Home

The Painful Rejections of Lakewood Schools
  1, 2, 3 ... 9, 10, 11  Next  Last >>
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling


View latest: 24h 48h 72h


amother




OP
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 10:13 pm
Hi guys. I know this topic has been discussed here numerous times. I feel like if you haven't experienced it yourself, it is very hard to actually understand the magnitude of this absolutely horrific situation going on here. Unfortunately I am in the "Parsha" at this time. I did not apply to "sought after schools" where I wouldn't stand a chance. I applied to small schools. Schools that are more to the "left". Schools that have a diverse crowd. These are the schools I was rejected from. The classes in these schools are not full yet. These schools have rejected us for no reason whatsoever. Is this what Sara Shenirer had in mind when she opened the first jewish girls school? It's heartbreaking to have to be worried that my daughter will be sitting home in September because of this. I know I speak for many others going through this as well. There has got to be a solution for this real fast. Why deny ehrlicha little girls an education? I hope there will be change in this twisted system real soon.
Back to top

amother




Tan
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 11:23 pm
I know it’s hard. So don’t want to minimize that.
But I’ve seen time and time again Hashem finding is the right place.

We got into girls school beginning of August to a school we did not apply to. And we have an old time Lakewood name with yichis. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t hard at the time. In retrospect I see the hand of Hashem. I am so much happier then anywhere else I could’ve gotten in. (This was a few years ago when the school situation was really bad and there were a lot less options).

Now we are applying to boys high schools this year and I keep reminding myself. Just daven for the best school. Don’t plan to much because you never know what will happen.

It does happen that many slots open in the summer when parents decide to push forward and hold back. And many schools add 1-2 students per class last minute. So iyH there should be a place. I just hope the journey isn’t painful for you (or me).
Back to top

Notsobusy




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 11:33 pm
I'm so sorry OP. I wish I had something helpful to say.....

There are so many amazing things about Lakewood, but we as a community have royally failed in regards to school acceptance.
There has to be a better way to do this! Every year most people end up getting in, whether thanks to the vaad or some pull that they have. So why cant they figure out how to accept everyone without first hurting so many people? I will never understand this!
Back to top

ectomorph




 
 
 
 

Post  Wed, Jan 08 2020, 11:50 pm
It's supply and demand. Lakewood has a million choices but the flip side is that there is no guarantee of acceptance.

Move to a tiny OOT community and they'll be thrilled to have your kids.

I hate the mikva where I live. I told my husband, I should live in a place where the worst flaw is an awful mikva.
Back to top

small bean




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 09 2020, 12:21 am
I was rejected for both my boys and girls and I'm sorry, I was not pained. I think that is a choice you make to feel pain by it.

I don't blame the schools. These are not community schools or public schools.They have the right to accept and reject whoever they want. It is a private school.

You need to apply elsewhere until you get in somewhere. And wherever you end up sending, you will be happy if you choose to be, because in reality they are all pretty much the same.
Back to top

sky




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 09 2020, 7:24 am
My daughter also didn’t get in right away. But it was a space issue and nothing personal. BH we ended up getting into a truly fantastic place.
Very few ppl don’t get in until after school starts. I know 2 ppl personally and both wanted a specific school so held out to get in even though they were accepted elsewhere. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen but it is extremely rare.

Personally I found the Vaal not so helpful. Rely on yourself. Call the schools and other schools. Have your rav and friends call for you and network for you. hatzlacha and I hope it works out for you soon.
Back to top

amother




Olive
 

Post  Thu, Jan 09 2020, 7:40 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Hi guys. I know this topic has been discussed here numerous times. I feel like if you haven't experienced it yourself, it is very hard to actually understand the magnitude of this absolutely horrific situation going on here. Unfortunately I am in the "Parsha" at this time. I did not apply to "sought after schools" where I wouldn't stand a chance. I applied to small schools. Schools that are more to the "left". Schools that have a diverse crowd. These are the schools I was rejected from. The classes in these schools are not full yet. These schools have rejected us for no reason whatsoever. Is this what Sara Shenirer had in mind when she opened the first jewish girls school? It's heartbreaking to have to be worried that my daughter will be sitting home in September because of this. I know I speak for many others going through this as well. There has got to be a solution for this real fast. Why deny ehrlicha little girls an education? I hope there will be change in this twisted system real soon.


