room set with 8 chairs! (I'm talking about chassidish circles where the young couple doesn't even eat home shabbos y"t or host guest). Forget about the half empty china closets or curios that don't get filled because nobody gives silver gifts anymore.

I only have boys so furniture won't truly be up to me but I don't think a young couple needs more than beautiful cheap platform beds and dresser from IKEA or wayfair and a nice dinette set which can also be gotten at IKEA.
If we can afford more I'd rather give the couple the cash to kickstart their own life.

Ok who wants to be meshadich with me?

I d rather do craigslist than IKEA. You can get real quality furniture for next to nothing. No need for Italian stuff imo

asmileaday

Mon, Nov 25 2019, 6:11 pm

Sebastian wrote:

I d rather do craigslist than IKEA. You can get real quality furniture for next to nothing. No need for Italian stuff imo

Whatever works for you!
Personally I prefer modern fresh and new even if it isn't the greatest quality. So fun to buy new stuff every few years. Although I didn't need to replace yet any of my IKEA stuff, some of them are over 5 years old.

SixOfWands

Mon, Nov 25 2019, 6:36 pm

Notsobusy wrote:

I got an expensive bedroom set in a boro park store and it fell apart right away. 20 plus years later our Walmart seforim shelves are just starting to break.

I dont know that there's one right way to do it.
The problem is when everyone needs what ever everyone else got. They need to stop and think which things they really care about and where they can cut costs

When my husband moved out of his parents' home, he bought a very expensive, solid bedroom set.

D@mn him, and d@mn his parents for suggesting it.

I loathe it. Really and truly loathe it. But its probably got another good 100 or so years left in it, so I can't bring myself to get rid of it.

southernbubby

Mon, Nov 25 2019, 6:38 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

Offer it to whatever kid wants it when they get married.

amother

Tan

Mon, Nov 25 2019, 7:47 pm

My style is totally different from when I got married. I liked dark ornate, traditional furniture. Now I prefer simple, light colored not gepatched design . Thank G-d it was all budget stuff!

Mama Bear

Mon, Nov 25 2019, 8:55 pm

I treasure my kallah jewelry. I don't care if it went out of style. I still wear them on shabbos, yomtov and to simchos. I have never bought myself a piece of jewelry since my own kallah jewelry. They are priceless, precious, and forever....
as for furniture, I can't see myself affording to buy dining room or bedroom furniture a few years after our wedding -- thank goodness I got my italian sets before I got married. Otherwise we'd be living with a hodgepodge of folding chairs and a folding table to this day.
As a matter of fact, 23 years after our chasuneh, the table finally gave way and the chairs became really chipped and uchhy. We tossed them out. And we've been sitting on folding chairs with a folding table for months already. Furniture is expensive. Whatever our parents bought us 23 years ago is what we had until they were totally dunzo. My bedroom mattresses were mamish recently replaced, after 22 years.
There's something to be said about setting up a couple with long-lasting things so that they don't have to spend every cent the wife earns while the husband learns, to set up their home....

Raisin

Tue, Nov 26 2019, 6:40 am

I would certainly differentiate between furniture and household items and sheitals, that lasts, if not forever, for a few years, and what you spend on a wedding. (for one night)

I personally dislike ornate italian furniture and we live quite happily without a glass fronted silver cabinet but investing in good beds, decent chairs and a table, bookcases, (although Ikea is also fine for these last 2) and really great pots is not a bad use of money.

amother

Coral

Tue, Nov 26 2019, 6:45 am

I didn't get any new furniture and don't really know anyone who did. Maybe some stuff from ikea.
I've never owned a new piece of furniture or appliance (until recently when I bought a new oven)

Is it very specific circles who do all new furniture?
For reference, yeshivish, out of town

Rivky

Tue, Nov 26 2019, 10:30 am

When a couple gets married, no they wont be using their dining room furniture or 8 chairs right away, but they will enjoy it once the children start coming and family grows. That's the idea. It's setting them up for a long time.

asmileaday

Tue, Nov 26 2019, 10:35 am

Rivky wrote:

By the time they might start enjoying it it's sometimes outdated and taking up too much space in their cramped apartment. That's usually the case for Brooklyn (or even Monsey) where newlywed rentals are generally teeny tiny and dining rooms are used as bedrooms.

SixOfWands

Tue, Nov 26 2019, 10:58 am

southernbubby wrote:

Offer it to whatever kid wants it when they get married.

You inspired me to see what this monstrosity is worth. According to one site, I could probably sell it for $8000. Unfortunately, DH says no.

keym

Tue, Nov 26 2019, 11:05 am

Can someone explain to me why in some communities 2nd hand furniture is not a thing.
Before I got married, we looked through the classified in the more upper class communities near Lakewood (Ocean, Deal, etc). We bought a dining room set- 6 chairs, table, breakfront for $750, and a bedroom set- dresser, armoire, and night table for $500.
Solid wood stuff.
16 years later, still good. (The chairs are starting to go, but that's life when my kids think chairs are swings).
We bought a new couch and beds cuz I was freaked out about bed bugs.
But when I see the prices of all these advertisements solid wood Italian furniture- it baffles me.

asmileaday

Tue, Nov 26 2019, 11:15 am

keym wrote:

If the oilam wouldn't be buying 15k dollar sets for their newlyweds you wouldn't have what to buy 2nd hand LOL

. Open a Torah times or Weekly Link it's full of classifieds of people trying to sell their bulky chosson kallah furniture.
Most young couples DO NOT NEED this stuff!
Of course like with everything you will find exceptions of people saying oh it's 30 years later and I still loooove my newlywed furniture. But that ain't a reason for parents to shell out that kind of money 10 times or more (depending how many kids they have).

PinkFridge

Tue, Nov 26 2019, 11:21 am

Mama Bear wrote:

The Hungarians like 'balabatishkait'. Things should be pretty, durable, etc.... it's a mindset.

I have to wonder what's sustainable. That is, the next generation isn't necessarily able to do what earlier ones did.