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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Infants
EsaEinai
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 Wed, Jan 16 2008, 1:14 am
It seems like my baby either eats, sleeps, or cries. In the last few weeks theres been very little time that my baby has been awake and not crying. Why does my baby cry all the time? Am I an inadequate mother? Thats how I feel. When I try to feed the baby, which has been pretty often lately, the baby dozes off, wakes up soon after most of the time, and then just cries. Am I not giving her enough food? Why does she always cry?
What can I do with her to minimize her crying? Are there any activities you can recommend for a newborn?
Does anyone else feel inadequate or incompetent? Its an awful feeling... I hate seeing my baby cry and I hate feeling like I'm a bad mother and always making her cry...
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Sparkle
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Wed, Jan 16 2008, 1:36 am
Honey, I say with this lots of sympathy in my voice:
Welcome to motherhood.
It does get better...I had this with ALL my kids between 2 and 11 weeks. Hang in there!
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hila
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Wed, Jan 16 2008, 1:44 am
{{{{{{{{{{ hugs }}}}}}}}}}}
First welcome to motherhood.
Second it gets better (ok different)
Third - YOU ARE NOT AN INADEQUATE MOTHER
You have a new bab, your body is in recovery mode and you aer tired. In addition this little person cant always tell you what is wrong.
My advice - and you can reject it - is
- get a sling . Put the little one (does she have a name or shal we call her el heharim  ?) in it under your coat, and get out the house. Walk, go visiting, go to the mall, etc.
She will probably sleep for a while and you will get to see teh real world.
Hopefully when she wakes she will be hungry enough to eat properly
- get support - friends with babies, family and non critical people. Go to La Leche meetings where babies are the norm.
There are babies who cry a lot at first. If she has at list 6-8 wet nappies(diapers) a day and poops every so often, and is growing I would not worry too much. Your milk is feeding her.
_ get a brewak. when your dh gets home - hand her to him, and go out for 5 minutes. Sounds like you have cabin fever.
- if you get too miserable , get help soon. PPD is not to be ashamed of.
{{{{{{{more hugs }}}}}}}}} . She will soon be a teenager - then talk to me about feeling inadequate !
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grin
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Wed, Jan 16 2008, 1:53 am
very well said, hila - I have nothing to add except - lots of nachas. Some babies just cry a lot because that's their entrance into the world. Hashem ya'azor this stage should pass quickly.
(When my little ones still make me crazy - and they're supposed to be way past the crying stage, I calm myslef down by reminding myslef that BS"D eventually they do grow up!)
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EsaEinai
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Wed, Jan 16 2008, 2:05 am
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she cries like crazy and when I try to feed her because I think she'shungry she's so feisty and looks like she's an angry cat ready to pounce. its scary to feed her sometimes! she never used to cry, she was so calm and tranquil, and now shes hysterical all the time. its so hard!
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grin
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Wed, Jan 16 2008, 2:21 am
how old is she? till when was she tranquil? When did this start and how long has this been going on?
If it's just a couple of days, it could be a growth spurt and she's impatient for your milk supply to catch up to her new demands.
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hila
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Wed, Jan 16 2008, 2:23 am
Or maybe she has what the y used to call "colic" in my day. Try letting her sleep upright and stop feeding every once in a while and let her burp.
If you are really worried - take her to teh ped to be checked out.
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justanothermother
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Wed, Jan 16 2008, 6:52 am
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My second baby was really hard in the beginning. He cried ALL the time. I remember thinking "B"H he isn't my first because I would think I was the worst mother in the world."
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613
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Wed, Jan 16 2008, 11:15 am
Is she happy when she's held and just comforted?
My baby, who is already close to 4 month, kah, is like that- she just likes to be held. She can spend sometime sitting, lying down whatever, but after a few minutes she gets fussy. So I pick her up and all's good. DH says I'm spoiling her, but nah, I'm just LOVING her!!
the other way to stop her fussing is by talking/playing w/ her. bottom line- she wants attention!!!
is your baby fussing, crying, or really screaming?
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greeneyes
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Wed, Jan 16 2008, 1:46 pm
EsaEinai, you definitely are NOT an inadequate mother. My baby also cried a whole lot, so I know it's hard not to feel like you are doing something wrong. My husband had to keep telling me that I was doing the best I could, & that I was still a great mother. Babies have different temperaments, & some cry more than others. Also some babies are gassy or have reflux... Did you ask the doctor if there is anything he/she suggests?
((HUGS!)) Hope this is just a little phase that passes really quickly!
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Lilkingdom
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Wed, Jan 16 2008, 2:04 pm
Had the exact same thing and still do! Is your baby colic? Reflux? These are two very common reasons for non-stop crying. There's not much you can do except wait for them to outgrow it.
Did you try switching her formula/your diet?
Many babies cant take dairy.
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Raisin
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Wed, Jan 16 2008, 2:19 pm
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My baby is also really kvetchy, not the whole time, but someimes. (I think our babies are the same age, right?) We got some stuff called infacol (active ingr is simeticone) which you give before feeding and it has really made a difference.
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Mimisinger
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Wed, Jan 16 2008, 2:22 pm
A) You are a good mother
B) It took me a looonnnngggg time to figure this out, but babies burp A LOT! Even after I burped ds he cried. Only when I realized he had to be burped much more often and much more did he stop crying and is/was b"h a very happy baby. Bicycle those legs and pump them A LOT! You'll think it's crazy, but the burps are hard on them.
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suomynona
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Wed, Jan 16 2008, 4:12 pm
I was just going to start a new thread, but then I saw this discussion and I realized that some of the answers here might be answers for me.
My baby (3 months old) b"h sleeps pretty well at night. I can't complain on that end. She wakes up in a great mood. All you have to do is look at her and she grins from ear to ear. That mood lasts about a couple of hours. As the day goes on she gets progressively more and more cranky. The afternoons are impossible. I end up holding her all afternoon. She does usually stop crying when I hold her, but she just doesn't look happy. She looks cranky and miserable. I end up nursing her a lot just to keep her from crying but I don't think that's really what she needs. I have a hunch that she doesn't know how to fall asleep on her own during the day, but even when she does finally fall asleep from rocking or nursing, she mostly only catnaps and will wake up after 10-15 min or a bit longer.
Is this normal? Why does her mood change so drastically and why is she so cranky all the time and never happy in the afternoons?
Could it be gas or reflux? Any way I can know for sure?
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Sparkle
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Wed, Jan 16 2008, 5:03 pm
| Quote: | My baby (3 months old) b"h sleeps pretty well at night. I can't complain on that end. She wakes up in a great mood. All you have to do is look at her and she grins from ear to ear. That mood lasts about a couple of hours. As the day goes on she gets progressively more and more cranky. The afternoons are impossible. I end up holding her all afternoon. She does usually stop crying when I hold her, but she just doesn't look happy. She looks cranky and miserable. I end up nursing her a lot just to keep her from crying but I don't think that's really what she needs. I have a hunch that she doesn't know how to fall asleep on her own during the day, but even when she does finally fall asleep from rocking or nursing, she mostly only catnaps and will wake up after 10-15 min or a bit longer.
Is this normal? Why does her mood change so drastically and why is she so cranky all the time and never happy in the afternoons?
Could it be gas or reflux? Any way I can know for sure? |
I think babies just get crankier as the days go on. They have to deal with alot of stimulation that they don't know how to block out - and it sounds like she is getting more and more tired as the day goes on. I think teaching her to sleep better during the day will help. My daughter is 4 months old and I just started a couple weeks ago to put her down in the crib and let her fuss herself to sleep. I go in every few minutes and pat her and maybe even hold her for a minute, but then I put her down. It takes anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour for her to fall asleep - but she seems to sleep better. She still fusses in the evening but at least I know she is not exhausted.
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Nicole
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Wed, Jan 16 2008, 7:29 pm
esa- we should've spoken last night. I went to sleep crying bec I felt so inadequate....
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Mirabelle
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Wed, Jan 16 2008, 7:42 pm
Do you have a swing? My daughter loved the swing and it was our saving grace for her first few months. Some people say its not needed, but I dont know how we would have gotten through those first few weeks without it.
Have you read the book or seen the video "The Happiest Baby on the Block"? I thought a lot of that doctor's advice worked well on a newborn.
Oy, DD is 15 months today! How much do I miss having a sweet newborn that doesn't trash my house as soon as a I clean it!
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EsaEinai
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Wed, Jan 16 2008, 9:05 pm
I think it was a combination of gas, a growth spurt, and mommy not getting enough sleep. last weekend she started this crying non-stop pattern and I let her sleep in her car seat and it seems she was in less pain. shes been munching away pretty frequently (which causes me anxiety- im still getting used to the whole nursing thing) so theres probably a lot of growing going on (hopefully). because I havent gotten any sleep I guess I overreacted to everything going on and I didnt know how to handle her so I just cried, which made her cry even more. baruch Hashem I was a lot more patient with her last night, we went out for a nice walk today, I started playing with actual toys with her, and I sucked up my nursing fear and stuck with it. today both mommy and baby seem much happier  baruch Hashem! thanks for all of the responses. I appreciate all of the suggestions and validation.
(this is a little off topic, but where can I find a list of what foods typically make babies gassy?)
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Twizzlers
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Wed, Jan 16 2008, 9:09 pm
as my pediatrician used to say.....CRYING IS A SPORT!
(I know, as a nervous first time mom with a screaming baby, it wasnt really what I wanted to hear, but sometimes its true!)
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stem
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Sat, Jan 19 2008, 10:44 pm
My aunt told me about this baby-holding position that stops them from crying every time. It's amazing, try it!
Hold the baby facing away from you with your arms wrapped around her belly and chest tightly. Then slowly bend your knees down and then slowly straighten them back up. Do the knee bends a few times and I can almost guarantee the baby will stop crying.
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