I am sorry, but there must be a reason why they rejected your daughter when they have space. Maybe you weren't seen as left enough or whatever reason. I am not trying to minimize your rejection, but think if there is some reason for it.

My DD was rejected from a local school. I ran into the principal of the school, and we were dressed very similar down to the wig and jewellery. We started talking because we looked alike. I asked her about DD. She said I came across different on the phone.

My advice would be to examine how you present yourself.
Back to top

amother




Amber
 

Post  Thu, Jan 09 2020, 7:47 am
amother [ Olive ] wrote:
I am sorry, but there must be a reason why they rejected your daughter when they have space. Maybe you weren't seen as left enough or whatever reason. I am not trying to minimize your rejection, but think if there is some reason for it.

My DD was rejected from a local school. I ran into the principal of the school, and we were dressed very similar down to the wig and jewellery. We started talking because we looked alike. I asked her about DD. She said I came across different on the phone.

My advice would be to examine how you present yourself.

People wouldn’t feel as pained if they provided a reason.
This was my experience. Tell me that I’m not frum enough. Tell me that I don’t have enough money. Tell me that I’m not chashuv enough. But tell me!!!!!! Instead I have to imagine what’s wrong with me and that’s when all the pain and negative feelings come in and the rejection is worse.
Back to top

amother




Olive
 

Post  Thu, Jan 09 2020, 8:14 am
amother [ Amber ] wrote:
People wouldn’t feel as pained if they provided a reason.
This was my experience. Tell me that I’m not frum enough. Tell me that I don’t have enough money. Tell me that I’m not chashuv enough. But tell me!!!!!! Instead I have to imagine what’s wrong with me and that’s when all the pain and negative feelings come in and the rejection is worse.


I agree except the school would be swarmed with calls saying that you are frum or rich or cashuv. In my case, it couldn't have been clearer that we were a fit. I would have bombarded the school with people vouching for me.
Back to top

ProudMommie




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 09 2020, 8:42 am
amother [ Olive ] wrote:
I am sorry, but there must be a reason why they rejected your daughter when they have space. Maybe you weren't seen as left enough or whatever reason. I am not trying to minimize your rejection, but think if there is some reason for it.

My DD was rejected from a local school. I ran into the principal of the school, and we were dressed very similar down to the wig and jewellery. We started talking because we looked alike. I asked her about DD. She said I came across different on the phone.

My advice would be to examine how you present yourself.


This is sick! So if you are dressed very similar with wig and jewellery, then your daughter can be accepted?? This is just beyond sad!
Back to top

southernbubby




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 09 2020, 9:15 am
I just wonder what this does to kids. What percentage gives up on being frum?
Back to top

amother




Apricot
 

Post  Thu, Jan 09 2020, 9:32 am
My niece got accepted to school this past year, the week after Succos. It was a very painful Parsha, but I want to say, my sister handled it with class. At no time did she act disrespectful to any school. She approached them with utmost politeness and Kavod.

I too approached the school (my daughter is a student there) and I kept my tone respectful at all times. My sister asked everyone who was helping her to be that way.

It seems there were two reasons she didn't get in right away - one was because her older child had switched schools and every school pointed at someone else as it being "not their responsibility".

Another reason, which truly horrifies us, is that someone told the schools that there's something wrong with my niece. She was born a little bit premature - last week of 8th month - and has no lasting issues whatsoever. Her kindergarten Morah vouched for her. She is totally normal, in fact is a bright, engaging, adorable and healthy child B"H. You cannot imagine how hard it was to undo the perception given by someone as pure Lashon Harah. Ladies, be careful what you say about your neighbors, unless you want it on your cheshbon after 120 that you prevented a Jewish child from getting into a school.

B'Chasdei Hashem, in the end my sister's first choice accepted her. She's doing great, is thriving, and sister is working to accept that for some reason she had to have that Agmas Nefesh, it should bring her Bracha in the future.

OP, B"EH your child will be accepted to a good school. You have to trust and stay strong. Keep your dignity whatever you do - it will stand you in good stead. Try not to give in to negativity. It's a huge nisayon, Hashem should give you strength.
Back to top

ProudMommie




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 09 2020, 9:40 am
"Another reason, which truly horrifies us, is that someone told the schools that there's something wrong with my niece. She was born a little bit premature - last week of 8th month - and has no lasting issues whatsoever. Her kindergarten Morah vouched for her. She is totally normal, in fact is a bright, engaging, adorable and healthy child B"H. "

This.

