What are your inconsistencies?

amother

Wed, Jan 15 2020, 6:41 pm

We all have our hypocrisies and inconsistencies in our behavior, or things that don't match what we portray ourselves to be to the rest of the world.

These can be hashkafic, generally ethical, character-wise, etc.

For example, I can give speeches to others on Imamother about not being too hard on themselves, but I am a huge perfectionist and can't forgive my own iniquities. It has caused me anxiety and depression and robbed me of happiness.

Another example - I may not watch movies officially, but I certainly come as close as possible. I.e. if I am in my parents' house and someone shows me something, I won't look away... things posted on Imamother... "innocent" movies... I move the line a lot.

What are some of yours?

amother

Orange

Wed, Jan 15 2020, 6:58 pm

After you.
Editing to explain that I wrote this before OP evidently expanded her OP. We must have cross-posted.
Good for you OP. I'll see what I can come up with.

Zehava

Wed, Jan 15 2020, 7:05 pm

I talk a big game about self-expression, owning your story, feeling your feelings, loving yourself, forming connections and so on. I even manage to fool myself sometimes.
But I am so far from there

honeymoon

Wed, Jan 15 2020, 7:24 pm

In theory I'm an amazing parent. In practice.... well, I do try.

I also talk to my students a lot about positive self talk and having a positive attitude. While I do try to practice it, it's hard at times.

FranticFrummie

Wed, Jan 15 2020, 7:27 pm

I am consistently inconsistent!

Consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

For me, it's not so much that I say "I am like this" when I'm really nowhere even close to being "that". There's no glaring inconsistencies, like belonging to PETA, and then going to Africa for big game hunting.

It's more that I'm a giant mishmash of all kinds of things, and sometimes some of these things bump into each other and seem to clash. It's all just tiny details of the big picture that makes up me.

Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are dead. ~Aldous Huxley

honeymoon

Wed, Jan 15 2020, 7:28 pm

thunderstorm wrote:

I’m someone that tends to be able to be an inspiration to others but have a very hard time inspiring myself

This is me. It kills me sometimes.

honeymoon

Wed, Jan 15 2020, 7:29 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are dead. ~Aldous Huxley

I'm framing this and hanging it on my headboard.

polka dots

Wed, Jan 15 2020, 10:48 pm

I’m a big believer in open communication. People should work through their problems. Open and honest conversations.

I have such a hard time doing that. I would go through so much before actually confronting the person that I’m bothered by.

amother

Smokey

Wed, Jan 15 2020, 11:04 pm

amother [ Babypink ] wrote:

At gatherings I’m very funny deep down I’m very depressed and lonely

That’s common. People who are crying on the inside are often clowns on the outside, trying to cover up for the world.

iyar

Wed, Jan 15 2020, 11:15 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

I’m too shy to list all my inconsistencies.
But I had to say- Loved reading that!
Besides the fabulous quote you ended with that honeymoon is framing and hanging over her headboard (@honeymoon you must post a photo when you’re done!),
- you just have a way with words FF!

honeymoon

Wed, Jan 15 2020, 11:17 pm

iyar wrote:

Frame it too! We can all use a reminder from time to time... Smile

amother

Periwinkle

Wed, Jan 15 2020, 11:34 pm

Does A thing of the past count? Well, I used to be very harsh on others with my words. Even on here too, irl, but I always told my kids how one must be sensitive to others. And it bothered me. Why I say one thing to my kids but practice another. Untill I came across this quote-that I hung up on my wall, saw it daily cuz it was in a very obvious spot and BH over time it worked. BE CAREFUL HOW YOU TREAT OTHER PEOPLE. WHAT YOU DO TO OTHERS HAS A FUNNY WAY OF COMING BACK AT YOU. I wrote it onto a plain paper in black marker and there I read it over and over again.
Anon cuz many ppl saw it hanging in my house.

malki2

Wed, Jan 15 2020, 11:51 pm

Here’s a thought:

It’s ok to be inconsistent as long as you are aware that you are being inconsistent.

Rabbi Miller ZTL said that the Gemara says that your insides should be like your outside תוכו כברו. Meaning that it’s something to strive for, and of course nobody is perfect. But he says that it does NOT say that your outside should be like your inside. Meaning that if someone is not so good on the inside, they should still put on a good show on the outside, and hope that one day the insides will match the outside.