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How do I make shabbos special for her?
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amother




Denim
 

Post  Tue, Dec 10 2019, 7:31 pm
Yes Id explain to dd (if you cannot get her in) that its not rejected and nothing personal that they are prioritizing the spots for kids who are not fortunate enough to have her benefits such as frum family frum school/chinuch etc and love the idea of previous poster to make your own shabbaton with local girls. So fun! just having everyone around and together! Whatever shabbos activities and foods DD likes, board games, etc...she can get a new one...
and B"H on a short shabbos ;D -- after they can go home and crash
hugs and hatzlocha
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shanarishona




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Dec 10 2019, 8:57 pm
Shabbos shtick ( just heard about) .com
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amother




Black
 

Post  Tue, Dec 10 2019, 9:39 pm
OP, I am rooting for you. Working my contacts as a Mom of Oorah kids. Not sure it’ will help you but I understand your problem and theirs.
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amother




Bronze
 

Post  Tue, Dec 10 2019, 9:55 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thank you!!!! Hatzlacha raba to you as well!!!
If you would like to talk, you can email me
israelalways@yahoo.com


Thank you!
That is so sweet of you to offer. Similar in regards to fighting to get my DD into something from which she was rejected, but a completely different issue.
Raising children is not easy. Being a child is not easy. Your DD is very lucky to have you. You seem to be and amazing, kind, and generous role model, and a wonderful advocate for her.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Dec 10 2019, 10:04 pm
amother [ Black ] wrote:
OP, I am rooting for you. Working my contacts as a Mom of Oorah kids. Not sure it’ will help you but I understand your problem and theirs.

Thank you so much, that is so kind of you!!!
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Dec 10 2019, 10:05 pm
amother [ Bronze ] wrote:
Thank you!
That is so sweet of you to offer. Similar in regards to fighting to get my DD into something from which she was rejected, but a completely different issue.
Raising children is not easy. Being a child is not easy. Your DD is very lucky to have you. You seem to be and amazing, kind, and generous role model, and a wonderful advocate for her.

I definitely try my best. Kids are challenging, that’s for sure!! I don’t always think I’m succeeding, and sometimes I know I fail, but the cool thing is that I can always try again.
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amother




Amethyst
 

Post  Tue, Dec 10 2019, 10:58 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
No, you haven’t misunderstood. The assume that everyone who goes is mostly unaffiliated. But then when you apply, you need to fill out your school and shul info. Because oorah is a kiruv organization, they (obviously, and rightfully) take first the kids who have less Jewish association.


Call them up. They're as into kiruv kerovim as anyone else, for kids that need it. They just don't have space for FFB kids that are there just to have a good time but don't really gain anything it of it.
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thunderstorm




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Dec 10 2019, 11:06 pm
My sister had the same situation with her daughter (not in a BY type of school) and she was also a camper at the girls zone . They rejected her for the Shabbaton. Her daughter was so desperate to go that the kid asked her principal to contact them on her behalf and he did and she was able to go. They rejected her from camp as well even though she was a camper there for a few years.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Dec 11 2019, 12:11 am
amother [ Amethyst ] wrote:
Call them up. They're as into kiruv kerovim as anyone else, for kids that need it. They just don't have space for FFB kids that are there just to have a good time but don't really gain anything it of it.

Not according to the follow-up email I received. While kiruv kerovim is important, it’s not their focus.
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amother




Amethyst
 

Post  Wed, Dec 11 2019, 12:29 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Not according to the follow-up email I received. While kiruv kerovim is important, it’s not their focus.


This is after you called and spoke to superior?
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Dec 11 2019, 12:38 am
amother [ Amethyst ] wrote:
This is after you called and spoke to superior?

Yes :-(
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amother




Chartreuse
 

Post  Wed, Dec 11 2019, 7:31 am
OP, you were not the only one whose daughter was not accepted (remember, she wasn't ch"v rejected, she was just not accepted into this event). They don't have enough room to take everyone so they take the kids whose families do not keep shabbos first, so that they can experience shabbos.

Does your daughter's school have shabbatons? My school used to have mini shabbatons a few times during the winter months, where we ate together Friday night and had an oneg afterward with a speaker, nosh and a kumzitz. The girls who did not live in walking distance would sleep over by girls who lived nearby. It was one of my favorite parts of school.
If your daughter's school does not yet have a program like that, I think you should suggest it - and help them plan it!
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amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Dec 11 2019, 8:08 am
amother [ Chartreuse ] wrote:
OP, you were not the only one whose daughter was not accepted (remember, she wasn't ch"v rejected, she was just not accepted into this event). They don't have enough room to take everyone so they take the kids whose families do not keep shabbos first, so that they can experience shabbos.

Does your daughter's school have shabbatons? My school used to have mini shabbatons a few times during the winter months, where we ate together Friday night and had an oneg afterward with a speaker, nosh and a kumzitz. The girls who did not live in walking distance would sleep over by girls who lived nearby. It was one of my favorite parts of school.
If your daughter's school does not yet have a program like that, I think you should suggest it - and help them plan it!

I know that. If they had said they didn’t have space (which is what I will tell her) I would have been ok with it. I get that space is limited. But that’s not it. She wasn’t accepted BECAUSE she goes to BY. Rather than denying her off the bat because she goes to BY, they should have asked me why I applied for her. Then we could have had the follow up conversations. But to deny her simply because she goes to BY doesn’t seem right to me. Don’t tell me “your daughter doesn’t belong here” without asking me about my daughter first. It’s not like there was anywhere on the application to put any info about her. It was all just boxes with automated options.
Her school doesn’t have any shabbaton programs, it’s mostly lower elementary. Maybe as the school grows and there are more older girls, this will become a thing.
I like the idea of making our own shabbaton, I think I’m going to do that, and have her invite whomever she wants for shabbos.
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seeker




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Dec 11 2019, 9:19 am
Making your own Shabbaton at home with the friends is a great idea. I once did a substitute slumber party for DD when I didn't like the official one she was invited to, and she ended up feeling like she got the better deal.

I'm not sure if this is the reason for their policy but here's a perspective. I had a friend who worked in a similar kiruv setup when we were teens. She said the kids used to talk about topics and in ways that frum kids aren't exposed to and probably shouldn't be. Could be if they're plucking kids off the street to experience Shabbos, they can't assure that it will be appropriate for your ffb, BY DD even with her struggles, or maybe especially because of her struggles. I wish there were some other way to get your dd the chizuk she needs.
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