And we wonder why we are in golus... or why there is raging anti semitism.
Back to top

amother




Sapphire
 

Post  Thu, Jan 09 2020, 10:13 am
I just wonder what this does to kids. What percentage gives up on being frum?//


the kids... sometimes it makes me want to give up... Sad
Back to top

mommy201




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 09 2020, 10:15 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Hi guys. I know this topic has been discussed here numerous times. I feel like if you haven't experienced it yourself, it is very hard to actually understand the magnitude of this absolutely horrific situation going on here. Unfortunately I am in the "Parsha" at this time. I did not apply to "sought after schools" where I wouldn't stand a chance. I applied to small schools. Schools that are more to the "left". Schools that have a diverse crowd. These are the schools I was rejected from. The classes in these schools are not full yet. These schools have rejected us for no reason whatsoever. Is this what Sara Shenirer had in mind when she opened the first jewish girls school? It's heartbreaking to have to be worried that my daughter will be sitting home in September because of this. I know I speak for many others going through this as well. There has got to be a solution for this real fast. Why deny ehrlicha little girls an education? I hope there will be change in this twisted system real soon.


I know some non-Vaad people that are involved in helping people like you and get results.. You can pm me.
Back to top

thunderstorm




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 09 2020, 10:32 am
southernbubby wrote:
I just wonder what this does to kids. What percentage gives up on being frum?

I have three non religious nieces who were not accepted into any school years ago when they moved. (Not Lakewood) Is that the reason for the leaving yiddishkeit ? I don’t know. But they started going off and acting out after being home for an entire year and feeling completely unwanted. By the time they were finally accepted to a place they refused to go to school out of anger and deep resentment.
Back to top

amother




Brown
 

Post  Thu, Jan 09 2020, 11:14 am
amother [ Olive ] wrote:
I am sorry, but there must be a reason why they rejected your daughter when they have space. Maybe you weren't seen as left enough or whatever reason. I am not trying to minimize your rejection, but think if there is some reason for it.

My DD was rejected from a local school. I ran into the principal of the school, and we were dressed very similar down to the wig and jewellery. We started talking because we looked alike. I asked her about DD. She said I came across different on the phone.

My advice would be to examine how you present yourself.



If you cannot be kind to OP please refrain from posting.
Back to top

Learning




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 09 2020, 11:30 am
Quote:
removed.

I think it is actually horrible. If we had real Rabbis who are worth to be called that they would follow the normal way that every child goes to the school in his district. The system right now is completely cliquey and pushy. You need connections or money to have your child be happy. Idk why you don’t realize that it is just mean to the children
Back to top

ProudMommie




 
 
 
 

Post  Thu, Jan 09 2020, 11:37 am
Learning wrote:
I think it is actually horrible. If we had real Rabbis who are worth to be called that they would follow the normal way that every child goes to the school in his district. The system right now is completely cliquey and pushy. You need connections or money to have your child be happy. Idk why you don’t realize that it is just mean to the children


Exactly...
Back to top

amother




Floralwhite
 

Post  Thu, Jan 09 2020, 11:57 am
Learning wrote:
I think it is actually horrible. If we had real Rabbis who are worth to be called that they would follow the normal way that every child goes to the school in his district. The system right now is completely cliquey and pushy. You need connections or money to have your child be happy. Idk why you don’t realize that it is just mean to the children


Hmmm.

So if it were determined by the boundaries that your neighborhood school was coed, girls learn gemorrah and most of the mothers don’t cover their hair, you’d say great.

And I have a friend who is a single mother by choice. And I don’t mean adoption or sperm bank. She doesn’t cover her hair because she has no need to, never having been married. And yes, her kids go to Jewish schools. If she were zoned for your school, you’d have no problem with it.
Back to top
  1, 2, 3 ... 9, 10, 11  Next  Last >> Recent Topics

Page 1 of 11 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Chassidish boys schools
by amother
9 Today at 7:01 pm View last post
The gym lakewood 0 Today at 1:33 pm View last post
Best place to take a covid and strept test in Lakewood?
by amother
1 Today at 12:44 pm View last post
Cherry hill schools
by amother
3 Today at 7:52 am View last post
Ride from Brooklyn to Lakewood
by amother
4 Today at 12:00 am View last post

Jump to: