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Getting the kids out of bed (especially minyan boys)
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Poll

who gets the kids up and out of bed in morn?
me
 63%  [ 84 ]
dh
 6%  [ 9 ]
they get up themselves
 29%  [ 39 ]
Total Votes : 132


amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Jan 14 2020, 1:17 pm
I find that I usually get the kids up in the morning, as opposed to dh just wanted to hear about others! (that means I usually get out of bed first)
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amother




Slategray
 

Post  Tue, Jan 14 2020, 1:18 pm
Not what you want to hear. But me. Even though my DH is usually still sleeping in bed
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amother




Tangerine
 

Post  Tue, Jan 14 2020, 1:21 pm
DH is not home anymore by the time the kids have to get up.
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tweety1




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 14 2020, 2:13 pm
I voted me but it's a combo of me and themselves. Some of my kids I have to wake up, some do so on their own, I have one son that he needs a certain amt of sleep per night, if he gets it he wakes up on his own, if not I have to drag him out of bed even if it's 15 min short.
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sky




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 14 2020, 2:21 pm
DH is long gone. He calls at about 7 to wake me if the baby hasn’t yet Smile. Then I wake boys for minyan bus. My boys are outside to catch the 7:14 bus. If they waste even 1 second I’m also the taxi driver
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amother




Denim
 

Post  Tue, Jan 14 2020, 2:35 pm
If they're old enough to be responsible for minyan they should be responsible enough to wake up themselves on time.
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 14 2020, 2:38 pm
Themselves
If they miss the bus they are home that day. They do NOT want that to happen more than once or twice. If they would I would look into whether something is bothering them at school.
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amother




OP
 

Post  Tue, Jan 14 2020, 2:48 pm
slategray it is what I want to hear! I want to know im not the only one who feels the responsibility;)) sometimes even more than dh
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amother




Seashell
 

Post  Tue, Jan 14 2020, 2:51 pm
I wake up at 6:15. Wake up the boys and prepare their food food the day. Then I drive them to the bus stop. All while dh is sleeping. We both work dh leaves the house at 7:45, and I leave at 8:10.
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asmileaday




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 14 2020, 2:54 pm
I taught my kids to use an alarm clock from when they were young.
Once they start minyan for sure the responsibility is on them.
My sister has a bunch of boys and she warned me when my oldest started minyan- make sure you teach him the responsibility is on him, otherwise you'll be forever waking him.
B"h this works with my kids natures. I know I'm lucky.
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momX4




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 14 2020, 2:56 pm
Zehava wrote:
Themselves
If they miss the bus they are home that day. They do NOT want that to happen more than once or twice. If they would I would look into whether something is bothering them at school.


Seriously, wow!! My kids would miss their bus every day.

I send my kids with an Uber. I pay, since they make an honest effort to make the bus. We had some days when the bus ran 10 min early.

When my kids were younger, if they played games in the morning and missed the bus, they would have to pay me with chores.
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keym




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 14 2020, 3:00 pm
A combination of myself, my husband, and the boys. They have to wake up at 6/6:15. They're bus comes by 6:30. So they want to get up, but they need and ask for my help.
They love school, but can't get up by themselves because it's an insanely early time, and I can't drive them on a regular basis at 7:30 because of the whole schedule thing.
My kids who get up at more reasonable times have their own alarms, and I knock on their doors to remind themselves of the time to Pace themselves.
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amother




Periwinkle
 

Post  Tue, Jan 14 2020, 3:00 pm
A professional once told me that teens should always wake up by themselves. What I do is , I wake them up once , and then leave the responsibility up to them .
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esuss




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 14 2020, 3:09 pm
They wake up with their alarms but I get up with them just to send them off.
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amother




White
 

Post  Tue, Jan 14 2020, 3:11 pm
I was having a very hard time waking my kids until one day I told them that I will not be waking them anymore. From then on they were given alarm clocks and I explained what I expected them to do when they hear it ring. I told them what time they need to be all ready. This has been working much better than I ever imagined.
I’m still there for them but I only interact with them after they are up and dressed.
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Zehava




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 14 2020, 3:18 pm
momX4 wrote:
Seriously, wow!! My kids would miss their bus every day.

I send my kids with an Uber. I pay, since they make an honest effort to make the bus. We had some days when the bus ran 10 min early.

When my kids were younger, if they played games in the morning and missed the bus, they would have to pay me with chores.

How many days do you think your kids would want to stay home? Every day? I doubt that. It’s this belief that keeps them from taking responsibility.
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mommyhood




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 14 2020, 3:19 pm
amother [ Denim ] wrote:
If they're old enough to be responsible for minyan they should be responsible enough to wake up themselves on time.

Minyan in our school starts in 6th grade. I don’t see anything wrong with a mother waking up a kid that age. It’s hard for an 11/12 year old to motivate themselves to wake up on their own when everyone else is still sleeping.
To answer the OP weekday morning are on me, dh leaves too early to help.
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keym




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 14 2020, 3:23 pm
mommyhood wrote:
Minyan in our school starts in 6th grade. I don’t see anything wrong with a mother waking up a kid that age. It’s hard for an 11/12 year old to motivate themselves to wake up on their own when everyone else is still sleeping.
To answer the OP weekday morning are on me, dh leaves too early to help.


Absolutely agreed.
To add to that, if a child asks a parent to help them wake up, that's part of the kid taking responsibility and problem solving.
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sky




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 14 2020, 3:26 pm
The responsibility thing and waking yourself up sounds good in theory. And I probably preached it myself before I had teens. I’ve since learned.

Young teenage boys don’t really care if they miss minyan. They don’t care if they come late to school. They deal with school consequences.

I want to show them I value minyan. And I value the effort they put into tefillah and learning. If they woke up late for a ball game they’d stay home or pay for transportation. But for myself I can’t do that with learning or davening. If I don’t value it then why should they.

I’d rather they learn to be responsible with something else rather then missing tefillah.

I also have to recognize them as a person my boys are very responsible. And I can count on them for so many things. They babysit when I need or cleanup or take another kid to a friend. If making the bus is something they struggle with but show me they are responsible in other ways then I want to show I’m on their side.
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keym




 
 
 
 

Post  Tue, Jan 14 2020, 3:29 pm
sky wrote:
The responsibility thing and waking yourself up sounds good in theory. And I probably preached it myself before I had teens. I’ve since learned.

Young teenage boys don’t really care if they miss minyan. They don’t care if they come late to school. They deal with school consequences.

I want to show them I value minyan. And I value the effort they put into tefillah and learning. If they woke up late for a ball game they’d stay home or pay for transportation. But for myself I can’t do that with learning or davening. If I don’t value it then why should they.

I’d rather they learn to be responsible with something else rather then missing tefillah.

I also have to recognize them as a person my boys are very responsible. And I can count on them for so many things. If making the bus is something they struggle with but show me they are responsible in other ways then I want to show I’m on their side.

Cheers Applause Applause
I like how you said it very much.
Add to that, that a teenager is naturally challenged with waking up early, all good intentions notwithstanding.
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